<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>We Were Bound by reakeww</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28214589">We Were Bound</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/reakeww/pseuds/reakeww'>reakeww</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, But both think it’s unrequited, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Faeryn is too dumb to realize, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Get Together, James is hopelessly in love, Lesbian Lily Evans, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Protective Remus Lupin, Remus Lupin Has a Twin, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Remus and Sirius are totally in love, Slow Burn, They feel eachother’s pain, i really don’t want you here, wattpad users go away, wolfstar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 01:15:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>68,172</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28214589</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/reakeww/pseuds/reakeww</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus Lupin and his twin Faeryn Lupin have always felt each others pain. This doesn’t turn out well when he transforms into a werewolf every full moon. James Potter knows he’s not allowed to have feelings for his best mates twin, but can’t help himself. Faeryn just may be a little to dumb to notice.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Potter/Original Female Character(s), Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Solemnly Swear</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Chapter one</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">─</span> <span class="s2">•~</span> <span class="s3">❉</span> <span class="s4">᯽</span> <span class="s3">❉</span> <span class="s2">~•</span> <span class="s1">─</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">i solemnly swear i am up to no good</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">─</span> <span class="s2">•~</span> <span class="s3">❉</span> <span class="s4">᯽</span> <span class="s3">❉</span> <span class="s2">~•</span> <span class="s1">─</span></p><p class="p1">Faeryn was unable to process any intelligible thoughts. Only one thing was invading her mind, gripping her thoughts from her head and tearing them away as if they never existed to her in the first place.</p><p>All she could think about was the <em>pain</em>.</p><p>The horrible, indescribable pain of her bones shattering, and then mending back together. The feeling of her shattered bones melting back into shape, pulling uncontrolled sobs out of her mouth. All of the pain of the mending, just for her bones to snap again, creating new joints, more bones, and more areas for the ache to latch onto.</p><p>And then it was the stretching of her skin, the pull becoming overbearing until the pressure became too much, and her skin snapped. The feeling of all her nerves being ripped in half, the pain coming in waves, growing, pulling loud sobs out of her mouth. But she couldn't decide if they were coming from her mouth, or someone else's.</p><p>Based on the horrible dryness of her throat, she decided it was her screams echoing off of the walls. She didn't have enough energy to care, or to stop them, because now scolding heat was flowing through her veins, horrible, boiling lava gushing throughout her body.</p><p>And she screamed louder, and louder. She latched onto the sound of her voice, poured all of her focus into the pained yells. Maybe if she focused on something else the hurt would go away.</p><p>Much to Faeryn's dismay, it did not.</p><p>Although the pain began to dull, which as good as it may sound, was a curse to her. Because now her senses were coming back, the numbness of the pain was fading, and she was able to process the pain sober. Instead of experiencing the indescribable agony through a dark tunnel, she was awake, and aware, and she felt <em>all</em> of it.</p><p>And then it stopped, and all that was left was a dull ache, and the sound of her sobs.</p><p>Now she could process everything, the feeling of hands running through her hair soothingly, the sweet nothings being whispered kindly in her ear.</p><p>Her eyes were squeezed shut painfully, to the point that the muscles were tensed enough to allow stars to overtake her vision. But she could now process that her head was laid in someone's lap, that she was being cradled lovingly.</p><p>She reluctantly peeled open one of her eyes, causing a whimper to come out of her mouth. Her sobs had now been drowned to a quiet cry, tears still wetting her cheeks.</p><p>"It's okay, shh, shh, it's over now, it's okay." came a soothing voice.</p><p>Lily Evans.</p><p>And then she remembered, where she was, what she was doing, what was happening, why she was in pain. And suddenly <em>her</em> pain didn't matter. The agony she went through was pushed the the back of her mind, it was not important.</p><p>Because Remus was in way more pain than her.</p><p>He was stuck up in some shack, his mind was overtaken by something else, something he never asked for. Although, you could say she didn't ask for this either. But she wasn't one to complain, because now he was clawing at himself, mind begging to be released into the forrest. And when that release couldn't be found, he'd tear at his skin, try to take the anger and need out on himself.</p><p>She had no right to complain. Because it was a full moon, and Remus was in his wolf form, in a shack. And Faeryn was still human, and she would stay human, and she was in her bed. In the warm comforting arms of a friend. And he was out there all alone.</p><p>So she had no right to complain.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Destiny</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chapter 2</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">─</span> <span class="s2">•~</span> <span class="s3">❉</span> <span class="s4">᯽</span> <span class="s3">❉</span> <span class="s2">~•</span> <span class="s1">─</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">destiny</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">─</span> <span class="s2">•~</span> <span class="s3">❉</span> <span class="s4">᯽</span> <span class="s3">❉</span> <span class="s2">~•</span> <span class="s1">─</span></p><p class="p1">Breakfast was unbearable the next day.</p><p>This moon was worse than usual, and Faeryn had no idea why. She knew that if her twin was stressed the wolf would inflict more pain, but what was he stressed about? Was it the stress of the upcoming OWLs?</p><p>She felt every ache, every gash, every reset bone, every spark of pain. It was thankfully dulled due to Madam Pomfrey's insurance that she drink a pain potion every 6 hours for the day. Although the potion didn't do much to ease the horrible worries plaguing her thoughts.</p><p>Why was Remus so stressed? Is he okay? What's been going on to make him so bad? Why hasn't he talk to her about it?</p><p>She was abruptly yanked from her thoughts when 3 boys lazily plopped onto the bench in front of her, the dishes rattling against each other at the force, she looked up at them tiredly.</p><p>Peter flashed her a sheepish smile, he looked anxious, tense. He began to franticly usher food into his plate, immediately shoving whole muffins into his mouth. She wanted to ask the kind boy what was wrong, but decided not to pry. She lazily smiled back.</p><p>Sirius had a smirk on his lips, but his eyes were busy searching Faeryns and Lily's tired expressions, "You guys look like shit." he said with his eyebrowed slightly furrowed.</p><p>Faeryn flashed him a bored look, "Thank you, Sirius. You sure know how to make girls feel good about themselves." She quickly glanced to Peter who was still shoveling food into his mouth frantically, she rose her eyebrow at the boy.</p><p>The other two boys, she noticed, were not eating. This was quite surprising, as she looked over to James who would usually be plopping big heaps of food onto his plate. And instead, he was tapping his finger absentmindedly against the grained wood of the Gryffindor table. His eyes kept trailing to Peter's plate, his gaze unseeing.</p><p>"How's Remus?" she asked, as she slowly piled a small portion of food onto her plate.</p><p>She tried not to wince at the movement. For she knew exactly how Remus was, she could feel the uncomfortable heat pooling in her joints, the static throbbing of her skin, the constant ache behind her eyes. The giant hash she knew would be bandaged on her brothers arm the next time she saw him. And although the pain potion was dulling the sensations, she still felt everything.</p><p>But the boys didn't know that, and it would be odd not to ask.</p><p>Sirius cast a nervous glance at Lily, who was politely eating her food to Faeryns left, keeping quiet, but focusing her attention on the conversation playing out in front of her. Sirius awkwardly cleared his throat, "He got sick last night, we haven't gone to see him yet. Just waiting for Pete to finish his breakfast." he flashed a small grin at Peter, slyly gesturing for him to hurry eating.</p><p>Peter froze, his hand was halfway to his mouth, a small portion of a bread roll held loosely in between his fingers. He blinked and set his roll onto his plate. He brought his sleeve up to his mouth and wiped the jam and crumbs from the corners of his lips.</p><p>"Done," he said shyly, with a sheepish smile on his face.</p><p>"That's our queue. See you, little Moony!" James called out, as he quickly stood up from his seat, snatching an apple from the middle of the table and tossing it up in the air just to catch it again. "Evans." he nodded kindly. She nodded back.</p><p>"He's only 20 minutes older than me, Potter!" Faeryn grumbled back. He ignored her and the three boys quickly strolled out of the great hall.</p><p>Things had been quite unusual since Lily announced her new development toward a blonde Ravenclaw girl, Rowan, who Lily and Faeryn were quite close to. Lily was now way closer to Rowan than Faeryn would ever be, as they were now dating.</p><p>James had obviously been harboring a crush on the redhead girl for quite some time, and it took him a while to get used to the fact that she didn't like him like that, that she never would like <em>any</em> guy like that.</p><p>Although once he got over the initial shock, he congratulated her on her new relationship and wished her well. It took everyone a while to get used to the quietness during mealtimes, the absence of his voice yelling across the table was almost uncomfortable. But the people who knew of Lily's relationship were very happy for her, and also very happy for their eardrums, that now didn't have to hear James getting hexed by Lily every day.</p><p>It had been considerably quiet since, factoring out when the group of trouble makers would pull their pranks. The boy hadn't found anyone else to torment. At least not yet.</p><p>"How's Remus doing?" Lily asked Faeryn as she slid more food onto her plate, knowing she would know that answer.</p><p>Lily, Faeryns best friend and dormmate, had known about Remus's lycanthropy for quite awhile. And sometime in 3rd year kindly asked Faeryn about it, who was terrified that she was going to tattle to Dumbledore. But was relieved to find out that Lily had known for a while, and was not going to tell.</p><p>And then one night, Faeryns silencing spell went faulty in the middle of a transformation, which caused Lily to wake up at the sound of her pained yelps. She swiftly slid into Faeryns bed and cast another silencing charm as to not wake the other girls in the room. And she played with her hair and was there for her, and didn't ask any questions until the next morning.</p><p>Faeryn didn't have a very good answer for her, though. As she had no idea why she shared the pains of her twin brother.</p><p>It had started when they were children, and Faeryn had broken her arm while spinning in a tire swing. Remus had complained of static running throughout his arm where she had broken hers. And it slowly progressed from there, Faeryn would feel little pinches of pain during full moons. Remus would feel the pain of a red handprint on his sister's cheek from their father. Slowly the pain level increased, and they felt more, and they were able to desert more details about each other's aches and injuries.</p><p>Remus felt the heat and the pinching of his sister's first period, which was a very awkward conversation for 11-year-old Remus, who had no idea what a period was, or why his stomach felt like it was going to fall out.</p><p>And now they felt every pain, even if one small nerve in Faeryns finger intercepted any pain, it would send a reaction not only to Faeryns brain, but Remus's as well.</p><p>And neither of them knew why.</p><p>They had read all the books they could find that possibly had the answer, and there was nothing.</p><p>They even asked Dumbledore, who only looked at them with a knowing glint in his eye, and sent them on their way with some cryptic words about "Destiny" and "The inability to control ones future."</p><p>That obviously didn't help, as his words had nothing to do with their question. He did allow them access to the restricted section of the library, where after a few weeks of reading they found nothing.</p><p>Soon they gave up, accepting the shared pains as something that would always happen, something they couldn't change.</p><p>Lily had done her own research when Faeryn told her about it, and had come up blind. Only finding something about a myth that twins would share some pains and thoughts, but nothing to the extent of Remus and Faeryn, who felt every poke and prod of pain.</p><p>There were only 5 people who knew about it, and most of them went against Faeryns want to not tell anybody. She didn't want to take people's focus off of Remus and his needs, he had it worse.</p><p>The five people were her and Remus, obviously. Lily, Dumbledore, and Madam Pomfrey. Remus told her sometime in 3rd year after a particularly bad moon and begged her to give his sister a pain potion, even though Faeryn insisted that she was fine.</p><p>Faeryn made Remus promise not the tell the Marauders when they found out about his lycanthropy. She saw Sirius as a brother, and he saw her as a sister, and she knew he would be worried about her. She didn't want any attention pulled away from her brother. Especially Sirius's attention, which Remus seemed to need his the most, although for a reason she was unsure of.</p><p>"He's doing awful," she replied to Lily with a frown, "He ought to be in the hospital wing for the next few days."</p><p>Lily frowned at her food, "How are <em>you</em> feeling, Fae?" she asked.</p><p>Faeryn scoffed, and then regretted the attitude toward her friend, "Sorry, but you know I don't like it when you ask me that." she said with a slight frown.</p><p>"Yeah I know, but you are in pain too," she added, shoving a fork into her mouth.</p><p>"I'm fine Lils, don't worry about me," she replied smoothly with a faux smile.</p><p>Lily looked reluctant to agree, but did so anyway as she brought up their next class, asking what Faeryn thought they would be doing in charms later in the day.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Blonde Ravenclaw</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Remus gets an unpleasant surprise.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chapter 3</p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">─</span> <span class="s2">•~</span> <span class="s3">❉</span> <span class="s4">᯽</span> <span class="s3">❉</span> <span class="s2">~•</span> <span class="s1">─</span></p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">blonde ravenclaw </span>
</p>
<p class="p1"><span class="s1">─</span> <span class="s2">•~</span> <span class="s3">❉</span> <span class="s4">᯽</span> <span class="s3">❉</span> <span class="s2">~•</span> <span class="s1">─</span></p>
<p class="p1">Marlene was sitting across from the twins at dinner, mouth agape and eyes staring unbelievably at the food swapping taking place in front of her.</p>
<p>Remus was chewing a bite of his sandwich while plopping mashed potatoes onto his sister's plate. Faeryn was gulping down her pumpkin juice while moving everything around on Remus's plate to make room for the scoop of green beans she was about to give him. She made sure none of the food touched, he <em>hated</em> it when his food touched.</p>
<p>Faeryn set down her cup and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, clearing the small mustache that formed above her lip due to the drops of her drink that strayed away from her mouth. She reached for the sugar packet and tore it open using her teeth, and poured it into Remus's tea. She reached for a Lemon slice and squeezed 6 drops onto his drink, <em>precisely</em> 6. She sucked the rest out of the lemon and dropped it onto her plate lazily.</p>
<p>The twins continued to aid each other with their meals while exchanging no words at all. Faeryn would notice the residue of the green beans edging toward the sandwich on his plate and would swiftly move it away. Remus would notice a few drops from the lemon accumulating on her plate, he would it to alert her that there was still juice remaining. She would pick it up and suck the rest out without question.</p>
<p>"What the fuck?" Marlene exclaimed, looking around at her friends to see if anyone had the same reaction as her. The twins looked up at her, acting as if they were doing nothing out of the unusual.</p>
<p>"That's so creepy!" she said with a grin.</p>
<p>"What?" Faeryn asked, she wiped her mouth again, suddenly self-conscious at the thought of still having pumpkin juice on her mouth.</p>
<p>"You guys just- you guys just made each other's dinners without even talking!" she said exasperated.</p>
<p>Sirius chuckled and covered it up with a cough, clearing his throat he said, "Yeah, they do that."</p>
<p>She blinked unbelievably at him, "No! I would have noticed!" she said.</p>
<p>"Sorry Marls, but you can sometimes be very oblivious," Faeryn said with a smile.</p>
<p>She scoffed before laughed, "Twins are creepy," she said under her breath.</p>
<p>James was sat to Remus's left, he snorted at Peter, who was choking on his food, with tears running down his face.</p>
<p>James was laughing as he looked to his right to see Remus's reaction, but the latter didn't see what was playing out in front of him. James absentmindedly nudged his arm with his shoulder, unknowingly hitting the giant gash from the full moon a few days prior.</p>
<p>Remus hissed at the contact, he screwed his eyes shut. They popped open in worry when he heard a strangled "fuck" to his right and heard the clattering of a cup hitting the table.</p>
<p>Faeryn grumbled and frantically tried to pull the cup up the right way, trying to prevent any more of her drink from spilling onto the table.</p>
<p>Remus quietly waved his wand and cleaned the mess from the table, he flashed her a grin.</p>
<p>"Sorry," she mumbled downing the little liquid remaining in her cup. Remus furrowed his eyebrows.</p>
<p>"Don't be sorry, it's my fault," he said quietly, to prevent nosy ears from hearing.</p>
<p>Faeryn rolled her eyes, "No, it's mine for spilling the drink."</p>
<p>They were having a hushed argument, both visibly growing more frustrated with the other as the conversation became more heated.</p>
<p>Their friends surrounding them slowly took notice of the conversation that was getting louder at each word, both of them becoming more desperate to prove their point.</p>
<p>James, who did not notice that he had hurt Remus earlier, nudged him again, silently asking what was wrong.</p>
<p>Remus's eyes widened and he slapped his hand over his arm in pain as he held in a yell. Faeryn was more unfortunate and wasn't prepared for the feeling of boiling electricity running up her arm.</p>
<p>She dropped her fork, it banged against the wooden floor in between her feet. Her eyes screwed shut, "Holy fucking mother of Merlin!" she exclaimed in pain. She dropped her head onto the table to hide her screwed up face.</p>
<p>Remus felt the pressure on his forehead where Faeryn had slammed her head.</p>
<p>James, bless his soul, finally noticed he had accidentally caused harm to his friend, "Oh! Sorry Moony!" he said while rubbing the back of his neck, feeling horrible. The people around the table didn't pay much attention to the girl and her outburst, but James's eyes flickered to his friend's sister, eyes furrowing in confusion, <em>that was unusual</em>, he thought.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Remus felt like utter shit, the next full moon was coming near. His muscles were aching, and with every step he took he could feel the friction of his bones rubbing against each other. Soon they will be reduced to nothing but powder, he thought.</p>
<p>And so he made the decision to turn in early, standing up from his curled up spot on the sofa in front of the fireplace. He expected to go to bed and sleep through the pain. What he did not expect was to walk in on Sirius and some random blonde going at it like animals on Sirius's bed. He stood frozen in the doorway, it felt as if a bucket of ice water was poured over his head. Time stopped. And suddenly his chest burned, the contrast to his frozen limbs was enough to feel like his lungs were shattering.</p>
<p>He silently took a step back, and gently closed the door. He was numb, he could not think. He didn't process his feet bringing him back down to the common room, didn't process Faeryn asking why he didn't go to bed, didn't process his sister pulling into a hug, didn't process himself falling limp under her comforting hold, didn't process the silent tears streaming down his face.</p>
<p>He didn't know why it hurt so much.</p>
<p>He had realized he fancied Sirius at the beginning of the school year, he knew it was self-destructive, how could Sirius ever like a guy like him, a monster? He didn't deserve Sirius.</p>
<p>So he didn't know why it hurt so much, especially when he knew that nothing was going to grow from his one-sided feelings toward his best friend. He didn't know why his lungs were burning, or why he wanted to fall asleep and never wake up.</p>
<p>Or maybe he did know, and he was too upset to process it.</p>
<p>He was glad when Faeryn didn't ask any questions, and just rubbed his back until he fell asleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>It was worse when he woke up, his bones were burning, not only from the full moon, but the unnatural position he was situated in on the couch. He was sure Faeryn felt the pain too, and that only made him feel worse.</p>
<p>The initial shock had worn off, he was able to pick through the 6 seconds of torment he saw, was able to see Sirius's face, his lips red and swollen, parted in pleasure. <em>Remus</em> wanted to be the reason for Sirius to feel that way. It was pure agony knowing he never would.</p>
<p>He slowly sat up, making sure not to wake his sister, wincing at the strain it put on his limbs.</p>
<p>"Hey, moony." He jumped at the sudden voice, snapping his head around to see who spoke. He was quite relieved when he realized it was Faeryn.</p>
<p>"Morning, Fae," he whispered, flashing her a smile. "Sorry in advance, the moons gonna suck tonight," he whispered, chuckling at himself to mask the pain.</p>
<p>"I hate to ask, but what happened?" she asked gently, she hoped she wasn't crossing any boundaries.</p>
<p>"Nothing drastic, I'm not sure why I reacted the way I did. Just found out the person I liked had feelings for another person, that's all. Don't make it a big deal." he flashed her another smile and stood up to make his way to breakfast.</p>
<p>Right as he was about to step through the portrait hole he heard her call out "I love you!"</p>
<p>He smiled to himself, "I love you too," He replied and took the final step out of the portrait hole.</p>
<p>Faeryn stayed in the common room for far longer than she should have, but she wanted to wait for one of the boys to come out so she could let them know not to pry.</p>
<p>But when a blonde Ravenclaw came rushing guiltily out of their room she furrowed her eyebrows. Remus liked her? She was gorgeous, and from the classes she shared with the girl, Faeryn knew the girl was kind. But she just didn't seem his type in any way.</p>
<p>Sirius came strutting down the stairs with a sloppy grin stuck on his face.</p>
<p>"Oh," she exclaimed to herself.</p>
<p>"<em>Oh!</em>" she yelled, catching the attention of Sirius, who raised an eyebrow at her unusual behavior.</p>
<p>"Fuck okay, uh. Sirius, <em>please</em> don't come to breakfast!" She frantically stood up and rushed out of the common room. Leaving the Ravenclaw and Sirius standing confused at the bottom of the stairs.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Torment</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sirius, James, and Pete find out a secret about Faeryn.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chapter 4</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>torment</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>Faeryn rushed down the moving stairs, taking quick steps to the great hall. She didn't think about any of the nameless faces she was passing in the hallway. The only person who mattered was Remus. (And selfishly, herself. She has to go through the pain of the full moons, too.)</p>
<p>Once she reached the double doors of the great hall she quickly pushed them open and rushed in, plopping down next to Remus, who had his hand halfway to his mouth with a waffle on his fork. She didn't notice James and Peter sitting across from him.</p>
<p>"Remus, please, please, <em>please</em> don't let it bother you. It was a mindless hookup and I know the full moons tonight and I don't want you to stress yourself out and— <em>kill</em> yourself or something. And I hate to pull this card, I absolutely <em>loathe</em> the idea of using it against you, but if you are worried about this tonight you <em>know</em> how much it's gonna hurt me too. So please, <em>please</em>, just know she didn't mean anything. You still have a chance, moony. So please, if not for yourself, for me, don't worry about it." she said frantically.</p>
<p>Remus blinked, and set his fork back on his plate, he opened his mouth to reply. "No, no im not done. I know that I'm asking you too much and that you can't control your feelings but Remus, <em>please</em>. The last moon was so bad, I can't do this knowing you might end up dead." she begged.</p>
<p>His mouth was agape, he wasn't focused on anything but the fact that she didn't mention anything about his feelings being about a <em>boy</em>. He was scared she wasn't going to love him anymore, he was scared he was going to lose her, too.</p>
<p>He shook his head to bring his thoughts back in focus, "uh, yeah, okay. I'll try?" he said, flustered.</p>
<p>She smiled and kissed him on the cheek.</p>
<p>James cleared his throat across the table to alert her of their presence. Her eyes snapped to his.</p>
<p>"Oh— uh, hi boys," she said with an embarrassed smile.</p>
<p>She turned back to Remus, lowering her voice so that the other two boys couldn't hear. "I asked him not to come to breakfast, I can help keep him away from you if you need some time," she whispered.</p>
<p>He smiled lightly to himself, "Yeah, I'd appreciate that." he nodded.</p>
<p>She patted him on the shoulder and stood up to go back to the common room.</p>
<p>James and Peter were sat stunned across the table, mouths agape.</p>
<p>Remus scratched the back of his neck sheepishly, his cheeks reddening from embarrassment.</p>
<p>"Would you believe me if I said she was having boy problems?" he asked, more to himself than the other boys.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Remus tried, he <em>really</em> did. But he could not stop seeing the image of <em>him</em> with that girl. The thought followed him everywhere, every time he closed his eyes. It was as if his own existence was created just to torment him.</p>
<p>He hated that he couldn't forget about it, because he knew that Faeryn was going to suffer in return.</p>
<p>He knew he looked like shit, with bags under his eyes, pale and skinny. But usually Fae managed better than him, she was usually able to stand tall and mask the aches she felt, charm the eyebags away.</p>
<p>But when he walked into Ancient Runes, he saw her slumped over on her desk, eyes closed and fingers twitching. He felt <em>horrible</em> for being the cause of her pain.</p>
<p>Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if he <em>did</em> end up dead after the full moon tonight. She wouldn't have to go through transformations every month, and the marauders wouldn't have to spend so much of their time trying to become animagi for him. (No matter how many times he told them no, they refused to stop their research.)</p>
<p>Yeah, they would be sad for a bit. But they would get over it, he's just a burden, someone for them to pity. Maybe it would just be better for everyone if he wasn't here anymore.</p>
<p>He plopped down next to Faeryn with a frown, she sat up when she realized his presence. She beamed up at him and whispered, "So, how long have you known?"</p>
<p>He furrowed his eyebrows.</p>
<p>She rolled her eyes at his obliviousness, "That you liked guys, bloody <em>hell</em> you're an idiot." she said with a slight smile to show she wasn't actually being rude.</p>
<p>"Oh! Uh— I figured out last year, I think," he said, taking out his needed books and supplies for the upcoming class.</p>
<p>She smiled at him, "It took you a long time!" she laughed and leaned closer to him.</p>
<p>"I had my first crush on a girl in second year," she whispered and sat back in her chair nonchalantly.</p>
<p>Remus's eyes popped wide. "What?!" he exclaimed loudly, causing a few heads to turn his direction.</p>
<p>Faeryn scowled at him and punched his arm.</p>
<p>"Be quiet!" she whispered.</p>
<p>"Ow! What the hell!" he growled back while dramatically rubbing his upper arm.</p>
<p>She scoffed, "That didn't hurt, you git."</p>
<p>He crossed his arms over his chest dramatically, "Oh yeah? How would you know?" he asked.</p>
<p>She gaped at him in bewilderment.</p>
<p><em>Oh</em>.</p>
<p>They burst out into laughter, causing more heads to turn their way.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Faeryn was in the boys' dorm room, pacing back and forth as the 3 boys stared at her confused.</p>
<p>Her eyes kept glancing out the window to check where the moon was, her limbs started tingling, alerting the transformation was about to take place.</p>
<p>Lily was unable to be with her tonight, it was Faeryn's first night in 2 years without her. And the connection between Faeryn and her brother had grown <em>tremendously</em> since she last had to go through transformations by herself.</p>
<p>Lily had to attend a prefect's sleepover with the other prefect girls, she had tried to get out of it, but it was required for her to be there.</p>
<p>So she could either thrash around in her bed alone or go to the boys' dorms and have them deal with it.</p>
<p>She figured since Sirius was one of the reasons tonight was going to be so bad, even though he was unaware of that fact, he deserved to be the one to help her. She also figured it was time they knew about the unexplainable connection between their best friend and his twin.</p>
<p>She stopped pacing misstep, and waved her wand, locking the door and setting a silencing spell. This caused the boys to become even more confused.</p>
<p>"Okay so, um" she began, plopping onto Remus's empty bed.</p>
<p>She looked up at the boys, "this might be kinda traumatizing, uh." their eyes widened.</p>
<p>Her toes started to go numb, her vision flickering in and out.</p>
<p>"So here's some explanation in advance, I don't have much time," she said frantically, cradling her head in her hand due to the horrible burning behind her eyelids.</p>
<p>"Ths is about to be really bad, really, <em>really</em> bad. Just know I'm gonna be fine." she nodded at them, holding in her sounds of pain as her toes began to burn.</p>
<p>The three boys were looking at her with nervous anticipation, waiting for her to elaborate on the cryptic sentences.</p>
<p>She waited as long as she could, before finally forcing out her words.</p>
<p>"I feel all of Remus's Transformations, <em>all</em> of it," she said before a string of curses fell from her mouth, and she felt the burning in her gums, indicating Remus's teeth were growing. The transformation had started.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Sea of Suffering</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The twins experience their worst moon yet.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chapter 5</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>sea of suffering</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>Faeryn thought nothing could get worse than the pain of the last transformation.</p>
<p>She was so wrong.</p>
<p>The last full moon was <em>nothing</em> compared to the horrible agony she was feeling.</p>
<p>Absolutely no words could get close to explaining the torture she was experiencing.</p>
<p>It felt as if all of her limbs were being torn off one by one, being sliced into thin slices of her flesh. It felt as if thousands of knives were being pushed into every separate nerve simultaneously. It felt as if thousands of claws were tearing her up from the inside trying to escape.</p>
<p>She was hyper-aware of the feeling of all her bones shattering, she could feel every stray piece that was missing from where they should be. The burn of her nerves splitting as her skin was pulled from her muscles.</p>
<p>She was yelling, so loud, so loud to the point that she could not scream anymore, and all that was coming out of her mouth was strangled gasps and rasps.</p>
<p>The pain was so bad, that to Faeryn, she didn't even exist to process anything. To Faeryn, the only aspect of life she could feel was the <em>pain</em>.</p>
<p>She couldn't process the worried voices of her brother's 3 best friends, couldn't process the frantic hands running through her hair, or rubbing her back soothingly. She couldn't process the cold rag placed on her forehead.</p>
<p>The only thing she could process was the pain, the <em>misery</em>, the <em>agony</em>, the <em>suffering</em>, the <em>anguish</em>.</p>
<p>Until she couldn't process anything at all, and her body had finally shut down from the overload of pain. And she was passed out in the worried arms of Sirius and James.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Remus woke up in the hospital wing with a huge gasp of air.</p>
<p>His mind was blank, he could only think of the pain. But he knew there was something wrong, he knew he needed to do <em>something</em>.</p>
<p>It took all of his will power to think, he tried to remember what happened last night, but all that he could remember was bits and pieces of black and white, the smell of metallic blood, his blood.</p>
<p>And, oh.</p>
<p><em>Oh</em>.</p>
<p>Faeryn.</p>
<p>He felt their connection snap last night, it was the last second before he lost his mind to the wolf, the last possible second of pain for her. And he felt the connection between the two of them go cold as if it was never there in the first place.</p>
<p>He sat up in his bed, yelling out in horrible pain at all the gashes throughout his body, the deepest one on his chest.</p>
<p>He assumed it was the wolf worrying about the lack of nerve activity, clawing around to try and get it back.</p>
<p>His pained cry alerted madam Pomfrey, who quickly pulled back his curtains to reveal her face pale with worry.</p>
<p>"Remus! lie back down, you are in no condition to be sitting upright!" she said, gently ushering his head back onto his pillow.</p>
<p>He winced at the constricting of his wounds as he moved.</p>
<p>"Wheres Faeryn? Is she okay? What happened to her?" he asked frantically, coughing when he felt the dryness of his throat from screaming the prior night.</p>
<p>"No need to worry, she did pass out last night but everything is fine. She is just resting. Which is what you need to do, too. Get some rest." She tried to say sternly, but couldn't mask the feeling of motherly instinct on her face.</p>
<p>"No! I cant feel her anymore! Why can't I feel her anymore?!" he said, through clenched teeth due to the pain in his chest.</p>
<p>"It will be fine, Remus. It should come back when she wakes up," she said with a reassuring smile.</p>
<p>It did nothing to reassure Remus, though. A feeling of dread was building up in his stomach, distracting him from all his other thoughts and senses.</p>
<p>This was all his fault. What if she never wakes up? He would never be able to live with himself.</p>
<p>"Morning, poppy!" he heard the voice of Sirius yell. His feeling of dread doubled, he didn't think he could see <em>him</em> right now.</p>
<p>He heard a few hushed whispers from behind the curtain, an angry Madam Pomfrey, and the begging of the 3 other marauders, and then he heard the angriness in her voice melt into defeat, and then she gently asked "is it okay if the boys come in?"</p>
<p>"Pete can come in," he said quietly.</p>
<p>Then he saw the flustered face of Pete peek from behind the curtain, and he shyly placed a chocolate bar on the nightstand next to the bed.</p>
<p>Remus flashed him a pained smile before the exhaustion took over him, and he fell asleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>He was lost in the blackness of sleep, unthinking, unseeing.</p>
<p>But then he felt an electric shock in his chest.</p>
<p>Faeryn.</p>
<p>He popped up frantically in his bed, ignoring the throbs of pain it sent through his limbs.</p>
<p>"She's awake!" he exclaimed, right at the same time that the smooth voice of Lily Evans said the same thing from the bed next to him.</p>
<p>He heard the curtain opening to his left, and sighed in relief, knowing his sister was going to be okay.</p>
<p>"Moony, you shouldn't be sitting up," said James to his right, as he felt hands force him into a laying position.</p>
<p>Remus didn't think anything of it until he realized he never asked for James. If James was in here, was <em>he</em> too?</p>
<p>Remus didn't have very much time to ponder that question, when he heard the energetic voice of the one and only Sirius Black to his left, "hey, Moony. Long time no see."</p>
<p>Remus winced, just the sound of his voice invoked so much heartache. He felt like a sad little 12-year old that had no control of his emotions.</p>
<p>He couldn't force himself to open his eyes, he kept them screwed shut. Half of him wanted to open his eyes to see the captivating grey eyes staring back at him, the perfect wavy hair falling around his face, the sharpness of his jawline. He wanted to see the beauty and grace that was Sirius Black. Even if it <em>tormented</em> him.</p>
<p>But he kept his eyes shut. And tried to force himself to fall back asleep.</p>
<p>The task was too difficult for him when he heard the strangled sounds that were coming from the bed to his left. He could hear that she was trying not to make any sound, probably an attempt to not worry Remus.</p>
<p>And he felt so selfish, so selfish that he couldn't push his childish feelings for the boy he fancied to the back of his mind. At least for <em>one</em> night. And as a result, he caused the one light of his life pain, he caused her so much pain that her body <em>shut down. </em></p>
<p>And she had asked him, she had asked him to not worry about it. And he was still selfish and decided to wallow in self-pity, he allowed himself to drown. Which wouldn't have been a problem if he was to drown alone. But he was not alone in the sea of suffering, he was tied to Faeryn. And she was clawing at the ropes trying to break free to get a breath of fresh air, and all he was doing was pulling her down with him.</p>
<p>He was drowning, and instead of trying to swim to the surface, he grabbed onto her and pulled her down too.</p>
<p>And she suffered for it.</p>
<p>And he knew it, he knew he shouldn't be so selfish and just get over his little crush. But it still burned when he spoke to him.</p>
<p>"Sirius Black!" he heard the raspy scream of Faeryn.</p>
<p>"Get your ass in here right now and leave Remus alone!" she yelled, right before falling into a coughing fit from the strain of her voice.</p>
<p>And as usual, <em>she</em> was the one to claw him up to the surface. She was the one to give him his breath back.</p>
<p>Remus kept his eyes closed as Sirius walked out, only opening them after he heard the scraping of the curtain indicating that Sirius had slid it closed.</p>
<p>He saw the swaying of the hanging fabric, and he felt so weak when he thought about the fact that a mere second earlier, <em>his</em> Sirius Black had been standing there.</p>
<p>Though, Sirius Black wasn't really <em>his</em>. Sirius Black would <em>never</em> be his.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Sorry Professor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Faeryn and co. announce the quidditch game.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chapter 6</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>sorry professor</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>McGonagall was going to regret her decision for the rest of her life.</p>
<p>She sat staring wide-eyed at the three girls who had their wands positioned at their throats, the noses were red from the cold, voices raspy from yelling.</p>
<p>She thought picking two prefects and a Lupin would insure her an unbiased, mature commentary of the quidditch game.</p>
<p>McGonagal wasn't wrong often, but she was quite wrong about that.</p>
<p>The raspy voice of Rowan Thatcher was heard, echoing off of the stands around the quidditch pitch.</p>
<p>"Bloody hell! Black, the good one, has practically knocked the other Black, the bad one, off of his broom! Good job on that— sorry Professor— maybe not the smartest play, Sirius, nice try though!" she boomed.</p>
<p>"Holy mother of Merlin! Gryffindor chaser Mckinnon has the quaffle is headed for the point! Oh— watch out! Yes! Holy shit shoot it, Marlene! YES! Point for Gryffindor!" Lily roared, earning a bewildered look form professor McGonagall at her out of character cursing.</p>
<p>"Shit! Sorry professor— no don't take the mic! Sorry, anyway— it seems Slytherin seeker Regulus Black has spotted the snitch and is hurdling toward it, yay." Faeryn said with a monotone voice, not excited at all.</p>
<p>"Anderson you dumbass! Go for the snitch!" Faeryn yelped after a moment of him being unresponsive, causing the boy to look up and race toward the snitch in surprise.</p>
<p>"Ladies and Gents! And anyone else— if Gryffindor seeker Anderson catches the snitch it's a win for Gryffindor" Lily announced, causing the yells in the sections to roar louder, excluding Slytherin, who unfortunately didn't have the support from the other houses. House prejudice would be the death of them.</p>
<p>"It's neck and neck! Oh! Anderson has taken the lead! So close! Oh. Well, seems the snitch got away, maybe next time, boys." Rowan said unenthusiastically.</p>
<p>"And a bludger is hurdling toward— HOLY SHIT! Sorry, professor— Gryffindors very own James Potter has scored yet another point! Even if Black catches the snitch now Gryffindor would win! Keep it up, Potter!" Faeryn yelled.</p>
<p>"Speaking of the snitch, Anderson has spotted it! The two rival seekers are again neck and neck! Black almost has it! Almost— Yes! Anderson has snatched it anyway! Gryffindor takes the win!" Rowan roared, her voice getting drowned out by the loud cries from the stands.</p>
<p>The three girls were all grinning at the win until suddenly a very stern voice snatched the grins from their faces.</p>
<p>"Ladies! I expected better from you! Detention for the next week!" Mcgonangal said sternly, but once she turned away she let the grin begging to be showed take over her face.</p>
<p>The three girls ran down to wait outside of the Locker rooms.</p>
<p>The three Gryffindors came waltzing out of the door with identical smiles of glee on their faces. All of their cheeks were windburned, and Sirius and Marlene had stray strands sticking out from their ponytails. James's hair was more unkempt than usual, especially when he ran his hand through it to mess it up even more.</p>
<p>The rest of the team came strolling out after them, cheering with wide grins on their faces, while they held up their seeker, Anderson, above their heads.</p>
<p>"Party in the common room tonight!" One of the boys on the team yelled joyfully.</p>
<p>Faeryn had a sloppy grin on her face, cheeks, and nose red from the cold wind, but she couldn't care less.</p>
<p>It was right between the full moons, the sweet spot before her muscles started to ache more and more each day. And although she just got detention for the next week, she was beyond happy. She was already looking forward to the party set to be held in the Gryffindor common room later that day.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The four girls were beaming with excitement. They were dancing to the muffled sound of muggle music seeping through their door as they got ready for the party taking place down the stairs.</p>
<p>Lily had a knee-length black skirt and a red sweater on, she had her hair in a double braid. Mary was sporting a skirt as well, though much shorter than Lily's, and a red tank top, perfectly contrasting with her coffee-colored skin.</p>
<p>Marlene had her hair in messy double braids and was wearing tight bell-bottom jeans and a tight top. Last, but definitely not least, Faeryn was wearing a short plated, plaid skirt. The top of her cream-colored collared shirt peeking out from the hole of one of Remus's jumpers.</p>
<p>It was too cold to be in short sleeves, she wasn't sure how Marlene and mary did it.</p>
<p>Her hair was thrown half-heartedly into a half up-half down updo.</p>
<p>The girls all went around doing each other's makeup, and all checked over each other before finally stepping out of their room and into the crowded common room.</p>
<p>They walked down the stairs and made their way to where they saw the four marauders in a heated conversation.</p>
<p>When the four girls met up with the four boys they all froze and turned with wide eyes to look at all the girls.</p>
<p>They weren't in anything crazy or scandalous, the boys were just dramatic.</p>
<p>Sirius's eyes were practically popping out of his head as he looked at Marlene, Remus glanced over at him, and Faeryns eyes softened in understanding.</p>
<p>Peter was staring at Mary, mouth wide open. Mary rolled her eyes and turned to look at Remus, who was staring disapprovingly at his sister.</p>
<p>James was frozen, his cup had almost fallen from his hand as he looked over Faeryn surprised, he had never looked at her as anything more than Remus's sister. That was his first mistake, she was absolutely <em>gorgeous</em>.</p>
<p>His second mistake was gaping at her so openly, because in return he got a hard smack on the back of his head from Remus.</p>
<p>"No," Remus growled before setting down his drink and gripping Faeryns arm, trying to drag her back to his dorm to change.</p>
<p>"Moony! It's not even a bad outfit! I'm in a sweater for Merlin's sake!" she said, digging her heels into the ground, preventing him from taking her any further.</p>
<p>"All of the boys are gonna be staring at you! Your skirt is too short!" he exclaimed.</p>
<p>"It's fine, Remus," she grumbled before an idea popped in her head and she smirked.</p>
<p>She lowered her voice, "You look good. Go seduce your man, Moony. I'm gonna go get a drink." she turned, but not before seeing his face heat up.</p>
<p>She walked over to where the drinks were splayed randomly on the coffee table, noticing James was pouring himself a drink as well.</p>
<p>"Potter." she nodded at him.</p>
<p>He smiled slightly, "Lupin." he nodded back.</p>
<p>"You look nice," he said with a shy smile.</p>
<p>Faeryn smiled and took in his outfit, he was wearing black trousers and a button-up shirt, the top few buttons were opened.</p>
<p>She looked him up and down and smirked, "You look hot, Potter." she replied before turning and making her way back to her dorm mates with her drink.</p>
<p>His eyes widened and his face warmed up before he blinked it away and walked back to the other marauders.</p>
<p>The four boys spent their night getting progressively more intoxicated but also keeping an eye on the four girls they had met up with earlier, to make sure they get didn't into any unwanted trouble.</p>
<p>Lily and Rowan were smiling at each other, dancing wildly to the loud music. Marlene was dancing against a Hufflepuff, who had long brown hair, and lipstick smudged on her lips. Mary was playing a drinking game with some fellow Gryffindors, smiling and having a good time.</p>
<p>James's heart dropped a bit when he saw Faeryn snogging a Ravenclaw girl, for reasons unknown to him. But she looked happy as she pulled away.</p>
<p>He continued to watch her as she found her friends and danced and laughed with them. He smiled slightly when she threw her head back in laughter, cheeks flushed from the alcohol. As long as the girls were happy, he was having a good time.</p>
<p>James looked back at the boys, only now noticing that Remus and Sirius had disappeared, and he was left only with Peter, who was looking nervous and uncomfortable. He stayed with him to make sure he was okay.</p>
<p>Remus had managed to drag Sirius back up to their dorm, the two were considerably tipsy, having a conversation with each other, dying with laughter.</p>
<p>Somehow the two were found standing in front of each other, so close in proximity that Remus could smell the pine from Sirius's cologne, and Sirius could smell the natural smell of rain radiating off of Remus. It was more intoxicating than the alcohol.</p>
<p>In a moment too fast for either of them to process, Sirius had grabbed a hold of Remus's collar, pulling him flush against him and slamming his lips into his.</p>
<p>It took a moment for Remus to realize what had happened, his eyes widened before fluttering shut, and he leaned into the boy in front of him.</p>
<p>He responded eagerly, this is what he had been <em>waiting</em> for, and it was even more perfect than he could have imagined. Everything about it was <em>perfect</em>, his lips fit into his own like a puzzle piece. There was burning electricity in the chest.</p>
<p>And Sirius wanted it too, he was moving his lips against his with such passion, he couldn't even explain the euphoria he was in.</p>
<p>Remus could hear the beating of Sirius's heart, he could hear it speed up. It caused him to pull Sirius impossibly closer to him.</p>
<p>It was <em>perfect</em>.</p>
<p>And then the door slammed open and they scrambled away from each other with wide eyes.</p>
<p>And standing in the door were a wide eyed Pete and James, and behind them were the bored faces of Marlene, Mary, Faeryn, Lily, and Rowan.</p>
<p>Faeryn smiled when she realized what had been taking place. Rowan rolled her eyes and pushed through the two flabbergasted boys.</p>
<p>Marlene followed Rowan and grinned, "Merlin! We really are just a bunch of hopeless gays." she chuckled, Lily rolled her eyes.</p>
<p>The other girls followed them in, the four boys were sat frozen in the same spot.</p>
<p>"Who wants to play veritaserum or dare?" exclaimed an excited Faeryn, ignoring the look of bewilderment on all four of the boys faces.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Morse Code</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Remus feels something during class.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chapter 7</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>morse code</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>
  <strong>tw: mentions of self-harm. </strong>
</p>
<p>Faeryn groaned in pain and cradled her head, shielding her eyes from the light shining through the window of the common room.</p>
<p>"Urghh, shut up," she grumbled, turning over the press her head into the red couch cushion. Her head was pounding, and she was sure if she stood up she would double over and puke out all of her internal organs.</p>
<p>"Rise and shine, you mother fuckers!" Roared Marlene, way too cheerful for this time of day. She smacked the back of Faryns head, eliciting yelps from both her and Remus, who was splayed on the ground across the room.</p>
<p>Faeryn had very little recollection of the last night and wanted nothing more than to fall back asleep and never wake up again. <em>Too tired. </em></p>
<p>She felt someone shifting under her legs, just a second ago she was too dazed to notice her legs were even on someone. She hesitantly pried open her eyes, smiling when she realized it was the girl she had kissed the previous night.</p>
<p>She slowly lifted her head, turning to face the girl. "Morning," she said groggily, wincing when she realized how unattractive her voice sounded. The girl smiled back.</p>
<p>"Hi," she said with a small smile, swiping her bangs out from her eyes. Holding her hand over her mouth as she yawned.</p>
<p>Faeryn was unsure how she ended up back in the common room, she last remembered playing a very exposing game of 'veritaserum or dare' but had no memory of anything after that.</p>
<p>The girl awkwardly scratched her neck and cleared her throat, "So uh, I feel bad asking this but, what's your name?" her face warmed up in embarrassment.</p>
<p>Faeryn inwardly sighed in relief, for she had no idea what the Ravenclaws name was, either. She flashed her a reassuring smile, "Faeryn Lupin. You?" she asked, sitting up further and taking her legs off of the other girl's thighs.</p>
<p>The girl visibly relaxed, chuckling a little to herself, "Kris Welch, nice to 'meet' you."</p>
<p>Kris glanced at the clock, jumping up when she saw the time. She looked back at Faeryn with wide eyes, cheeks flushing pink. "So, I know Hogsmeade isn't for another few weeks, but would you maybe want to go with me?" she asked.</p>
<p>Faeryn beamed at her, "Of course!" she said with a big girn on her face.</p>
<p>Kris grinned back, "Great! I should probably get back to Ravenclaw Tower, so... see you later I guess." she smiled, and wobbled out of the portrait hole.</p>
<p>She rolled her eyes when Sirius wolf-whistled, flashing her middle finger and turning her face back into the cushion of the couch.</p>
<p>James watched the whole encounter with an unexplainable knot in his stomach. Must be the hangover, he thought.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Remus was freaking out.</p>
<p>He <em>kissed</em> Sirius Black last night. Full-on <em>snogged</em> him.</p>
<p>And that caused a large group of butterflies to find their home in his stomach.</p>
<p>And then the butterflies were viciously ripped apart and killed by one sentence that flowed out of the same mouth he had kissed only hours prior.</p>
<p>"I don't even remember anything that happened after that drinking game I played." Sirius groaned.</p>
<p>Sirius was lying, of course. In fact, he painfully remembered everything that happened last night, in a scary amount of detail.</p>
<p>Sirius was sure that Remus only kissed him due to the heavy amount of alcohol in his system, and he was not about to embarrass himself if Remus didn't remember what had happened between them in their dorm room.</p>
<p>So when Remus grumbled that he aswell, did "not remember what the hell happened last night." either, Sirius was tremendously relieved.</p>
<p>On the other hand, Remus felt like he was going to throw up, and not just from the alcohol.</p>
<p>Remus thought he should be glad, because Sirius was as viciously intoxicated as he was, and the kiss was probably in the moment, and a drunken mistake. So Remus pushed down his negative thoughts, which he noticed he was doing quite often these days, and groggily walked back to the dorm room.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The day had been going fantastic for Faeryn, she had been giddy and smiling all throughout her classes, and was even in a good mood while serving her detention with Professor McGonagall before dinner.</p>
<p>But one thing Faeryn had noticed about her life, is that it seemed to be physically impossible to have a good day. Because at dinner an owl plopped down next to her plate and delivered her a letter,</p>
<p>from her <em>father</em>.</p>
<p>And her stomach dropped right as she saw the sharp handwriting of her father on the back of the envelope, and then she was angrily playing tug of war with the owl that had tried to steal her chicken wing.</p>
<p>"You cannibal! Give it back!" she grumbled, and everyone around her laughed. Excluding Remus, who was staring pale-faced at the letter the owl had lazily dropped next to Faeryn's plate.</p>
<p>Remus mindlessly dug his fingernails into his thigh, catching the attention of Faeryn, who looked at him confused before she followed his line of sight to the letter.</p>
<p>Lyall Lupin was probably more physical than he should be with his children— no it's not <em>abuse</em>. Some may call it that, but in Remus and Faeryn's mind, it was <em>not</em>.</p>
<p>But only the two siblings knew about what went on behind the closed doors of the Lupin home.</p>
<p>Faeryn hated her father with all her power, but Remus hated him more. It seemed anything the boy did earned a slap on the face, or with spit on his cheek, or even just getting verbally cursed at.</p>
<p>
  <em>Monster. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Worthless. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Good for nothing half-breed. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Should have died along with your mother. </em>
</p>
<p>So the twins <em>hated</em> him. And Faeryn was <em>not</em> looking forward to what was in the letter.</p>
<p>She decided not to open it until she was in the comfort of her bed, and then once she had gotten there she decided not the open it until morning, and then decided not to open it until her free period later that day.</p>
<p>And she finally snapped and tore open the letter, the knot in her stomach growing more and more with each word that she absorbed.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Remus jumped in his seat, catching the attention of James who raised his eyebrow at the boy.</p>
<p>Remus shook his head, implying for the boy to just leave it.</p>
<p>But then Remus felt it again, a long burn on his hip. He could feel the burning heat radiating from the sting on his side.</p>
<p>He dropped his hand to rub it with furrowed eyebrows.</p>
<p>And then he felt it again, and the burn was more prominent, and he hissed slightly at the pain.</p>
<p>And again.</p>
<p>And again.</p>
<p>And <em>again</em>.</p>
<p>By now he was inwardly panicking because he knew <em>exactly</em> what was going on. The only thing he could think of was digging his nails into his palm, in a specific pattern.</p>
<p>Press, release. Press, release. Press, release.</p>
<p>Pause.</p>
<p>Press and hold.</p>
<p>Pause.</p>
<p>Press and hold. Press and hold. Press and hold.</p>
<p>Pause.</p>
<p>Press, release. Press and hold. Press and hold. Press, release.</p>
<p>'STOP' in morse code.</p>
<p>The twins had learned it in 1st year when they really began to understand the pain they shared, and had frequently communicated through digging their nails into random points along their body.</p>
<p>By the time Remus was done he had small beads of blood rolling down his wrist and staining the sleeves of his sweater.</p>
<p>He knew what had happened, Faeryn had read the letter.</p>
<p>But what baffled Remus was that she hadn't self-harmed for <em>years</em>, knowing that Remus could feel it too.</p>
<p>So if she had resorted to this, the letter had to have been really bad. <em>Really</em> bad.</p>
<p>And despite his efforts, he felt the sting on his other hip. He dragged in a huge intake of breath, there were 2 minutes left of class. By now it was painfully obvious to James that <em>something</em> was wrong.</p>
<p>Remus was very controlled, he could be having a panic attack and you would hardly be able to tell. But he was nervously tapping his finger on the desk, bouncing his leg up and down in a frenzy. His eyes kept darting from Professor Binns to his watch.</p>
<p>And so when Binns dismissed the class, Remus practically bolted out the door. James was right on his tail, verbally asking what was wrong, and getting no response.</p>
<p>When they reached the portrait of the Fat lady he practically screamed the password and darted to the bottom of the girls' stairs.</p>
<p>When Remus finally spoke to the confused boy, James just furrowed his eyebrows.</p>
<p>"Have you guys finally become animagus?" he asked, frantically looking around the room for other people, relieved when it was empty.</p>
<p>"Uh, Yeah? What's wrong, Moony?" James asked concerned. He watched as Remus jumped and looked at his wrist horrified.</p>
<p>"Transform right now," he demanded, eyes pleading.</p>
<p>"What? But we wanted it to be a surprise what forms we took." James pouted.</p>
<p>"I don't care! What form do you take?" he demanded again.</p>
<p>"A stag," he whispered, hardly audible to normal ears. Right now, Remus was thankful for the heightened senses that came along with being a werewolf.</p>
<p>"Change right now. I'm getting on your back and we are going up these stairs." he gestured in front of him.</p>
<p>James blanched, "What? No! What if we get caught!?" he asked, knowing that he could end up in Azkaban. James was perfectly content with getting detentions, but <em>Azkaban</em>? No way.</p>
<p>Remus flinched again, tightly gripping his wrist.</p>
<p>"James! Do it!" he said, and James was sure he saw his eyes flash fully gold.</p>
<p>He held his hands up in surrender and closed his eyes, focusing on melting into his animagus form.</p>
<p>When he opened his eyes, everything was in black and white, and he distantly felt Remus climb onto his back.</p>
<p>"Go!" he demanded,</p>
<p>
  <em>Moony friend. Prongs listen to Moony. Prongs go. </em>
</p>
<p>The next thing he knew he was shrinking back to James, his heart was beating fast and he was breathing heavy. It still took a lot of effort for him to successfully turn fully into Prongs.</p>
<p>Remus was banging on the door, and when he got no response he whipped out his wand, pointing it toward the door handle and whispering "alohamora."</p>
<p>James heard the lock click open, and he hardly had any time to process what was going on before the door was swung open and Remus was darting to the bathroom door.</p>
<p>The boy frantically repeated his spell from earlier.</p>
<p>James's eyes widened, "Rem I don't think—"</p>
<p>He was cut off when Remus threw the door open.</p>
<p>James froze, eyes widening as he took in the scene in front of him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Unseeing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>James and Remus read Lyalls letter.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chapter 8</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>unseeing</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>
  <strong>tw: suicide attempt &amp; suicidal thoughts</strong>
</p>
<p>James inhaled a big breath of air, he was frozen, stuck in the moment when the door flung open. Stuck in the moment he saw <em>her</em>, weakly sitting against the side of the bathtub. Stuck in the moment he saw the light slowly fade from her eyes.</p>
<p>And that moment seemed to drag on, for hours, James wasn't sure just how long he had stood there as Remus frantically rushed to her side. He wasn't sure how long he watched the blood around her continue to pool and grow in size.</p>
<p>James was fairly sure this was a dream, because Faeryn can't be dying. That's simply not possible.</p>
<p>He was sure it was just a terrible nightmare when he watched himself run the help Remus, he felt so relieved when he was viewing the scene from the corner of the room. Because that meant it wasn't real, that it wasn't happening.</p>
<p>This was not happening.</p>
<p>He watched from the top corner of the room as Remus pulled up her skirt, watched as he wrapped his shirt around her waist to clot the blood seeping from her hips.</p>
<p>He watched himself rip up his shirt and tie it around her wrists, he watched as the redness started to seep into the cream-colored shirt around her forearms. A beautiful contrast of color, blending together to form an unflattering brown muddy color. Though he supposes any color of blood was unflattering if you weren't supposed to be seeing it, if it was supposed to be inside her.</p>
<p>James did not like this dream one bit, it felt too real.</p>
<p>Even though he wasn't seeing from his eyes, he was almost certain he could smell the metally tang of blood.</p>
<p>This dream was too realistic, he wanted to wake up.</p>
<p>Wake up.</p>
<p>Wake <em>up</em>.</p>
<p>
  <em>Wake up. </em>
</p>
<p>His eyes snapped open, except he did not awake in the safety and warmth of his bed. He awoke on the floor next to Faeryn.</p>
<p>Oh <em>god</em>.</p>
<p>It wasn't a dream.</p>
<p>Suddenly his hand slipped into his pocket, and he slipped out the intricately engraved mirror he always had with him.</p>
<p>"Sirius!" he yelled into the mirror, looking at his reflection, forehead covered with blood, glasses askew. He watched as his reflection faded into the worried face of Sirius Black.</p>
<p>"What the hell happened?" he asked, highly concerned at the sight of red dripping on his best mate's forehead.</p>
<p>"Sirius go get Madam Pomfrey, tell her to come to the Gryffindor girls bathroom, it's an emergency," he said frantically, setting the mirror face-up on the counter so he could still talk to Sirius.</p>
<p>"On my way right now. What the hell happened?" he asked, voice shaky with fear.</p>
<p>"Just hurr—" James was cut off.</p>
<p>"No— jus' let me go, jus' stop." Faeryn slurred, attempting to shove them off of her.</p>
<p>"Fae?" asked Sirius through the mirror.</p>
<p>"Fae, it's James and Remus, you're gonna be fine, okay?" James said, although he didn't sound very reassuring. In fact, he sounded like he was straight-up lying, which in a way he was. He had <em>no</em> idea if she was going to be fine.</p>
<p>James had hoped Remus would know some healing spells, he <em>did</em> tear himself up every month after all. But to no avail, he said he was always too afraid to learn.</p>
<p>James heard the hushed voices of a concerned Sirius and Madam Pomfrey speaking through the mirror.</p>
<p>"I'm so sorry Remmy, s' all my fault." she slurred, tears forming in her eyes head lolling to the side a bit as she went through a dizzy spell.</p>
<p>She hadn't meant to cut so deep, but once she did she definitely didn't regret it. She felt awful knowing Remus could feel it, but if she died fast enough it would all be fine. And he would be okay.</p>
<p>She let out an angry huff of air as she tried to push the two boys off of her, she didn't have enough energy.</p>
<p>She looked through hooded eyelids as the big form of Madam Pomfrey came barrelling through the door, she couldn't see the very concerned look on her face.</p>
<p>"Mornin' Poppy" she slurred again.</p>
<p>Faeryn inwardly frowned, not having enough control of her body to actually move the muscles to do so. Now that Pomfrey was here that meant that Remus was going to have to feel all of this until they healed, now she felt even worse than before.</p>
<p>And she had felt awful before, completely and utterly awful. If she didn't die first, she was going to <em>kill</em> Lyall Lupin.</p>
<p>If not, her father was going to follow through with his threat. And it would be <em>her</em> fault.</p>
<p>Remus watched as Madam Pomfrey summoned a stretcher and laid Faeryn onto it, quickly levitating her out through the portrait hole.</p>
<p>Remus and James were told to stay in the dorm room. Remus numbly slumped onto the ground in a heap of lanky limbs.</p>
<p>His hips and forearms were burning with so much horrible power, they were almost worse than the scars he had given himself during the moons.</p>
<p>He heard a loud gasp as Sirius walked into the doorway, as he took in all the blood on the floor, took in Remus slumped over staring intently at the bloodied letter on the floor, debating internally whether or not to read it. Took in James sitting horrified on his knees, blood all the way up to his forearms and bare chest, unable to move, unable to process.</p>
<p>Remus distantly heard Sirius try and keep the girls away from the bathroom, but he was too focused staring at the folded note that was slowly absorbing the dark red blood on the floor.</p>
<p>This was Lyall's fault, <em>undoubtedly</em>.</p>
<p>Remus was going to <em>kill</em> that man. It was one thing when he hurt Remus, but if he even <em>dared</em> to hurt his Fae there was going to be a <em>big</em> problem.</p>
<p>And he dared. And so now he is going to pay.</p>
<p>Remus leaned forward enough to finger the parchment, accidentally leaving a fingerprint of dark red on the corner.</p>
<p>He was seeing everything through a tunnel, he heard the scared sounds that came out of Marlene, Lily, and Mary's mouth as they finally got past Sirius.</p>
<p>He gingerly opened the note, careful to not rip where the paper was tender due to the blood.</p>
<p>He skimmed through it at first, anger bubbling up inside as he kept reading.</p>
<p>How <em>dare</em> he.</p>
<p>Remus wasn't sure if he saw James be pulled up by Lily out of the corner of his eye or not, he was too busy seeing red, seething with anger.</p>
<p>James could only hear the loud roar of blood pumping in his ears. What if she died? He could have transformed into Prongs faster, called Sirius faster. It would be his fault, right?</p>
<p>This wasn't about him though.</p>
<p>He couldn't stop thinking about why she did that, what had changed the incredibly happy mood she had been in to something so severe?</p>
<p>James felt arms pull him up, but all he saw was Remus reading a note to his left, seething with red hot anger.</p>
<p>James's face was stoic, too numb to do anything to it. Nothing felt real.</p>
<p>He pulled away from the hands holding him, the slickness of the blood making it easier to escape. And he scrambled to slump down next to where Remus was reading.</p>
<p>Lyall Lupin.</p>
<p>He continued to read and he was confused as to what in the note made her—</p>
<p><em>Oh</em>.</p>
<p>Oh my <em>god</em>.</p>
<p>James was going to <em>kill</em> Lyall Lupin.</p>
<p>He allowed the girls to pull him out of the dorm room, he was watching behind glazed eyes, but he wasn't really seeing.</p>
<p>He didn't see the concerned faces of fellow Gryffindors who were looking horrified at the blood that was all up his arms and chest.</p>
<p>He didn't see the portrait door swing open, he didn't see as one of the girls (he wasn't sure which one, he didn't really care) led him to Dumbledores office.</p>
<p>Why were they going there? Shouldn't they be in the hospital wing with Fae?</p>
<p>James almost processed the face of Snape and Regulus as they passed them in the corridor, he chose not to worry about a silly thing as a schoolboy rivalry.</p>
<p>James didn't notice Remus and Sirius trailing behind him, Sirius with so much concern in his eyes. Remus burning hot with anger toward the man he was forced to call '<em>father</em>'</p>
<p>Sirius averted his eyes from the terrified look of his brother Regulus, he could <em>not</em> deal with him right now. Not after seeing Faeryn float by him out of the common room, after seeing the pool of blood that was supposed to be inside of her, not on the tiled floor of the 5th years' girl bathroom.</p>
<p>He didn't want to know what was in the letter, he saw it as a private thing, that only she and Remus should see. James shouldn't have read it, he thinks.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>How James ended up in the hospital wing, he was unsure of. The last thing he remembered was seeing the gargoyle of Dumbledores office, and the next thing he knew he was sitting next to Faeryn.</p>
<p>She didn't look like her. Her usually pink skin was pale and grey. Her light brown hair was slicked down her forehead, remnants of blood would peak through in small spots of redness in her hair.</p>
<p>Her usually emotional and active face was stoic, lips pressed into a thin line of purple, you could see the blue of veins peeking behind her eyelids.</p>
<p>It took James a minute to process that his hand was intertwined with hers, his thumb swiping over her knuckles soothingly, as if she were awake and aware to feel it.</p>
<p>He felt dull, felt as if a part of his soul had been abruptly ripped from him.</p>
<p>Fae was going to be fine and was going to be back on her feet in a few days. But everyone was too afraid to voice what they knew would happen, everything was going to be different.</p>
<p>They would try, for Fae, to act like everything was fine. But behind every smile would be the fear of seeing her lifeless on the floor. Every action would have some connection, and nothing was going to be the same. No matter how much they wanted it to.</p>
<p>Remus was sat on the other side of the bed, running his hand through her hair, just as James had done on the night of the full moon. It seemed everyone else had gone to bed, as it was dark outside, and the only source of light was a bluebell jar placed on the bedside table.</p>
<p>James wasn't sure what had happened in the hours before then, but all that mattered was that she was going to be okay.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>"You guys are such sobs." Remus popped up from where his head was laid uncomfortably on Faeryns hospital bed at the sound of her croaked voice.</p>
<p>"Why are you holding my hand, James?" she asked, giggling, which turned into a light cough.</p>
<p>James shrugged but didn't move his hand. He was afraid if he let go she would disappear forever. A fear he was now going to have for the rest of his life, even if she wasn't going to be apart of it.</p>
<p>"I assume you read daddy dearest's letter," she whispered, attempting to sound strong, her raspy and weak voice didn't aid her in her attempt.</p>
<p>Remus and James both visibly stiffened, both unsure of what to say.</p>
<p>"Okay then. Can you go get the girls? Mary had a hot date and I'd like to know all the steamy details, seeing as I won't be getting <em>anything</em> while im stuck in this hell hole." she frowned, it seemed her coping mechanism was humor.</p>
<p>Remus scrunched his nose in distaste, he hoped she had never been 'getting any', <em>ever</em>.</p>
<p>The boys nodded and went to fetch the girls.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Lily scoffed, "What kind of father would say this!" she was <em>outraged</em>, reading the letter to herself.</p>
<p>The three girls plus Peter and Sirius were crammed into the boys' dorm, adding up what they had witnessed earlier that day.</p>
<p>"What did he say? Squeaked out Peter.</p>
<p>Lily cleared her throat, "he said that he didn't have enough money because of the accident Faeryn had been in over the summer—" Lily interrupted herself.</p>
<p>"What accident?" she questioned.</p>
<p>Sirius shook his head, telling her not to ask right now.</p>
<p>She continued, "He said that he couldn't afford both of their Hogwarts tuitions, and that... He was going to turn Remus into the ministry as a werewolf." she cleared her throat again. "He probably would have been kept in a cage or put down," she whispered.</p>
<p>It seemed everybody had one shared thought, they were all going to <em>kill</em> Lyall Lupin.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Tinkerbell</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rumors spread around the school about Faeryn.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chapter 9</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>tinkerbell</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>Faeryn was stuck in the hospital wing for the next few days, though she could hardly get bored. There wasn't one whole moment where she was alone, not <em>once</em>.</p>
<p>She wasn't sure if they actually wanted to keep her company, or if they were scared she was still going to try and off herself, again. She decided not to think about it and enjoy the attention, regardless.</p>
<p>She was still quite weak when she was released and wasn't allowed to go back to her classes for another week after that, which was almost perfect timing. Christmas break started in a week. Meaning she was off of school for the next couple of weeks.</p>
<p>Faeryn was so used to waking up on the scratchy paper sheets in the confined space in between the curtains of her temporary room. So used to the smell of medical potions and foul-smelling chemicals. So used to seeing James slumped over on his transfigured chair half asleep, that the first morning she woke up in her dorm bed she freaked out. Unaware of where she was, or why she was there.</p>
<p>She jumped up and hit the back of her head on her headboard, earning the attention of the 3 other girls in the room. She had screwed her eyes shut from the pain, she <em>still</em> had a piercing headache from all the potions and bloodloss. And by the time she gained her composure and opened her eyes she saw her 3 dorm mates staring worriedly down at her.</p>
<p>She gave them a pointed look because no matter how many times she told them she was fine, they <em>would not</em> listen.</p>
<p>When she went back to dinner for the first time she felt as though every pair of eyes in the great hall were trained on her pale and weakened body. Faeryn was usually quite confident, it was hard not to get caught up in the excess arrogance of James Potter and Sirius Black. But Faeryn had never been more insecure then she was at that moment.</p>
<p>Apparently, the small number of students the boys passed on that day had started a chain of rumors, one second everyone was glaring at Sirius, the next they were feeling sorry for him. One moment everyone will cower away from Remus, and the next moment they are checking that he is okay. It was as if Rowans bipolar mess of a brain was thrown in the open heads of every student.</p>
<p>"No, no. My favorite is that 'I tried to kill you because you kissed Lily.'" James said with a cheeky grin, doubling over in laughter when Remus snapped his head toward Faeryn, terrified.</p>
<p>"I didn't kiss Lily, Remus," she reassured him, and his shoulders relaxed.</p>
<p>"I <em>snogged</em> her," she said with a smirk.</p>
<p>Remus choked on his tea, and there was a short moment of pure silence from everyone at the table before everyone started uncontrollably laughing.</p>
<p>Remus watched horrified while everyone laughed, he cleared his throat once the laughter had died down. "My favorite is that 'I didn't want to be the only twin with scars so I tried to slash your face to become more identical,'" Remus said, finally getting over the mentioning of Fae snogging Lily. (Only after he was reassured that, in fact, Faeryn did not snog Lily. She was not a home-wrecker, and loved both Rowan and Lily to death).</p>
<p>The group all finished eating, besides Peter who was still scarfing down food like it was his last meal. Faeryn had a brilliant idea, it had been a while since she had sabotaged one of the boys, she smirked in triumph.</p>
<p>She stepped onto the table, holding her wand to her neck, and clearing her throat.</p>
<p>"Attention Hogwarts students! I'm sure you've heard of all the rumors spreading around, and I would like to confirm that, yes, James Potter <em>did</em> try to kill me because I snogged <em>his</em> Lily-Flower." she sent a wink aimed in Lily's direction. The hall erupted with whispers and gasps.</p>
<p>James was sat wide-eyed and horrified in his seat, the rest of the group was trying with much difficulty to not laugh prematurely.</p>
<p>"So, if you are willing to spare a hex or two, it would be <em>much</em> appreciated," Faeryn said with a practiced smile, one that she had used to get her way in many situations. It was especially easy to manipulate the messes of horny teenage boys, she was sure if she tried hard enough she could someone to ask out McGonnagal. (Sirius and James excluded, they already ask out 'Minnie' practically every day).</p>
<p>By the time she sat back down next to James, the whole group was roaring with laughter. Peter had fallen off the bench with a loud thud, causing everyone to laugh more.</p>
<p>James was sitting, pale and paranoid waiting for the first hex.</p>
<p>The group simultaneously stopped laughing when the windows opened and the owls came to deliver the post, distracting anyone from aiming their wands to James' chest. Two letters landed within the group, one in front of Remus, and one in Front of Faeryn.</p>
<p>She recognized the pointed and sharp handwriting immediately, her stomach clenching in nervous anticipation.</p>
<p>Had Lyall found out what she had done?</p>
<p>She reached a shaky hand to the envelope, but it was snatched away by a red-faced Lily Evans before she could reach it.</p>
<p>Everyone was sitting tensely, unsure of what to do whilst Lily angrily ripped open the letter.</p>
<p>Everyone held their breaths as they watched Lily's eyes scan back and forth over the first letter, slowly crumbling the torn envelope in her other hand as she read.</p>
<p>She calmly folded the letter and looked up. Demanding in a too calm voice, "Remus. Faeryn. You are going to the Potters for Christmas break." She cleared her throat and proceeded to read the letter addressed to Remus.</p>
<p>Remus and Faeryn simultaneously furrowed their eyebrows, casting a glance at each other.</p>
<p>Why would their father send them a letter saying that? And only that?</p>
<p>Lily was hiding something.</p>
<p>Lily calmly folded the other letter and pocketed the parchment.</p>
<p>"I'm not letting either of you go home," she said, with such a powerful tone that anyone who second-guessed it would be dead before they could say 'Gryffindor'.</p>
<p>Lily turned on her heels, marching out of the great hall, growing more furious with each step.</p>
<p>'<em>You couldn't even succeed in killing yourself, it's quite unfortunate.' </em></p>
<p>
  <em>'Don't bother coming home to get your stuff, half-breed. You'll be dead before you will need any of your belongings.'</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> 'Don't expect me to feel bad for you, I hope it hurts like hell when you feel your disgrace of a brother die.' </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'You should have been the one to try and kill yourself, save me the effort of turning your name into the ministry as an unregistered werewolf.'</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> 'I'm looking forward to watching you squirm while your brother gets hit with a silver whip.' </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'Maybe if you just died along with your mother that night then your sister wouldn't have to go through what she does. It's your fault, you disgusting animal. I'm turning you in first thing on Christmas morning as my gift.' </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Lily thought she was clever hiding the letters in the top drawer of her bedside table, but it seemed Fae was more clever in this circumstance.</p>
<p>By the 7th time she's read the letters, Fae's sure she's finally gone mad. She couldn't stop <em>laughing</em>, the kind of angry laughter that just falls out of you without control. Who does he think he <em>is</em>?</p>
<p>Lyall Lupin would <em>not</em> be living to see the Christmas of 1975.</p>
<p>Faeryn would make sure of it.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>On the 18th of December Faeryn was locked in a private room off to the side of the hospital wing, huffing and puffing as Lily sweetly braided her hair.</p>
<p>Madam Pomfrey had demanded she spend the full moon in the hospital wing, after the chaotic mess that had been the past few weeks.</p>
<p>Faeryn had fallen asleep right after the blinding pain dwindled away, curtesy to a dreamless sleep potion provided by Poppy.</p>
<p>When she woke up she was sure she had become paralyzed over the night, for she didn't feel the burn of Remus's anxiety claws, as she very much liked to call them. Albeit her bones were still quite achy from the transformation, but she was baffled at how Remus could go the whole moon without clawing at himself even <em>once</em>.</p>
<p>She pulled her legs out from under the familiar scratch of the blankets, her bare feet making contact with the cold tile of the floor. She gingerly hoisted herself up, quieting her footsteps as to not wake Lily or alert Poppy of her awareness. She had no problem quietly gliding to the closed curtains that were the furthest from the hospital doors that led out to the corridor, she had quite enough practice slipping into Remus's bedroom as a child. She silently thanked her fathers abuse (not actually) as she successfully slipped behind the curtains to Remus' claimed 'second bedroom.'</p>
<p>She held in a chuckle at the sight before her, James had half of his face smashed against the bed, a puddle of drool collecting on the sheets. His back curved uncomfortably from his spot in the chair next to Remus' cot. Peter's head was facing the ceiling, loud snores falling from his mouth as he slumped in a cushioned chair in the corner. Sirius was curled at the foot of the bed, half his legs hanging off as his hair splayed around him, forming a crown of dark curls around his head.</p>
<p>And Remus. Remus was <em>smiling</em>. Beaming at the sight of his family surrounding him. The marauders were his family, too. Not the joke of a man Lyall Lupin. Remus was sure that he was more human than his father, regardless of the fact he was a werewolf.</p>
<p>Faeryn did a double-take. Remus was <em>smiling</em>, the <em>day after a full moon. </em></p>
<p>She grinned and padded over to where James was sleeping against the bed, pushing his head off of the mattress, quietly snorting when he jerked up in surprise, a quiet yelp falling from his mouth at the abrupt wake-up call.</p>
<p>Faeryn slipped under the blanket, scoffing when she felt how soft it was. Why didn't she get a soft blanket? Madam Pomfrey was so obvious with who her favorite patients were, Faeryn inwardly huffed in defiance. If she was going to be in here every month she deserved a soft blanket, too.</p>
<p>She leaned her head on Remus' shoulder, laughing lightly when she felt James' head drop like dead weight onto her lap. She ran her fingers through his hair, wrapping a curl around her finger.</p>
<p>"Mornin' Tinkerbell," he said, through a low raspy voice.</p>
<p>"How do you know who Tinkerbell is?" she questioned, her voice scratchy from crying out during last night's transformation. "And why are you calling me that? Out of any name you could call me you call me 'Tinker Bell?'" she asked.</p>
<p>"I'll have you know, my favorite muggle story was Peter Pan," he said with a pout at her doubt in his knowledge of muggle things. Regardless of the fact that he new hardly anything about muggles, Fae didn't need to know that, though.</p>
<p>"And because your name's Fae," he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.</p>
<p>"Very nice observation, Prongs." Remus laughed.</p>
<p><em> Prongs</em>? What's with all the new nicknames? And what the hell happened last night?</p>
<p>"You know. Fae. Fairy. Tinkerbell is a fairy. So from now on, I will refer to you as Tinkerbell, and Tinkerbell only." he said with a triumphant smile.</p>
<p>She lightheartedly smacked his head, "You will not call me Tinkerbell, James Potter." she demanded.</p>
<p>He looked up at her with a toothy grin. "Oh, but yes I will."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Bobbin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Faeryn returns home for Christmas, then visit's the Potters. James has a realization.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chapter 10</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>bobbin</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>Faeryn was going to visit Kris for the first two days of break.</p>
<p>Well, that's what she told her friends at least.</p>
<p>Ever since the party, the two girls had been getting along quite well. They weren't dating, per se. But they definitely weren't just <em>friends</em> either. So everyone believed her when she said she would be visiting Welch's house for two days.</p>
<p>
  <em>'Hey, I'm gonna stop somewhere before I come to your house, just dont tell anyone.' </em>
</p>
<p>Faeryn was most thankful when Kris didn't ask questions and went along with her lie. Because for the first time in all of her years at Hogwarts, Faeryn would be going home for Christmas break.</p>
<p>The train ride to her stop was filled with stories of Mary's new relationship with a 6th year, and Marlenes plan to convince her brother, Danny, to take her to a muggle concert near her hometown.</p>
<p>It was painfully obvious that everyone was carefully avoiding any topics concerning Faeryn and her family. She was very appreciative of it though, as she didn't have to talk most of the way there. And she was granted the perfect amount of time to re-evaluate her plan, to work through the kinks and mistakes, until she had perfected it to the dot.</p>
<p>When they exited the train she met up with Kris, who was waiting for her with a big smile. Faeryn was quite surprised with the girl's acting skills, she deserved an award for how well she was pulling this off.</p>
<p>Faeryn waved goodbye to the boys, knowing she would see them in only 3 days. She watched as Kris walked into the fireplace and called out, "Welch Manor!" and disappeared behind the haze of green fire and smoke.</p>
<p>She glanced around to make sure no one was too close to hear that she was indeed not following Kris to her house. She grabbed a handful of the green floo powder, and quietly called out "Lupin Cottage!"</p>
<p>For a split second she was traveling at unimaginable speeds, watching as hundreds of fireplaces zoomed in front of her. And then she was stepping into the living room of her house.</p>
<p>Her heart was hammering relentlessly in her chest, was she really going to follow through with this?</p>
<p>Yes. For Remus. And for herself, aswell.</p>
<p>She walked through the living room, making sure to avoid the spots she knew would creak if she put too much pressure on the floor.</p>
<p>She walked through the hallway, looking at the crooked pictures hanging on the peeling wallpaper. The pictures of her and Remus as toddlers, her mother with a goofy grin on her face as she held both of the twins over her shoulders. Faeryn smiled when she saw how happy they were, how happy they would have been.</p>
<p>She shook her head and continued to the back room, were Lyall spent all his time, drowning in firewhiskey and his own filth. She quietly pushed open the door, and saw her father slumped over in his stained recliner, snoring.</p>
<p>Her nose was hit with the smell of sweat and alcohol, she had to stop her self from coughing at all of the upturned dust and must. And he had the audacity to call <em>Remus</em>, disgusting.</p>
<p>The more she looked at the man in the chair, the less nervous she was, the more angry she became. This was the man that was supposed to love her, to take care of her. He wasn't supposed to hit her, or spit in her hair. He wasn't supposed to hold silver spoons up to Remus's arms, knowing that Faeryn could feel it, too.</p>
<p>The horrible excuse of a man sitting in front of her was not her father, and if anyone deserved to die, it was him. Not Remus. Remus who loved to read muggle novels. Remus who shared his favorite jumpers with Faeryn. Remus who was angry at anyone who dared to even think about kissing his poor 'innocent' sister. Remus who loved her, more than he would ever love himself.</p>
<p>And it was Lyall's fault that Remus would never love himself.</p>
<p>And it was the fact that Lyall was going to try and take him away from her, that gave her the final amount of courage she needed to pick up his wand on the side table and whisper, "Imperio."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Kris's parents were scary, to say the least.</p>
<p>Kris was the only member of her family who wasn't in Slytherin, it was astronomical the difference between her and her family.</p>
<p>The two girls spent both days stuck up in Kris's giant bedroom, or out in the grounds of the manor. Faeryn had been taken aback when she saw Kris's older brother, a boy she saw constantly with the forbidden group of Slytherins, Malfoy and Lestrange, and all of their friends.</p>
<p>She had begged Kris to stay away from her family after that, Kris was happy to stay away from them, as well.</p>
<p>When it was time to part ways, the girl thanked the family for allowing her in their company, and bid her goodbyes.</p>
<p>She was thankful stepping into the warm home at the Potters, knowing she was actually welcome there.</p>
<p>It was painfully obvious that the Welch's did not appreciate their daughter bringing home a half-blood.</p>
<p>She knew she was quite welcome in the Potter Manor when their house-elf, Bobbin, came barreling toward her and enveloping her legs in a big hug.</p>
<p>"Oh! Bobbin is so happy to have a girl in the home! You have no idea how unbearable it is for her with those boys!" she cried out.</p>
<p>"Bobbin! Let go of our guest!" she heard Euphemia Potter call from behind the house elf.</p>
<p>Bobbin pouted and reluctantly let go of Faeryns legs.</p>
<p>"I'm so sorry, Faeryn. It's nice to see you again." Euphemia said with a smile, Faeryn was surprised when she was pulled into a warm comforting hug. She almost cried at the motherly love she had been deprived of as a child.</p>
<p>"Thank you so much for letting me and Remus stay here, you have no idea how much we appreciate it, Miss Potter" Fae said as she pulled away, she watched as Bobbin happily levitated her bag up the grand staircase.</p>
<p>"Oh, no problem at all sweetheart. And call me Mia, please." she said kindly.</p>
<p>The next thing she knew she heard a door bang open and she saw the blurry images of four boys zooming down the stairs.</p>
<p>"Tinker Bell!"</p>
<p>"Fae!"</p>
<p>"Faeryns here!"</p>
<p>The next thing she knew she was surrounded by three boys who were hugging her like she was their lifeline, she let out a groan at the abrupt contact.</p>
<p>"Boys!" exclaimed Euphemia.</p>
<p>James and Sirius reluctantly let go of her, and she was left with Remus and her wrapped together.</p>
<p>She felt <em>awful</em>, knowing Remus thought he would be taken away soon. It was reasurring to her to know that he most definitely would not.</p>
<p>Peter was awkwardly standing next to Euphemia, he wasn't one for hugs. "Hello, Faeryn." he said shyly.</p>
<p>"Happy Christmas, Pete!" she said with a smile.</p>
<p>Bobbin aggressively grabbed her wrist and started pulling her toward the stairs, "Bobbin can show Faeryn her room!" she said excitedly.</p>
<p>Faeryn glanced back to the boys, who were snickering, knowing what Bobbin was about to do. Faeryn was clueless as to what was so funny.</p>
<p>An hour later Faeryn walked out of her room with her arms crossed across her chest and a dramatic pout on her face, face burning red. Bobbin pulled her down the stairs to the living room where the boys were playing a game of exploding snaps with a triumphant smile on her face.</p>
<p>Remus caught sight of his sister and burst out into hysterical laughter, causing the three remaining boys to turn around in confusion as to what had Remus laughing so hard.</p>
<p>Peter gasped and clapped his hand over his mouth to not laugh.</p>
<p>Sirius fell onto his back from his spot where he was sitting on the floor, forcing out words between heavy laughter, "Looking as beautiful, as ever, Fae!"</p>
<p>Faeryn scoffed and showcased both of her middle fingers.</p>
<p>James was red-faced and frozen staring at her, he had known what was going to happen, it just didn't process in his head that he would have see her afterward.</p>
<p>Bobbin <em>loved</em> giving makeovers and pampering all of the Potters' guests. She especially loved when James' girl cousins would come over and she could throw them into extravagant dresses and cover their faces in beautiful makeup.</p>
<p>No matter what Faeryn had said to try and get out of Bobbin's grasp, she was unsuccessful. Bobbin had held dozens of dresses up to her frame, trying to decide what color would look the best. She had settled on a simple forest green dress, it was silk and had thin straps and fell just above her knees.</p>
<p>Faeryn had struggled with the house-elf trying desperately to shimmy out of the dress. She would be damned if any of the boys saw her like this, the dress did not do well to hide her still bandaged wrists and shoulders. Bobbin did not care, and instead charmed the bandages to look mesh and sparkly to go along with the dress. If you were to actually touch it you would be met with cotton and tape.</p>
<p>Bobbin proceeded to cover her face in green eyeshadows and sparkles. Faeryn would be idiotic to say it didn't look gorgeous. But no matter how pretty she looked, she didn't want all the attention on her. She had tried to wipe it off with her hand, but Bobbin thought ahead and charmed it to stay.</p>
<p>The one part of the makeover Faeryn enjoyed was the hair.</p>
<p>'<em>Can Bobbin cut your hair?</em>'</p>
<p>
  <em>Faeryn shrugged, 'go for it.' </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'But Bobbin really wants to— really!?' </em>
</p>
<p>'<em>Yeah, I think it would be pretty.' she said with a reassuring smile.</em></p>
<p>Bobbin had done a tremendously good job, Faeryns hair was cut up to her shoulders, shorter pieces framing her face. Bobbin had charmed her hair to be loose and wavy. Faeryn absolutely loved it.</p>
<p>So now Faeryn was standing next to the couch in the Potter manor, in a silk dress with extravagant makeup and shorter hair. While the boys were in sweatshirts and sweatpants. She felt absolutely exposed and out of place.</p>
<p>The three boys who were dying of laughter failed to see James nervously swallow, and turn flustered back to the game in front of him, unable to stop the heat from rushing to his ears and cheeks.</p>
<p>'<em>Oh, Merlin. I fancy Remus's sister.</em>' he thought.</p>
<p>He inwardly groaned at the realization, there was <em>no way</em> this could turn out good for him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Imperious</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Faeryn seems to have a death wish out for James.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chapter 11</p><p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p><p>imperious</p><p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p><p>James was sure his heart was going to beat right out of his chest.</p><p>James was absolutely <em>baffled</em> when he realized the feelings he had for his best friend's sister were not newly onset. Looking back at it now, he always had some sort of adoration toward her.</p><p>Merlin, he was so fucked.</p><p>He was hardly able to compose himself because he knew that what he felt for her wasn't allowed. Remus would probably Avada him on the spot if he <em>even</em> admitted to <em>thinking</em> she was pretty.</p><p>Back in around 3rd year, Remus had made it <em>very</em> clear that Faeryn was off-limits. James doubted that had changed.</p><p>And James was sure he was going to throw up from all of the emotions that were flooding his system all at once.</p><p>Because she was in his <em>room</em>.</p><p>And it was early in the morning and she came strolling in, no knock or anything (He could have been wanking for Merlin's sake!) like it was nobody's business.</p><p>But he was absolutely frozen when she sat on his bed. His stomach practically glued to his throat, he could not think or talk or even react.</p><p>Oh, Merlin, a <em>girl</em> was on his <em>bed!</em></p><p>And she had obviously just woken up, and her hair was still a little wavy from last night. Remus's jumper was so big it covered her shorts, and he was absolutely <em>infatuated</em> with her.</p><p>And she looked so unknowing and innocent and he was sure he could pass out from the way she was smiling up at him lazily at the foot of his bed.</p><p>"Why the hell are you in my room at 7:00 am?" he asked, he was utterly terrified. Because he had just woken up, as well. And that meant something <em>much</em> more different to him than it did to her.</p><p>And it did not help that she was sitting on his bed! God! He could not get over that. He felt like such a <em>perve</em> but he simply could not help it. Could you blame him though?</p><p>"I couldn't sleep," she said simply, resting her chin on her hands.</p><p>"So you came into my room?" he asked, baffled. Because he just wanted her to <em>leave</em>, because this was too much for him. Because he actually <em>desperately</em> wanted her to stay. And the fact that he even thought that about her had him questioning everything he had ever done. And he just wanted her to <em>leave</em>. Because this could become very bad for him in the snap of a finger.</p><p>And James could not even process anything when she laid down next to him. And he prayed to every god that could ever exist that a giant hole would come and swallow him up forever because,</p><p>'Fuck! I fancy Remus's sister!'</p><p>And she was in his bed!</p><p>And the thought had not fully processed in his head the previous night, and <em>of course</em>, it had finally settled into his brain while she was laying in his bed! Right as he woke up! You know what that <em>means!</em> And all of his senses were heightened and he was willing away any thoughts that popped into his head. Because he knew if he began to think he would think of something that would <em>not</em> help his problem. And he could not deal with that at the moment.</p><p>"Yup," she replied. James gulped.</p><p>She cleared her throat and the goofy smile on her face was replaced with a serious stillness.</p><p>"I did something bad. Something so utterly awful. And what makes it worse is that I don't feel bad, not even one bit." she whispered, she sounded scared of herself. And what could be so bad that she sounded like that?</p><p>His heart began to race at the possibilities, and the speed it was beating compared to how fast it stopped when she confessed was probably enough to classify as a heart attack.</p><p>"I killed Lyall," she whispered, sounding so defeated and scared of herself that all he wanted to do was hold her until they died.</p><p>He sat up in his bed, "You what!?" he yelled.</p><p>And her eyes widened and she shushed him because it was <em>7:00 am</em> and she just confessed to <em>murder</em> and she did not want everyone in the house to awaken.</p><p>"You cannot tell anyone but I didn't know who else to tell and I thought you'd be the only one who could understand, that was probably dumb because you have a great father and probably couldn't even <em>fathom</em> the idea of wanting him dead. And I probably should have told Sirius because he understands what it's like to have awful parents but he's so close to Remus, not that you aren't but you know what I mean, and I don't know what I would do if he knew I was a murderer and— Merlin! I killed someone!" She rambled, and James had to focus very hard to understand what she was saying because of how fast the words were tumbling out of her mouth.</p><p>And James was sure that the world had stopped because he was just worried about a little, okay maybe not so little, crush he had. And he could hardly fathom the idea that she had <em>killed</em> someone. The contrast between those two thoughts was almost too large to be true.</p><p>"Just— shh! How did you do it? You could go to Azkaban!" he asked, shaking his head to try and grasp the thought.</p><p>"I used the imperious curse. And— and I made him kill himself," she whispered, her eyes were pleading with him, hoping, <em>praying</em> that he would not go and tell Remus.</p><p>"I made it look believable enough that no one would question it and they wouldn't check his wand for his last spells. And I have an alibi," she whispered and she looked so ashamed of herself. James felt almost disgusting knowing that he totally supported her actions full-heartedly.</p><p>"I wasn't thinking clearly! And he was going to take Remus away from me and I read the letters he sent us and, <em>oh my god</em>, you have to understand how awful they were and if anyone deserved to die it was him! And I probably could have bribed him or something but the opportunity presented itself and, James, if you <em>knew</em> what he did to us you would probably do the same thing." she was rambling again, it seemed it was her nervous habit. He just didn't know of it because Faeryn Lupin was never nervous, not visibly at least. Though, this was a perfectly good reason to be nervous, he thought.</p><p>"Okay," he whispered.</p><p>She gaped at him, blinking as she processed his words. "I just came into your room confessing to <em>murdering</em> my father and all you have to say is 'okay'?" she practically yelled the second half of the sentence, and James winced. That <em>surely</em> woke up Remus who was sleeping just across the hall.</p><p>He quickly called for Bobbin, who appeared next to his bed, gaping at the sight of Faeryn in his bed.</p><p>James turned red, knowing what she was going to think when he said his next words. He sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck.</p><p>"Bobbin, can you cast a silencing charm on the room?" he asked, and Bobbin was so taken aback she almost fell over.</p><p>Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Fae slap a hand over her mouth as to stifle her laughs at the elf's reaction.</p><p>The elf cast a disapproving glance at the boy before reluctantly casting a one-way silencing charm around the room.</p><p>"Don't forget the contraceptive spell!" she said, and before either of them could defend themselves she popped out of the room.</p><p>James was terrified, and Faeryn was practically falling off of the bed in laughter.</p><p>"Oh you're <em>so</em> dead if she tells Remus," she said while wiping stray tears that had fallen from her eyes during her hysterics.</p><p>They heard loud aggressive knocking on the door, which somehow, was locked. Bobbin must have locked it as well.</p><p>"James Potter if it's true that my sister is in there you will not live to see another day!"</p><p>James knew he was not kidding.</p><p>"Speak of the devil," she said with a smirk.</p><p>The door slammed open, and James saw his life flash before his eyes. Today was the day that he died. He would be facing the same unavoidable fate as Lyall Lupin. He could see his tombstone now, '<em>Death by association to Faeryn Lupin.' </em></p><p>"Does someone want to explain to me why Faeryn is in <em>your</em> bed at 7:00 in the morning with the door locked and a <em>silencing</em> spell activated?!" he boomed, his face practically red with anger.</p><p>James cast Fae a nervous glance, they couldn't really tell the truth. He just prayed that she would have a valid excuse, and was relieved when she began talking with a confident tone in her voice.</p><p>"We were snogging," she said nonchalantly.</p><p>Well, <em>fuck</em>. James was going to die today.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Enthralled</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Potters host a Christmas Eve party.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chapter 12</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>enthralled</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>Remus snapped his head to furiously look at James, he started barreling toward the terrified boy.</p>
<p>And right at the last second Faeryn held out her arms, shielding James from her brother.</p>
<p>"Just kidding, Moony. You really ought to learn how to take a joke," she said.</p>
<p>Remus froze, mouth agape. "Ha. ha. Very funny Faeryn." he said, pushing his lips into a straight line due to his lack of amusement.</p>
<p>"Why must you always put me in near-death situations, Faeryn," James asked, wide-eyed.</p>
<p>Faeryn snorted, he <em>never</em> called her by her full name, she found it very amusing that he did.</p>
<p>Remus was still looking at them suspiciously, his eyebrows furrowed in leftover anger.</p>
<p>"Well, I'll be seeing myself out. Happy Christmas Eve, boys," she said with a sheepish smile before she quickly walked out of James' room and back into her own next door.</p>
<p>She stifled a laugh when she heard a muffled James scream "we weren't snogging, Moony, I swear!"</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The five friends spent the rest of the day listening to muggle Christmas music and baking cookies. Bobbin was sulking in the corner after being ordered not to help.</p>
<p>"Dancin' and prancin' in jingle bell square,</p>
<p>In the frosty air!"</p>
<p>Faeryn bellowed, she was singing in between her laughter as she and Bobbin danced around the kitchen.</p>
<p>"What a bright time,</p>
<p>It's the right time,</p>
<p>To rock the night away,</p>
<p>Jingle bell time is a swell time—"</p>
<p>James and Sirius began as they were mixing bowls and throwing powdered sugar around.</p>
<p>Remus shook his head in disappointment, but couldn't help the smile that was on his face as he watched his friends dance around the kitchen, looking happy as ever.</p>
<p>He was content knowing he would be spending his last few days with his family. He tried not to think about what would happen to Faeryn if he was executed, would she be okay? He would hate to think that he caused her so much pain. He could only pray she would be fine.</p>
<p>Remus was thrown out of his thoughts as his face was coated with a thin sheet of flour. He froze and very slowly and calmly turned to face James with a terrifying smile on his face.</p>
<p>"Prongs," he stated, he watched as James tensed up at his calmness.</p>
<p>"It seems you have a death wish today!" he yelled as he barrelled toward him with a scoop of frosting in his hand and a smile on his face.</p>
<p>James noticed the frosting a moment too late, as he was pelted with a sugary coating of green sliding down his neck and shirt.</p>
<p>James froze, mouth agape. <em>Oh boy</em>, the game is on, now.</p>
<p>Sirius burst into laughter, before being hit with a cloud of powdered sugar by a laughing James. Peter tried to hide behind the table before Sirius wiped some frosting off of James' shirt and sent it hurdling towards him.</p>
<p>Bobbin and Faeryn watched in amusement from the other side of the room as the four boys laughed and threw food at each other, giddy smiles on their faces as they made a huge mess around the kitchen, ruining the cookies they were making. Much to Peters dismay.</p>
<p>Peter tried to save the bowl full of cookie dough but was unsuccessful as he slipped on a puddle of blue frosting that was dripping off of the counter.</p>
<p>"Wormtail! Not the cookie dough!" Remus bellowed.</p>
<p>Faeryn furrowed her brows, she had been meaning to ask what the new nicknames meant. She had been so busy worrying about her father that it totally slipped her mind.</p>
<p>"Everybody stop moving or I will turn your intestines inside out!" she roared, catching the attention of the four boys, who immediately froze. They did <em>not</em> want to be on the wrong side of Faeryn's wrath.</p>
<p>Bobbin cleared the kitchen with the wave of her hand, leaving only the food that was clung to the boy's hair and clothes.</p>
<p>"As much as I love a good food fight, you've ruined most of the cookies, and I'd like to salvage as much as possible, thank you very much," Faeryn said with a stern look.</p>
<p>"Also, where did those nicknames come from. I've been meaning to ask you," she said, as she strode up to James to wipe the frosting off of his glasses with her thumb, and then licking it off. She missed the slight blush that appeared behind the film of frosting on his cheeks.</p>
<p>She noticed as all four boys tensed up, and she narrowed her eyes.</p>
<p>"What did you do?" she asked suspiciously as she surveyed the last remaining ingredients that narrowly escaped the boys' wrath.</p>
<p>Peter squeaked nervously, earning a sharp look from the remaining three boys.</p>
<p>"Go on, tell me," she said sternly.</p>
<p>When no one made any move to speak, she waltzed back over to James, looking up at him through her eyelashes, his eyes widened.</p>
<p>She flashed him her very practiced smile, "Come on, Jamsie. Won't you tell me what the nicknames mean?" she asked innocently, inwardly cheering as he spluttered nervously.</p>
<p>He was so easy to manipulate.</p>
<p>He averted his eyes from her, attempting to look anywhere else. He muttered something under his breath. Fae knit her eyebrows,</p>
<p>"Come again?" she said.</p>
<p>He looked down in shame before she decided he would not be spilling the secret, and she moved over to kneel in front of Peter, who had stayed on his spot on the ground after he fell.</p>
<p>"Pete," she said sharply with a pointed look.</p>
<p>He let out a strangled sound of fear and spluttered out "We— we became animagus!" before his eyes widened and he snapped his hand over his mouth.</p>
<p>"Peter!" exclaimed Sirius.</p>
<p>Faeryns face was oddly stoic before she slowly stood and turned to the terrified boys, her back facing Peter.</p>
<p>"You became animagus," she stated, mostly to herself.</p>
<p>"You became animagus, and didn't think to tell me? You became animagus without me?!" she asked, she was really just hurt inside. She knew they did it for Remus, why would they think she didn't want to help him?</p>
<p>She felt silly for it, but she felt betrayed. She would have loved to become an animagi, especially if it meant helping Remus through his lycanthropy.</p>
<p>"Makes sense," she muttered to herself. That's how James and Remus got up the charmed stairs to save her, where they got the nicknames, why they didn't speak for a whole month, why the last moon was claw-free.</p>
<p>She honestly didn't know why she felt a tug in her stomach at the thought of them becoming animagi together, it's not like she was best friends with them or anything. She was just Remus' sister to them, she didn't know why she would expect differently.</p>
<p>She cleared her throat, "Come on Bobbin, let's go get ready for the party." she said, expertly hiding the pain that wanted to seep into her voice.</p>
<p>She smiled at the boys before pushing open the kitchen door and walking upstairs to her room.</p>
<p>Every year the Potters held a party on Christmas Eve in their ballroom. This was the first time Faeryn was attending, she always went to Rowan's house on Christmas Eve and was usually unable to attend. This year had different circumstances though, and she was quite nervous to be around so many important people.</p>
<p>She allowed Bobbin to tug her around the room, changing her into multiple different dresses before settling for a beautiful red dress with a low neckline, red lace went up further on her neck and covered her arms.</p>
<p>Bobbin was able to charm away the bandages that were still wrapped around her arms. She clasped a necklace around her neck that was gifted from Remus a few Christmas's prior, it was a gorgeous aquamarine stone embedded in silver wire. Their birthstone.</p>
<p>It didn't quite match with the bright red of her dress, but it was sentimental, and Faeryn did not care as much about the aesthetic. She loved the necklace too much.</p>
<p>Bobbin charmed her hair to be wavy like it was the previous night. She didn't use nearly as much makeup this time around, instead of putting natural makeup that perfectly accentuated her green eyes and high cheekbones.</p>
<p>When Bobbin was done there was still 20 minutes until the guest arrived. She slid in front of the full-body mirror in the bathroom connected to her room. She felt absolutely gorgeous. She did a turn and watched in awe as the skirt of her dress flew out, rippling in a beautiful pattern of red around her.</p>
<p>She had never felt so beautiful before. She knew it wasn't anything extravagant like the other guests would be wearing, but she loved it.</p>
<p>She jumped as her bedroom door was thrown open, followed by the squeals of Marlene and Lily as they saw her dress.</p>
<p>Faeryns face broke out into a wide smile. They both looked gorgeous, Marlene sporting a beautiful purple dress. Lily was tucked into a black silk dress. They looked absolutely striking.</p>
<p>"You guys look amazing!" she said, as she pulled them both into hugs.</p>
<p>"I could say the same thing about you! Damn, Faeryn. Just kiss me right now, would you?" said Marlene with a mischievous smirk.</p>
<p>Fae snorted, shaking her head. "Can't mess up my lipstick, ask me again tomorrow," she said with a giggle.</p>
<p>The girls caught up on what they had been doing over the few amount of days they had been in the break before they realized they had been late to the party.</p>
<p>"Oh I can't believe we are gonna walk in late!" exclaimed a nervous Lily, she had never been to a wizards dance before that wasn't at school.</p>
<p>"It's perfect! We can have a dramatic entrance and everything, everybody will turn to look at us and their jaws will fall to the floor." said an enthusiastic Marlene.</p>
<p>Faeryn rolled her eyes as she pushed open the double doors leading into the ballroom. It was absolutely breathtaking, red and green covered all the walls, the tables all had Christmas decorations. There were ribbons and Mistletoe hung up on the high ceilings.</p>
<p>The three girls gaped at the decorations, as all the boys gaped at the girls.</p>
<p>Practically all the teenage boys in the room had turned to look at them. By the time the girls had finished smiling at the room and returned their eyes to the faces of the room, Lily and Fae turned red at the unexpected attention. Marlene basked in it.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The doors spread open, and the four marauders nonchalantly turned to look at who entered.</p>
<p>James' breath caught in his throat. Faeryn looked absolutely <em>stunning</em>. She turned to look for the boys, finally connecting her gaze with James, who was staring mesmerized into her captivating eyes. He could see the vibrant green of her eyes from where he was standing. She flashed him a radiant smile, she was beaming.</p>
<p>And he was absolutely whipped.</p>
<p>Oh, he was so fucking screwed.</p>
<p>He was sure his feelings were completely diaphanous, if anyone were to look at him they would have no doubt in their mind that James Potter was absolutely infatuated with Faeryn Potter.</p>
<p>He couldn't talk himself into averting his eyes, the three girls were floating over to his parents. They were all smiling kindly up at them, thanking them for the invite.</p>
<p>She looked absolutely ethereal as she twirled to face the other way, showing off her dress to Euphemia with giggles falling out of her lips.</p>
<p>Oh, Merlin, he needed to look away right this second. He was sure someone would notice the way he was ogling at her, which would not be good if Remus were to hear. If that were to happen, he would be dead before he could even talk to her.</p>
<p>He reluctantly averted his eyes to peer into the drink he was holding in his hand. Out of any girl he could have fallen for, why did it have to be her? He <em>knew</em> why, she was absolutely ravishing, and the sound of her laughter was unexplainably dulcet to his ears. The way she walked with such confidence, the amount of care she had for the people she loved. All the things she has gone through, and she still managed to walk around with the brightest smile in the room. He had no doubt in his mind why he was enthralled with her.</p>
<p>But it was the fact that it was <em>her</em>, that was unbearable. Because he would never be able to have her. She was too good for him, first of all. And Remus would never let her settle for a boy like him. She was totally off-limits, and it was as insufferable as it was exciting.</p>
<p>"This is absolutely gorgeous, James," exclaimed Fae.</p>
<p>
  <em>So are you. </em>
</p>
<p>She was still beaming up at him, amazed by the gorgeous ballroom that was in his <em>house</em>.</p>
<p>James was sure he could die happy right then and there. Because she was looking at him with such a breathtaking glint in her eyes. She held his gaze, her warm eyes emitting such adoration. He was stuck captivated looking into her eyes, and he felt so connected to her in a way he had never felt with anyone. It seemed as if they knew each other's deepest and most dark secrets with one simple look.</p>
<p>It was short-lived, though. James could have stood there with her looking at him like that for the rest of his life with absolutely no complaints.</p>
<p>But he was nudged on the shoulder by Pete, with a raised eyebrow at his unusual behavior. James cleared his throat and downed the firewhiskey he had snuck into his cup.</p>
<p>This was going to be a long night. He surely wasn't complaining, though.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Lyall</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>James' feelings grow for Faeryn, as Faeryns' feelings grow for Kris.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chapter 13</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>Lyall</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>James groaned, he knew he shouldn't have drunk so much last night. But he couldn't help himself. If he had been fully sober who knew how miserable he would be gazing at her laughing and smiling all night, all while knowing he would never be able to have her.</p>
<p>He glanced at his watch, 7:00 am. He rolled his eyes and immediately regretted it when it sent a shooting pain branching from his eyes.</p>
<p>He sprung up in his bed.</p>
<p>
  <em> It's Christmas!</em>
</p>
<p>He hopped on one foot over to the dresser across the room as he was pulling on his pajama pants.</p>
<p>A goofy smile was plastered onto his face. James absolutely loved Christmas. And this year he would be spending it with his best mates.</p>
<p>Barreling out of his room he abruptly stopped in front of Remus' door, "Moony! Get up, it's Christmas!" he yelled, you could practically hear the grin on his face.</p>
<p>He heard a muffled "Fuck off," from behind the door. He furrowed his eyebrows, "Way to be in the Christmas spirit." he grumbled under his breath.</p>
<p>He moved on next to Faeryns room next, banging on it with a curled fist.</p>
<p>"Tinkerbell! Hey, wake up, it's Christmas!" he said joyfully.</p>
<p>He heard some shuffling from behind the door, knocked one more time, and then followed up with a quiet "coming in!" before he pushed open her door.</p>
<p>She sat up tiredly in her bed, an exhausted smile on her face. "Merry Christmas, Jamsie," she said, voice groggy and raspy from sleep.</p>
<p>
  <em>Oh, holy mother of anything that was ever holy. </em>
</p>
<p>He cleared his throat, "yeah, happy Christmas." he smiled back at her.</p>
<p>"Well, we ought to go down there, yeah?" he said, turning away from her. Even the night after a party she was still <em>stunning</em>. He was sure that he would never view her as anything less than.</p>
<p>"Yeah, go pop into Sirius's room while I get dressed." she smiled at him and he turned on his heel to wake up Sirius.</p>
<p>Banging on his door like the time before he yelled, "Padfoot, get your lazy arse out here! It's Christmas!' he yelled, he flinched as a hard object hit the other side of the door.</p>
<p>"No one in this home has any Christmas spirit," he grumbled to himself before storming back into Faeryns room.</p>
<p>"Fae! You will not believe—" he snapped his eyes shut.</p>
<p>"Oh," he cleared his throat, trying to rid the red on his face from embarrassment. He slapped his hand over his eyes.</p>
<p>"Sorry— I'll just... see you downstairs."</p>
<p>"It's fine James, I'm just in a bra," she said with a giggle, though he didn't dare open his eyes to see the grin on her face.</p>
<p>Oh, fuck fuck fuck fuck, <em>fuck</em>.</p>
<p>He saw her in a bra, he saw her in a bra, <em>he saw her in a bra! </em></p>
<p>"James."</p>
<p>"Hmm?" he hummed, his voice inched octaves higher than usual.</p>
<p>"You can open your eyes now," she said, he could hear the grin on her face.</p>
<p>He kept his eyes screwed shut and dropped his hand to his side limply.</p>
<p>"No I'm okay like this," he said quickly. He didn't want to open his eyes <em>or</em> keep them closed. He didn't want to stay in the room with her <em>or</em> leave. He didn't want to <em>exist</em> because he just saw her in a <em>bra!</em> And <em>oh god,</em> he was such a teenage boy.</p>
<p>"It's not a big deal James." he could <em>also</em> hear her roll her eyes.</p>
<p>"Mother of Merlin James just open your eyes," she said, more sternly this time, apparently becoming slightly annoyed at his childishness.</p>
<p>"Nope," he said, popping the 'p' dramatically.</p>
<p>"Open your eyes," she paused to contemplate for a moment, "or else," she said menacingly.</p>
<p>"Or else what?" he asked, totally disregarding her threat.</p>
<p>"REMUS!" she roared, his eyes snapped wide, "YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT JAMES—"</p>
<p>"Okay!" he yelped, "Okay, I opened my eyes. <em>Pleasestopyellingoryourbrotherwillactuallykillme,</em>" he said quickly, trying to stop her from setting his death sentence.</p>
<p>"Why would I kill you?" he asked.</p>
<p>It's official, Faeryn genuinely wants James dead.</p>
<p>"What did you do?" he asked, "Did he do something?" he asked Faeryn.</p>
<p>"Do I need to kill him?" he asked seriously.</p>
<p>"Remus, I was using you as bribery. And I'm very pleased to say it worked," she said, as she strolled past both of the boys and out of the room with a smirk.</p>
<p>Remus turned to James, "What did she want?" he asked with a grin.</p>
<p>James crossed his arms over his chest dramatically and mumbled under his breath.</p>
<p>"Nothing." and he strutted out of the room, head held high to mask the remaining fear from his near-death experience.</p>
<p>All four kids gathered in various spots around the Christmas tree, and Pete was at home with his family.</p>
<p>They all had excited grins on their faces, Remus knew this was probably his last day with his friends, and decided to live it as happy as he could.</p>
<p>But when Mia and Fleamont appeared out of the kitchen with solemn expressions, their smiles dropped. All for different reasons.</p>
<p>Remus, knowing his father turned him in.</p>
<p>Faeryn, knowing they found out about Lyall's death.</p>
<p>James, afraid that Remus would figure out who killed Lyall.</p>
<p>Sirius, because Christmas was supposed to be happy. Why were they upset?</p>
<p>Mia's eyes flickered between the frowns on Remus and Fae's faces.</p>
<p>"I'm afraid we have some very bad news," she said sadly.</p>
<p>"Remus, Faeryn. I am very sorry to say that your father has passed away." Fleamont finished for his wife.</p>
<p>Remus knew he wouldn't be able to be happy for this— <em>what?!</em></p>
<p>"What?!" exclaimed all four children. Again, for all different reasons.</p>
<p>Remus, because he was expecting <em>such</em> different words to come out of their mouth.</p>
<p>Faeryn, faking her surprise.</p>
<p>James, because his parents were <em>upset</em>? They should not be grieving Lyall's death.</p>
<p>Sirius, because he was genuinely surprised,</p>
<p>Mia looked slightly taken aback by the lack of remorse.</p>
<p>"Yes, he missed his appointment with the ministry this morning and they went to check on him... and found him unresponsive," she said solemnly.</p>
<p>Remus let out a sound of surprise, "How— how did he die?" he asked, eyes wide with confusion.</p>
<p>"I am so terribly sorry, children," she said, regarding Fae and Remus, "He took his own life," Fleamont said slowly.</p>
<p>James was watching Faeryn from across the room, his surprise at her acting skills were portraying as his surprise to the news of Lyall's death. For that, James was thankful. He definitely wasn't the best actor in the bunch.</p>
<p>"We'll leave you to yourselves," Mia said gently, as the two adults swiftly disappeared back behind the kitchen door.</p>
<p>"Faeryn," stated Remus, with no underlying tones of any emotion.</p>
<p>"What did you do?" he asked, his voice fully confident in his accusation.</p>
<p>Faeryns mouth went dry, how did he know?</p>
<p>"What?" Sirius asked, eyes wide as he pieced together what Remus was saying. Was he accusing his sister of <em>murder? </em></p>
<p>Sirius looked to see James' reaction, taken aback when he noticed that James was hardly reacting at all. Sirius felt so unusually out of the loop.</p>
<p>"I don't know what you're talking about, Remus?" she questioned, sounding genuinely confused.</p>
<p>"I don't know whether to be furious or thankful," Remus said dazed, his father was dead. Dead, dead, <em>dead</em>. And Remus would live.</p>
<p>He was slightly scared at his lack of sadness over his father's death. Though he had a right to be happy about it, he thought.</p>
<p>"Thankful." James supplied for him.</p>
<p>Remus barked out an unbelieved laugh. "Holy mother fucking Merlin, you <em>killed</em> our dad? For me? You're out of your mind, Fae. Do you understand how bad this could have become?" he said, still sounding so surprised.</p>
<p>Sirius's eyes snapped wide, James rolled his eyes.</p>
<p>Faeryn apprehensively smiled, "Uhhh— Merry Christmas?"</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Remus was conflicted.</p>
<p>The rest of break had been filled with a totally bipolar Moony.</p>
<p>One second he was elan and praising Faeryn for how <em>brilliant</em> it was, how thankful he was of her.</p>
<p>The next he was totally drilling into her, 'I can't believe you killed someone!' and 'do you understand how reckless that is?'</p>
<p>Remus usually had a sort of equanimity to him, but he could not for the life of him organize his thoughts to wrap around the idea that <em>his</em> Faeryn had actually <em>killed</em> someone.</p>
<p>By the first week back at school, he decided that Faeryn's ability to pull off her finagle was highly respectable. And decided that he would have done the same thing if his father had threatened to get Faeryn killed.</p>
<p>Although the others in the group still seemed to tread lightly around him, for fear of accidentally changing his mind, or royally fucking something else up.</p>
<p>Two weeks back at school and things were back to normal. Though they all admit that Faeryn murdering someone might not have been the <em>best</em> way to start 1976.</p>
<p>The group of trouble makers had returned to their usual shenanigans. And the twins enjoyed a second full moon with the animagus. Remus not clawing himself to near death. And Faeryn enjoying the less painful transformations and days after the moon.</p>
<p>Things were going well for the group of Gryffindors. Excluding Remus and Sirius, who were still madly in love with each other, both with the notion that their feelings were unreciprocated.</p>
<p>Remus was upset knowing that Sirius wasn't into guys, knowing he'd never be able to call him his.</p>
<p>Sirius constantly had a sharp pain in his chest, looking at Remus and knowing that even though he was into guys, he wasn't into <em>Sirius</em>. He thought it hurt more than if Remus were to be straight.</p>
<p>Remus would avoid Sirius, trying desperately to rid himself of the self-destructive love he had toward his best mate.</p>
<p>Sirius tried desperately to get the attention of Remus, who seemed to be ignoring him. He would successfully usher the other boys out of the room, only to have Remus leave too.</p>
<p>To their friends, it was quite obvious they were in love with each other. And James had failed at many attempts to get the boys' to see that their feelings weren't one-sided.</p>
<p>Faeryn was doing great, a month into their second term and her relationship with Kris had been growing beautifully.</p>
<p>The two girls would spend most of their free time together, hanging out in each other's common tooms, strolling the grounds, picnics by the Black lake, late-night adventures up to the astronomy tower.</p>
<p>James' feelings for Faeryn were growing, just as hers were growing for Kris.</p>
<p>Sometimes it was unbearable for him to be in the same room as them, just pure pain would stab his chest.</p>
<p>He would watch how genuinely happy she looked, and his heart would soar. Then he would remember that she was happy because of <em>Kris</em>, and not <em>him</em>. And his heart would thump painfully.</p>
<p>And two months into term, his little flicker of hope that it was just a fling was snuffed out with three words.</p>
<p>She came running up into the boys' dormitory, a huge grin on her face that made James' heart jump in glee.</p>
<p>She flopped onto Remus' bed, who grumbled at the interruption of his deep reading.</p>
<p>'She said I love you.' she had said dreamily,</p>
<p>James' heart stopped in anticipation. <em>Love?</em> Faeryn didn't say it back, did she? There was no way she was in <em>love</em> with her.</p>
<p>She laughed before her voice softly confirmed the thought that could break his heart.</p>
<p>'I said it back.'</p>
<p>James felt like vomiting, it took everything in him to not bolt out of the room right then and there, knowing it would cause an arise of questions.</p>
<p>They were in <em>love?</em> When did that happen? How was that even <em>possible?</em> It had only been like four months! How on earth do you fall in love in four months?</p>
<p>James' eyes fell sadly to gaze at his hands, unseeing. He couldn't muster up the energy to congratulate her.</p>
<p>It's not like he was in love with her. But he was sure that he <em>could</em> fall in love with her given the chance. He <em>would</em> <em>have</em> fallen in love with her, no question about it.</p>
<p>It pained him knowing he would never get the chance.</p>
<p>He would be happy for her though, because how could he ever wish for two people in love to break up? He was happy that she was happy, and he would ignore the anguish bubbling in his chest, all for her.</p>
<p>Maybe he could find someone else.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Animagus</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Faeryn does research to become an animagus.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chapter 14</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>Animagus</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>Finding someone else was way easier said than done.</p>
<p>Because each time he would believe that his feelings finally began to dull, <em>she</em> would wander into the common room in all her brilliance with red swollen lips and a large smile on her face.</p>
<p>And the feelings would come crashing back like a tidal wave.</p>
<p>He was stuck in a painful loop. The seawater of feelings would finally retreat back to its home with his other emotions in the recesses of his mind. And then, when he was least expecting it, waves upon waves would come barreling toward him, prompting him to topple over due to the pure power.</p>
<p>He would find himself stuck up in a broom closet with a faceless girl, and he would close his eyes and realize that he wanted the lips he was kissing to be <em>hers</em>. He craved to taste the cherry chapstick that she was regularly applying, desired to kiss the hardly detectable freckle that resided on her bottom lip. Wanted the hair he was clutching to be her brown hair. The hair she could care less about, that she never took the time to style because to her it was <em>just hair.</em> He ached to run his hands through it and mess it up even more, wanted to feel the curls stream through his fingers.</p>
<p>He wanted the hands grasping his shirt to be hers, wanted to feel her multiple rings snag on the fabric. He wanted to feel the coolness of them against the back of his neck. He wanted the nails that were dragging on his scalp to be hers. Her short nails with regularly chipped nail varnish, he was sure he'd never seen them in pristine condition. But he loved them that way, it was just so... <em>her</em>.</p>
<p>He wanted the hands encircling around him to be hers, wanted to watch as the random combination of colors that colored her hands from old paint moved up and down around him.</p>
<p>He wanted the girl in front of him to be <em>her</em>.</p>
<p>And so that's why he didn't brag when he went back into the common room. Why he plopped down into a worn-out chair in front of the fireplace. Why he rested his chin on his palm and gazed unseeing into the fireplace. That's why it hurt when she congratulated him, and why he didn't have the strength to reply. Why he stared up at the ceiling of his bed until the sunset, and why he was still in the identical position when the sun visited again.</p>
<p>That's why he wasn't able to find anyone else. Because there was no one else.</p>
<p>There was just Faeryn.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>To Faeryn, there was just Kris.</p>
<p>Caring and patient Kris, who would blow her pocket money on sugar quills and acid pops. Kris who would stay up all night reading a random fantasy novel, and then spend the following week explaining the plot to Faeryn until she discovered another book to obsess over.</p>
<p>Kris who would drag Faeryn out onto the grounds while it was pouring down rain so they could lay in the grass and dance while the water hammered down on their skin until they were trembling and freezing. But they didn't mind because they were together, and that's all that mattered at the time, they could get warm later.</p>
<p>Kris who would bring blankets up to the astronomy tower so the two of them could sit in pleasant silence and read bundled up next to bluebell jars.</p>
<p>Kris who would arrange dates in the kitchen so they could sip hot chocolate and tell childhood tales.</p>
<p>Kris who would introduce her to her friends and make sure she felt comfortable around them. Kris who would tolerate the marauders, even though it was apparent she couldn't stand them. But she would do it for Faeryn.</p>
<p>Kris who would make sure to take notes for Faeryn when she was stuck in the hospital wing for the night with a 'migraine.'</p>
<p>Kris who would spend every moment of free time going over what happened in care of magical creatures while Faeryn was pale and ill in bed.</p>
<p>Kris who loved her.</p>
<p>And Faeryn loved her too.</p>
<p>Though she wasn't sure she was <em>in</em> love with her. She was positive, though, that given more time, it would occur.</p>
<p>Because Kris loved her while no one else would, she didn't understand <em>why</em> Kris loved her. But she would not take her for granted, because she was certain this was her only possibility of finding love, finding someone who would love her.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Waking up in the hospital wing on the 16th of March was both good and bad.</p>
<p>Good because Remus hadn't acquired any more scars. Bad because Faeryn had to spend the whole day in the hospital wing while hearing about how much fun they had without her.</p>
<p>And she despised that she was jealous. But overhearing all four of them laugh and recount what had occurred made her feel bitter.</p>
<p>She was Remus' twin for Merlin's sake, she should be out there beside him!</p>
<p>If they could become animagus, so could she.</p>
<p>So that night when she was eventually released from the hospital wing, glad to be away from that offensive blanket (Poppy <em>still</em> hadn't given her a soft one), she went directly to the library.</p>
<p>And she had searched through the diverse assortment of books for hours until the library closed, and she had only discovered one paragraph mentioning the methods to become an animagus.</p>
<p>Then she remembered that the boys had to have found the information somewhere, they probably wrote down notes, right?</p>
<p>She cursed the fact that earlier that day was her free period, and she would have to wait again until next Wednesday to creep into their dorms.</p>
<p>And so she lived the next week as she ordinarily would, dates with Kris, reading with Remus, escapades with the marauders. And on the following Wednesday she remained out in the common room until the last of the boys had wandered down to their classes, and she hurriedly got up and snuck into their dormitory.</p>
<p>She began with Remus' trunk, knowing that nothing would be in there, but investigating just in case. Then Petes, she grimaced when she opened it as a waft of a very offensive stench invaded her senses, she rustled through it swiftly, praying that nothing was in there. When she found nothing she propped open Sirius' trunk, unearthing mostly muggle magazines of girls and motorcycles, <em>typical</em>. Still nothing.</p>
<p>She was beginning to believe she wouldn't find anything, but kneeled down in front of James' trunk nevertheless.</p>
<p>His trunk was unexpectedly very tidy, unquestionably the work of Remus, she could tell by the way everything was arranged.</p>
<p>At the bottom left there were two large notebooks piled on top of each other, one was a weathered down forest green, the spine was cracked and there were multiple dog-eared pages. The second was a greying maroon, in better condition.</p>
<p>She tugged open the red one, inwardly pumping her fist when on the first page it read '<em>A guide to becoming an animagus that actually makes sense (fuck you random lady from dozens of centuries ago)</em>' she laughed. Could they be more obvious?</p>
<p>She cracked open the next one and instantly felt guilty when it read '<em>James' Journal, seriously don't open this, like no joke I'll hex you, put the book down, Sirius</em>' in poor handwriting, it appeared as if he'd owned it since first year.</p>
<p>She hastily glanced around the room before turning to the first page, noticing it was dated 1971, during the first term of first year. She smiled as she read,</p>
<p>
  <em>'Hello, diary? I guess I could call you that,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Today was a good day, my friends and I put bugs in the Slytherin dorms with my invisibility cloak, no one knew it was us! How brilliant is that! </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Lily hexed me again today when I asked her to Hogsmeade, she yelled at me and said "we can't even go to Hogsmeade until third year!" and the next thing I knew my hair was blue. She definitely loves me.'</em>
</p>
<p>Faeryn giggled, Lily unquestionably did not love him. Her stomach reeled with guilt when she flipped to the most recent dog-eared page, March 12th, 1976, just a few days ago. she snapped the book shut after she saw the first line, which read,</p>
<p>
  <em> 'Oh Merlin I'm so screwed, I think I'm in love with her.'</em>
</p>
<p>Her eyes stretched in excitement, James is in <em>love</em> with someone! She wasn't going to cheat and invade his privacy enough to read who, she would have to figure that out herself.</p>
<p>It appeared that the next several months were going to be busy, one with the upcoming OWLs, two with becoming an animagus, and three with aiding James to get with his dream girl.</p>
<p>She transfigured a book from her bag to resemble the one she took, and she placed the false one and James' journal back in their respective spots.</p>
<p>She spent the rest of her break reading over the long list of instructions the boys had written up, she had to admit she was surprised they were dedicated enough to do some of the things they did. It gave her motivation knowing that they had been successful in their attempts. If they could do it, she could too.</p>
<p>By the next full moon, she had told her friends that she had an awful sore throat, and would be resting it for a while. And the next thing she knew, there was a mandrake leaf under her tongue for the following month.</p>
<p>This had caused an argument with Kris, who was yelling at her girlfriend for not being there as much as usual. Faeryn had responded by furiously scribbling on a notepad she now carried with her full time, informing her she was becoming possessive and she needed to calm down. Faeryn was allowed to not be with Kris twenty-four seven.</p>
<p>Not the most desirable choice, because the rest of her silence-filled month was packed with dirty looks from across the great hall, it was an awful feeling, knowing that Kris was mad at her.</p>
<p>It was a miracle none of the boys caught on, the arrogant little <em>shits</em> they were, because it seemed the less she talked to them, the more they strayed away from her, Remus excluded.</p>
<p>Were they only friends with her because of the energy she put in? If she stopped talking to them all the time would they even <em>try</em> to become close with her again? It didn't actually seem like it. All it did was solidify her conspiracy that they were only friends with her because she was Remus' twin.</p>
<p>Rowan had tried giving Faeryn various treatments her muggle mother swore by, Faeryn had rejected them all. Lily was constantly asking how she was and making sure she was feeling okay and comfortable. If the boys wouldn't be friends with her, at least she had them.</p>
<p>Marlene and Mary had acted as if nothing changed, which Faeryn was also immensely thankful for.</p>
<p>She had been terribly grateful when she was able to take the leaf out of her mouth, everything was beginning to irritate her to an unexplainable level. It felt otherworldly to be able to speak again.</p>
<p>She had been so thrilled when she had felt a second heartbeat in her chest while waiting for her potion to brew. So inspired that she ran all the way to the Ravenclaw knocker and answered the riddle herself, and she had thrown herself into Kris' bed and silenced the curtains around them.</p>
<p>They had a first that night. The feeling of Kris between her legs was unexplainable. When they had both finished they flopped back onto her bed with wide grins on their face, an exchange of "I love you's" and they fell asleep.</p>
<p>It was only in the next two days that lightning struck down, she was obsessively patrolling the sky waiting for any indication of thunder or lightning. She had about missed it as the sky lit up for a split second, urging her to run to where she had concealed her potion.</p>
<p>She had very hurriedly walked up to the 7th floor, praying the entire way there that no one was in the room of requirement.</p>
<p>She was ecstatic when she was able to go in.</p>
<p>It was a replica of her dream bedroom, all lilac and white. High ceilings with a grand chandelier and complex carvings into the crowning. And a gorgeous king-sized bed that was more comfortable than the feel of a cloud.</p>
<p>It had taken two hours after she had consumed the potion for the vision of her animagus form to appear.</p>
<p>When she came out of her trance she very cheerfully jumped onto a beanbag that was perched in the corner of the room.</p>
<p>"No way, no way, no way!" she had shrieked excitedly to herself.</p>
<p>"Holy shit!" she laughed in a tone of unbelieving, "I'm a cat!"</p>
<p>She thought it was quite a beautiful cat, though she was <em>technically</em> biased, as the cat <em>was her.</em> She was all black, except for two white spots on her back that closely resembled wings.</p>
<p>She smiled at that, James would have a <em>field</em> day knowing that her animagus had fairy-like wings. She'd probably never hear the name 'Faeryn' come out of his mouth again, she would be reduced to Tinkerbell and Tinkerbell only.</p>
<p>She thought that being a cat made absolute sense, for one of the Latin words for cat is 'faelus' which is eerily similar to her name. And the wings made perfect sense too. Because her mother had named her 'Faeryn' because of how much she adored fairies, her mother was very pleased when she found out they were real. Fae couldn't be more thrilled with the form her animagus took, she had been quite fearful that she was going to get something bad like Pete.</p>
<p>She would have to wait until the May moon to finally transform.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Oh, Padfoot. Oh, Moony</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sirius and Faeryn enjoy their evening painting.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chapter 15</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─<br/>Moony, Moony, Moony</p>
<p>Padfoot, Padfoot, Padfoot<br/>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>"You became a <em>what?!</em>" exclaimed Sirius as he and Faeryn were walking from class.</p>
<p>"I became an animagus," she mumbled while looking the other way.</p>
<p>"What if you fucked it up? You could have been stuck as a—whatever you are— for the rest of your life!" he blurted.</p>
<p>"Are you <em>scolding</em> me? <em>The</em> Sirius Black, yelling at me because <em>I</em> did something dangerous," she said in disbelief, she slapped the back of her hand against his forehead with concern.</p>
<p>He scoffed and shoved her hand away, "It's different when it's harmless pranks and shit but you could have royally fucked that up." he said with his arms dramatically crossed over his chest. Such a drama queen.</p>
<p>"Don't have any faith in me?" she questioned, a mischievous glimmer in her eyes.</p>
<p>"Shut up," he responded, a grin on his face.</p>
<p>The two Gryffindors stepped out into the spring air, feeling the grass sink below them as they walked. The fragrance of rain still infiltrated their noses from the rainstorm that had taken place the previous night. The trees were beginning to bloom with pinks and greens, the two values contrasting as opposites. But as they say, opposites attract, and the branches danced collectively in the wind, the pinks sweeping against the green in greeting.</p>
<p>Birds were flying about happily, joining the conversations of the multiple colored branches, adding into the splash of color that painted the grounds.</p>
<p>"I haven't exactly <em>transformed</em> yet," she said as she dried the grass under a tree with the wave of her wand.</p>
<p>Sirius halted mid-step and turned his head to glare at her.</p>
<p>Before he could shout at her again, Faeryn rolled her eyes, "I don't wanna hear it, <em>mum</em>. I'll be fine. I'm gonna wait until the next moon." she said, as she sat down with her legs crossed on the lawn.</p>
<p>Sirius gawked at her, "You will do no such thing!" he exclaimed, sounding scarily similar to McGonagall. "You need to practice transforming as many times as you can before you go out there with Moony. Are you <em>mental?!</em>" he yelled, as he dropped down next to her.</p>
<p>Faeryn rolled her eyes as she rummaged through her bag, drawing out two clear canvas' and setting one out in front of her and one in front of Sirius.</p>
<p>"I'll go in the room of requirement tonight and do it then," she said as she pulled out a few paints that were thrown in her bag.</p>
<p>"I'm coming with you, you aren't gonna do it alone." he huffed as he drew his hair into a ponytail.</p>
<p>"Whatever Sirius. Nice to know you believe in me. What a loving brother you are." she grumbled as she adjusted her supplies in front of her.</p>
<p>"Oh don't <em>even</em>, Fae. I'm not in the mood for this," he said as he too arranged his supplies.</p>
<p>"No, I <em>am</em> gonna do this because—" She started.</p>
<p>"Periwinkle," he said.</p>
<p>Faeryn huffed, "Fine." before shutting her mouth.</p>
<p>Periwinkle was their word for a truce, basically. When one of them realized they were arguing over something dumb they would say the word and behave as if no quarrel had taken place.</p>
<p>The two seemed to get lost in pointless arguments constantly. One of them being whether periwinkle was purple or blue. They had spat their views to each other for 30 minutes in the common room until Faeryn realized that it was <em>both</em>. They always got distracted trying to be the correct person. So henceforth, they decided to say 'periwinkle' when they desired the other to shut up. There's no arguing once the word is spoken, the argument is over.</p>
<p>Sirius looked up at the view before him, before guiding his brush to the clear canvas, permanently marking it. This was one of the reasons Sirius enjoyed painting with Faeryn, because he could have full control over what went on in his art. Sirius constantly felt like everything was out of his control, it was calming to ground himself, to remind himself that he was in control of at least <em>one</em> thing.</p>
<p>He watched as the ink spread over the white surface, watched as all his thoughts and emotions translated onto the canvas, in only a way he could understand. Painting was all his, only <em>he</em> could control what he painted, only <em>he</em> could control what it meant.</p>
<p>"How are you and Remus," Faeryn asked nonchalantly.</p>
<p>Sirius' hand jerked to the right, messing up the line he was drawing, he grumbled.</p>
<p>"What do you mean?" he asked, trying to sound as uninterested as possible, the task deemed more difficult than he had originally anticipated.</p>
<p>"We all saw you snog a few months ago, and then you just acted like it didn't happen. I was just wondering," she said as she rubbed her nose, transferring a streak of blue onto her cheek unknowingly.</p>
<p>"You guys remember that?" he asked, <em>oh fuck, fuck, fuck.</em></p>
<p>She furrowed her eyebrows, "Yeah? Why?" she asked, confused.</p>
<p><em>Why?</em> Does that mean Remus remembers too? Why hasn't he said anything? Was it because he regretted it? Yeah, that makes the most sense. He didn't want to hurt Sirius' feelings by telling him he didn't like him that way. He was just being a good friend.</p>
<p>
  <em>Friend.</em>
</p>
<p>"Sirius."</p>
<p>"Hmm?" he asked, as he held his paintbrush in his mouth to gaze over his canvas, contemplating how to fix his error.</p>
<p>"Do you regret it?" she asked, he could detect a hint of fear in her voice.</p>
<p>"No!" he said way too fast, he cleared his throat, "No, no way. Does Moony regret it?" he asked, now it was his turn to lace a hint of fear in his voice.</p>
<p>She laughed a little and Sirius' heart dropped.</p>
<p>"Remus? Regret kissing you?" she asked in disbelief.</p>
<p>What was that supposed to mean? Was it that obvious that he regretted it? Why is that such an obvious question?</p>
<p>"<em>God no</em>, Pads. That kiss is probably his go-to wanking memory," she said with a laugh before she scrunched her nose in distaste.</p>
<p>"Okay wait <em>ew</em>, I don't wanna imagine that," she said with her eyes closed, shaking her head to clear her thoughts.</p>
<p>"What do you mean?" he asked, does Moony like him?</p>
<p>She gaped at him, "You really can't tell? Merlin Sirius, and I thought <em>Marlene</em> was oblivious. Even <em>she</em> could tell!"</p>
<p>"Could tell what?" he said offended, she did <em>not</em> just call him more oblivious than <em>Marlene</em>. Bless her soul but she couldn't catch a murderer if they cast the Avada curse on someone in front of her.</p>
<p>"Sirius, Remus is like... crazy in love with you," she said as she tucked a hair behind her ear, wiping another splotch of paint on her cheek. By now her hands were practically covered in a rainbow of colors and her face had multiple spots of paint spread around like freckles.</p>
<p>Sirius froze.</p>
<p>Remus, in love with him.</p>
<p>Remus, in love with <em>him?</em></p>
<p>Remus, in <em>love</em> with <em>him!</em></p>
<p>He wiped his hands on the grass before frantically picking up his bag, stumbling to stand up.</p>
<p>He started retreating away, "I'm gonna... er— I'm gonna go—"</p>
<p>"Go get em' tiger," she said with a smile.</p>
<p>"Yeah..." he turned around and started racing toward the castle.</p>
<p>"Wish me luck!" he called over his shoulder, quickening his steps.</p>
<p>He heard a quiet "good luck! But you won't need it!" as he got nearer to the castle.</p>
<p>Sirius had never recognized how long it took to get to the Gryffindor Common room, with each step his right foot took more fear overtook him, and then each time he stepped with his left more excitement overtook him, as well.</p>
<p>Moony is in <em>love</em> with <em>him!</em></p>
<p>When he finally stumbled through the portrait hole he saw James and Pete in a fiery game of exploding snaps.</p>
<p>"Hey Padfoot how—" James began.</p>
<p>"Where's Moony?" he asked, slightly panting due to the quick trek up the stairs.</p>
<p>"In the dormitory, why what's—"</p>
<p>Sirius didn't linger to listen.</p>
<p>He ran up the stairs two steps at a time, shoving open the door as soon as he was close enough to reach it.</p>
<p>He could hear his blood roaring in his ears, each beat of his heart as it sped up at the sight of him.</p>
<p>Remus had just walked out of the bathroom, his hair was wet and he had a towel around his waist. His eyes were wide at the sight of Sirius so frantically opening the door.</p>
<p>Remus had gotten more comfortable around the boys as the years went on, it was only this year he started walking around without a shirt on, and he still only did that rarely.</p>
<p>And <em>holy shit</em>, Sirius was so in <em>love</em> with him. And he looked so good with his hair wet and messy, little drops dripping from the ends and onto his shoulder.</p>
<p>Remus' cheeks warmed in embarrassment, because it was <em>Sirius</em> who was seeing all of his scars, and no <em>wonder</em> Sirius doesn't like him, and—</p>
<p>Sirius was barreling toward him.</p>
<p>"Padfoot what are you— hmph," he was cut off.</p>
<p>Cut off by Sirius crashing their lips together.</p>
<p>Remus' eyes fluttered shut. A boiling hot warmth sprouted from their lips toward his chest. And <em>holy shit</em> it felt so good. Their lips melted against each other with fervor. And Remus was certain he'd never felt anything more <em>right</em>.</p>
<p>He hummed as Sirius' hand came to grip his wet hair, Remus brought his hands up to fist his shirt, he yanked him closer to press against him.</p>
<p>Remus was glad he had charmed his towel to stay on.</p>
<p>Sirius tugged on the ends of his hair, which prompted Remus to gasp. Sirius took the opportunity to shove his tongue between his parted lips, intensifying the kiss. Tongue grazing over the roof of his mouth and working to explore every corner of his mouth.</p>
<p>And it was wet and sloppy and kind of gross. But it was okay because <em>Sirius</em> was kissing <em>Remus</em>, and <em>Remus</em> was kissing <em>Sirius</em>.</p>
<p>And they were drunk off of each other, drunk off the <em>taste</em>, the <em>smell</em>, the <em>feel</em>.</p>
<p>Remus could smell the pine of Sirius' fancy cologne that his uncle had gotten him for his birthday a few years prior, Remus remembered how much Sirius had liked it, he used practically half the bottle in the first month. Remus had gifted him another bottle for Christmas, Sirius had been complaining for weeks that he had run out.</p>
<p>Remus could taste the faint tang of peppermint, he had seen Sirius sucking on one during their free period.</p>
<p>Sirius was intoxicating, Remus could hardly think. All he could think of was Sirius.</p>
<p>Sirius was dizzy off of the scent that was invading every thought in his head, the smell of rain, a slight hint of apple from his shampoo. Sirius inwardly chuckled because Remus didn't even <em>like</em> apples, but his shampoo was apple scented. And <em>of course</em> Remus would have his shampoo be a fruit he didn't even like.</p>
<p>He could taste the mint of his toothpaste, Sirius swore Remus brushed his teeth like ten times a day. He would wander into the bathroom at the most irregular times and come back out with blue at the edges of his mouth. And Sirius would tell him <em>every time</em> that he had toothpaste on his mouth, and Remus would never learn to wipe his mouth before he came back out of the bathroom.</p>
<p>Remus was intoxicating, Sirius could hardly think. All he could think of was Remus.</p>
<p>And it felt like they were kissing for an eternity, but it was also cut off too short when Sirius pulled away. And for a second Remus was scared that he regretted it, but then Sirius spoke and his heart soared.</p>
<p>"I am absolutely infatuated with you, Moony." and Sirius dove right back against his lips, giving him no time to reply.</p>
<p>Sirius shuffled them back so that the back of Remus' legs hit the edge of his bed. And Sirius pushed him back and accompanied him down onto the bed.</p>
<p>As Sirius began to kiss down his jaw, leaving wet marks down his neck, Remus breathlessly said, "I am absolutely infatuated with you, too."</p>
<p>And Sirius couldn't control himself anymore. Because Remus was <em>underneath</em> him, and was kissing him, and making these sounds that Sirius was sure were the opening trumpets to heaven. And Sirius could die right then and be perfectly okay with it, because his last moments would have been with Remus.</p>
<p>He connected their lips again, desperately trying to communicate all his emotions into the kiss, trying to reveal how he was so <em>in love</em> with him without actually speaking it. He hoped Remus got the message. And he felt his pants tightening as Remus helped him remove his shirt.</p>
<p>As Sirius went back to his neck he had to pinch himself because Remus was whispering "Padfoot, Padfoot, oh Padfoot," over and over, and there was <em>no</em> possible way this was happening, he <em>had</em> to have been dreaming.</p>
<p>He smiled against his neck when he realized it wasn't a dream, and he licked a long stripe up one of the scars that littered Remus' neck. And Sirius could feel Remus harden from under the towel that was still annoyingly wrapped around his waist.</p>
<p>He ripped off the last piece of cloth that was covering him, discarding his own trousers to somewhat level the playing field.</p>
<p>"Merlin, Moony. You're perfect."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>After Sirius had practically sprinted into the castle, Faeryn gathered up both of their art supplies and arranged them in her back. She decided to lay under the tree for a while with a smile upon her lips for Remus.</p>
<p>She took her time walking up to the common room, just appreciating the silence of the empty halls while everyone was either studying or using their time to socialize.</p>
<p>She still had a smile on her face as she slumped down into the couch next to James, who was sulking that Pete had beat him.</p>
<p>He rose to make his way up to the dormitory, Faeryn's eyes widened.</p>
<p>"<em>James!</em>" she exclaimed.</p>
<p>He paused and turned to her with furrowed eyebrows, "Yeah?" he questioned</p>
<p>"I er, wouldn't go in there if I were you," she said while scratching the back of her neck.</p>
<p>James' eyes furrowed closer together before they shot up to his hairline, "<em>Oh!</em>" he said with a smile.</p>
<p>"Took you long enough," Peter mumbled. Faeryn laughed.</p>
<p>James came back to plop down next to Faeryn flashing her a small smile.</p>
<p>"I have a surprise for you guys," she said with a grin.</p>
<p>"Really? What is it?!" Peter said excitedly.</p>
<p>"I became an animagus!" she said, and she smiled as Peter's face lit up in excitement.</p>
<p>"You became a <em>what?!</em>" James exclaimed.</p>
<p>Faeryn snorted, "You are too similar to Sirius, It's disturbing sometimes."</p>
<p>"Do you know how wrong that could have turned out? You could have—"</p>
<p>"Shut up, Prongs. Padfoot already yelled at me. I'm <em>sincerely</em> sorry bla bla bla, and I've learned my lesson bla bla bla, and I'll never do it again bla bla bla. There, you happy?" she said.</p>
<p>James huffed and crossed his arms over his chest dramatically.</p>
<p>Faeryn rolled her eyes, "we already have one drama queen in this group, we don't need you to be one too."</p>
<p>"Oh just shut up, will you." he tried to sound upset, but couldn't help the smile that peaked through to his lips.</p>
<p>Faeryn rested her back against the armrest and plopped her legs down onto James' thighs. A red tint covered the tips of his ears.</p>
<p>She was content with sitting with her boys, well <em>half</em> of them.</p>
<p>Until she leaped up with a yelp and slapped her hand over her neck, her face burning red.</p>
<p>"What happened?" asked Peter.</p>
<p>"Erm... nothing, just— girl stuff... yeah," she said, her eyes wide.</p>
<p>This caused both the boys' faces to burn just as red as hers and avert their eyes.</p>
<p>It was most definitely <em>not</em> girl stuff.</p>
<p>Oh, she would <em>never</em> let Remus and Sirius hear the end of this!</p>
<p>
  <em>He bit his neck!</em>
</p>
<p>She burst into laughter, "Oh god, he bit his neck!" she said in between laughs.</p>
<p>Peter's eyes widened, he squirmed in his seat and looked a little uncomfortable.</p>
<p>James burst into laughter along with Faeryn, falling over next to her on the couch as he struggled for air.</p>
<p>When the two stopped laughing and opened their eyes they realized they were face to face, noses almost touching.</p>
<p>Faeryn's eyes widened, James' eyes searched all around her face with a hint of amusement in his gaze. James lifted his thumb to his mouth and licked it. Faeryn furrowed her eyebrows as he brought his thumb up to her face and wiped her cheek. Her cheeks reddened.</p>
<p>"You need to learn how to paint without making such a mess, your whole face is practically covered in different colors," he said with a smile.</p>
<p>He stared into her emerald eyes, <em>oh</em> how much he wanted to kiss her right now. His chest burned painfully knowing that he would never be able to.</p>
<p>He brought two fingers up to his forehead and saluted before he rolled off the side of the couch with a loud thud.</p>
<p>He smiled when he heard her laugh again.</p>
<p>He loved her laugh.</p>
<p>He was pretty sure he loved her, too.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Not me forcing you to live off literal crumbs. I'm very sorry, I promise things will start happening soon.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Lifeless</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kris and Faeryn have an argument.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chapter 16</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─<br/>lifeless<br/>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>Faeryn stepped silently down the stairs into the common room, looking over at the area of couches and chairs Sirius would always be found at. She smirked when she saw it was deserted.</p>
<p>The common room was so quiet to the point that it was loud, she glanced at her watch, 9:30 pm, she would be out way past curfew. She tiptoed over to the portrait hole, calculating each step as to not make any sound.</p>
<p>"Where do you think you're going?"</p>
<p>She jumped at the sound of Sirius' voice, she held her hand over her chest attempting to stifle the rough beating of her heart.</p>
<p>"Er... the kitchens?" she declared.</p>
<p>"Can't go anywhere without the cloak and map though, can you?" he said with a smirk.</p>
<p>She didn't reply and simply stared at him.</p>
<p>"Come on, I wanna see what form you take. We don't have all night," he said with a knowing glint in his eyes, holding up the invisibility cloak for Faeryn to join him under.</p>
<p>She scoffed, but still ducked under his arm to settle under the cloak. He held out the map for her to take, she grabbed it and tapped it with her wand.</p>
<p>"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," she whispered. She watched in familiar awe as names and rooms began to bleed onto the parchment. Her eyes swept back and forth around the Ravenclaw dormitories, slightly furrowing her eyebrows when she noticed Kris' bed was deserted.</p>
<p>Faeryn sighed in relief when she saw Kris with one of her friends in their common room. She assumed he was helping her study for the upcoming OWLs.</p>
<p>The thought of OWLs made her internally groan, the teachers were starting to pile up the work at an unbearable rate. She was constantly stuck in the library until closing time desperately trying to keep up with the workload. Faeryn felt as if she could suffocate under all of her books and the essays that she had to write.</p>
<p>Sirius cleared his throat to her right, snapping her out of her reflections.</p>
<p>"Right, sorry... this way," she said, avoiding his gaze.</p>
<p>The two made their way up to the seventh floor, Sirius guiding them as she stared at the map to stay clear of any wandering students or teachers.</p>
<p>It wasn't curfew yet but they didn't want to raise suspicions by going to the seventh floor so late at night, especially since it had been an unusual time since the boys had pulled any type of pranks.</p>
<p>When they spotted the tapestry that alerted them they were by the room, Faeryn ducked out from under the cloak and began to pace back and forth in front of the corridor. She smiled as the door appeared and she opened it to her room.</p>
<p>Sirius came in after her, eyes scanning all around the room and smirking when he caught sight of the giant beanbag. He zoomed over and jumped onto it, a huge grin on his face.</p>
<p>"Let's begin shall we?" he smirked.</p>
<p>She nodded, holding her wand up to her chest and saying the spell, hopefully for the last time. She had said those words so many times they had lost all meaning.</p>
<p>She closed her eyes and aimed to focus all her energy in her chest, condensing it into a tight ball of warmth just under her sternum.</p>
<p>Deep breath in, deep breath out.</p>
<p>She felt her body relax with each intake of breath, a sense of calm overtook her.</p>
<p>The energy began to heat up in her chest, and it took ample concentration to maintain control.</p>
<p>She felt her veins proceed to burn with foreign energy, she could sense her magic charging under her skin.</p>
<p>She began to spread the energy orb, visualizing it running through her veins and twinkling with a glorious golden hue.</p>
<p>Her skin began to prickle with a familiar feeling, one almost identical to the full moons. And right as the final fraction of energy reached the tips of her toes her bones began to burn, though it was nowhere near as painful as transformations, just relatively uncomfortable.</p>
<p>Her mind went blank as she felt her body begin to shrink, and she kept breathing to keep calm. If she freaked out she could get stuck as something she didn't wish for.</p>
<p>Her veins ceased burning, now returning to their original temperature, she felt cold from the lack of heat that was running through her just a second earlier.</p>
<p>She prepared herself to open her eyes, and when she did, she was down close to the floor, looking at paws in front of her eyes, everything was in black and white.</p>
<p>
  <em>She had done it!</em>
</p>
<p>She inwardly smiled as she gazed at her paws, which were all different values, varying from white to black, looking stained with color just as her hands were.</p>
<p>She looked up to see a dog towering over her, but she was now able to smell so many things she never had before. It was as if she could smell his <em>feelings</em>.</p>
<p>She would have cowered away from him if not for the wagging of his tail and the scent of trust and happiness invading her senses.</p>
<p>
  <em>'Friend did it!'</em>
</p>
<p>She heard, but Padfoot didn't make any noise, she just <em>understood</em> what he was saying.</p>
<p>It was such an odd feeling, she felt so many unusual things that she wasn't even aware of as a human. She felt the most stable on her feet than she ever had, and she could hear even the smallest of things such as a bug's legs padding against the wall that was behind her.</p>
<p>She felt so in tune with her senses, in a way she never had before. She felt brand new.</p>
<p>She watched as Padfoot shifted back into Sirius, who was smiling down at her.</p>
<p>She closed her eyes again, visualizing herself growing back into Faeryn. And she felt the same heat run through her veins, though it wasn't painful this time.</p>
<p>Once she had felt herself stop she opened her eyes, a wide grin growing on her face.</p>
<p>"I did it!" she screamed happily.</p>
<p>"Let's go tell Remus," Sirius said as he turned to the door buzzing with excitement.</p>
<p>"That was amazing! And I feel so refreshed, like I'm a new person or something." Faeryn said with a smile on her face as she and Sirius were walking out of the room of requirement.</p>
<p>"That took you so much faster than I thought it would," Sirius said while shaking his head in disbelief.</p>
<p>"I wish I could tell more people because that—" she began.</p>
<p>"Tell people <em>what</em>, Faeryn?"</p>
<p>The two Gryffindors turned around confused, Faeryn breaking out into a smile when she saw Kris.</p>
<p>"Hullo Kay! Why are you--" she started.</p>
<p>"Don't '<em>Kay</em>' me. Not when I've been looking for you for the past forty-five minutes and then I find you coming out of the room of requirement with the school <em>fuck</em> boy after curfew." she said angrily.</p>
<p>Faeryn's smile dropped.</p>
<p>"Kris I have a boyf—" Sirius tried to say.</p>
<p>"I don't want to hear it, <em>Black</em>," she said his name with such fierce venom it reminded him of his mother, "I'm trying to have a conversation with my girlfriend so if you would kindly fuck off." she shooed him with her hands.</p>
<p>Sirius scoffed, "Who do you think you <em>are</em>—"</p>
<p>"Shove off—"</p>
<p>"Stop interrupting me when I'm talking!" he interrupted.</p>
<p>"Sirius just go," Faeryn whispered to him.</p>
<p>He stared at her with disbelief stretched over his face.</p>
<p>"<em>Please</em>." she pleaded.</p>
<p>"Fine, I'll wait in the common room," he grumbled and walked away, leaving the cloak but taking the map.</p>
<p>When he finally disappeared out of sight Faeryn turned to look back at Kris, who had a strong fury in her eyes.</p>
<p>"Kris we didn't do what you think we did," she said, desperately trying to mask the pain in her voice at the accusation.</p>
<p>"Yeah? What were you doing then?" she asked, her arms crossed over her chest</p>
<p>Faeryn froze. She would <em>never</em> cheat on Kris, and she knew Sirius would never cheat on Remus, either. But she couldn't explain herself, this wasn't just her secret she had to keep. It was Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter's.</p>
<p>She understood what it looked like, but she couldn't betray Remus' trust like that. He could end up killed.</p>
<p>"Kris I can't tell you. But I swear on <em>everything</em> that I didn't cheat on you," she said desperately.</p>
<p>"You can't <em>tell</em> me?" Kris asked.</p>
<p>"Kris, it's not my secret to tell. Believe me, if I could tell you I would. I love you, I would never cheat on you." she pleaded.</p>
<p>"Prove it."</p>
<p>"What?" asked Faeryn.</p>
<p>"Prove that you love me. Stop hanging out with them and I'll believe you," she said firmly.</p>
<p>Faeryn gaped at her.</p>
<p>"Kris, they are with Remus all the time. I can't just stop hanging out with them."</p>
<p>"Then stop hanging out with Remus, too," she said like it was the most obvious answer.</p>
<p>Faeryn scoffed, "Kris he's my <em>brother</em>."</p>
<p>"If you actually love me, you'll stop hanging out with them. <em>All</em> of them." And at that, she turned on her heels and disappeared past the corridor.</p>
<p>Faeryn couldn't lose Kris. She knew Kris would come around sometime, the boys would be fine without her until then.</p>
<p>She sulked all the way back to the common room, and when she walked in she saw Sirius waiting for her in a chair by the fireplace.</p>
<p>When he saw the portrait hole open he jumped up to go see her, but she didn't even glance at him before she walked straight up the stairs to the girls' dormitory.</p>
<p>Sirius furrowed his eyebrows slightly, he would have to ask her what happened tomorrow.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>So Faeryn did what Kris asked her. No matter how much it hurt her, because this was her <em>one</em> chance, her <em>one</em> opportunity for love. Remus would understand that.</p>
<p>She sat with Marlene, Lily, and Mary during every mealtime. She was never in the common room, and was either with Kris or reading in her room.</p>
<p>Every time any of the boys tried to talk to her in classes or the hallways she would ignore them until she could walk away. Every time it pained her tremendously to see the look of hurt on all of their faces, especially Remus.</p>
<p>But things were going much better with Kris, and Faeryn was praying that she would let her <em>at least speak</em> to her brother. It had barely been a week but she missed him terribly.</p>
<p>She knew the other boys would be fine without her, they were obligated to be friends with her anyway. They were probably glad to finally get rid of her nagging them. So she was confused when she noticed that James and Sirius were constantly sulking, they hadn't pulled any pranks, and were unusually quiet at mealtimes.</p>
<p>Maybe Remus' bad mood was rubbing off on them? She knew the most likely answer was that they were upset regarding her ignoring them, but her mind simply wouldn't let her believe it. There was <em>no</em> way that she meant that much to them.</p>
<p>Though it wasn't her fault for thinking that, no matter how much evidence there was to back up the fact that she was the cause of their sorrows. Her father had made it very clear to her that she was worthless throughout the years, can you blame her for having trust issues?</p>
<p>That was another reason she couldn't lose Kris, because Kris somehow found her worth being with. And Faeryn would ruin all her relationships for her, even if it was killing her to do so. She would <em>not</em> screw up this opportunity.</p>
<p>She had been slowly isolating herself from everyone but Kris, out of fear that she would think Faeryn was cheating on her again and would break up with her.</p>
<p>She simply <em>could. Not. Lose. Her.</em></p>
<p>So that's why on the night of May 13th she was throwing up in a bucket over the side of her hospital bed, mostly out of fear that Kris would see her sneaking around with the boys. The thought terrified her.</p>
<p>It terrified her more than the fact that she was about to go hang out with a <em>werewolf</em> for the night, and if that doesn't say how much she loved Kris, nothing could.</p>
<p>She sat back in her bed exhausted, wishing a good night to Madam Pomfrey as she cast a silencing charm around her room for the transformation.</p>
<p>She had approached the boys' dormitory earlier that day, and was met with a lone James. She quickly explained her plan to him for how she was going to sneak out of the hospital wing, and reluctantly told him that he would have to be the one in her room for the transformation if they didn't want to get caught.</p>
<p>And even though Prongs was huge and had no problem controlling Moony, Padfoot had way better authority over him, Peter was needed to get into the whomping willow with Sirius. James was the only option.</p>
<p>She hadn't spoken to him since their awkward greeting when he entered the room, he was playing with his fingers as he sat jittery in the chair beside her bed.</p>
<p>She felt the tingle and flexed her hands in front of her as her nails began to burn. She hissed as she felt her nails elongate into claws, but her hands didn't change at all. The only way she knew she wasn't the one transforming was the sight of her nails staring back at her, still chipped and multicolored, her fingers stained red from a painting she had been working on that week.</p>
<p>"<em>James</em>," she stated, he snapped his head to look at her with concern.</p>
<p>She flashed him a small smile before patting the bed beside her, Lily always held her during the transformations. James would have to do.</p>
<p>"Scoot up," he said gently, slipping into the bed behind her when she shifted forward.</p>
<p>His legs were open and she was situated between them, her back pressed against his chest.</p>
<p>James was worried that she would be able to feel the erratic beating of his heart, but then she began to scream. And that was the least of his worries, because she was in pain in front of him and he could do nothing to help.</p>
<p>All he could do was place light kisses on the top of her head, run his hands through her short hair, and whisper nothings in her ear. He felt utterly helpless.</p>
<p>Faeryn wasn't usually quite conscious during the transformations, but she was oddly able to concentrate on the feeling of James' hands running through her hair, the sound of his voice. It helped ground her, she was not alone.</p>
<p>And neither was Remus. He had Padfoot.</p>
<p>And suddenly the transformation wasn't that bad, knowing her brother wasn't alone either.</p>
<p>After a few dreadful moments her bones permanently settled, her skin healed, and the transformation was over. She slumped back into James' chest, desperately fighting the nagging need to sleep.</p>
<p>She distantly heard the door open, and through a haze heard Madam Pomfrey.</p>
<p>"Potter if you are still in bed with her when I check on her in the morning you will be serving detentions for the rest of your Hogwarts career!"</p>
<p>"<em>Poppy!</em> I'm not gonna do anything!" James blanched back.</p>
<p>"I'm warning you," she said in a hushed voice, before closing the door once more, signaling for the two of them to go down to the whomping willow.</p>
<p>"You look exhausted." James noticed as he slid up from the bed.</p>
<p>All she could do was hum in agreement.</p>
<p>"Transform now and I can carry you down so you can rest," James said as he picked up the cloak and map, preparing to make their great escape.</p>
<p>She didn't have the energy to protest, so she focused before she felt the now familiar burning heat trickling through her veins, and suddenly everything was black and white.</p>
<p>She felt James pick her up, and the warmth of his chest mixed with the recent transformation lulled her to sleep.</p>
<p>As James snuck out of the hospital wing and was walking down the corridor, he found himself absentmindedly scratching behind her ears, he smiled at her paws, which were white orange, and brown, multiple colors just like they were in person-form.</p>
<p>They looked like mittens.</p>
<p>He liked the nickname Mittens.</p>
<p>When he made it to the safety of the trees surrounding the willow he dropped the cloak and gently set down Mittens, pocketing the map and cloak.</p>
<p>"Hey, Fae. Wake up." he tapped her head, chuckling when the cat raised her head groggily.</p>
<p>"Time to go, can you hit the knot?" he asked, Mittens nodded and zoomed off.</p>
<p>A moment later the swinging branches came to a halt, prompting James to slip down the hole in the tree.</p>
<p>He saw Mittens pawing some insect on the tunnel floor and smiled.</p>
<p>"You can get on my antlers to sleep some more," he said, before turning into Prongs.</p>
<p>He felt the weight of the cat on his left antler, he shook his head slightly as he felt her begin to scratch at it.</p>
<p>
  <em>Cats.</em>
</p>
<p>The walk went by quickly, as they neared the door he could hear the scuttling of Wormtail. He nudged open the door with his right antler, he had asked Sirius to keep it open for him.</p>
<p>As he hooved up the stairs he could sense the excitement from Mittens, he was initially surprised that she wasn't scared, being such a small animal and all. But then he remembered Remus was her brother, she would never be afraid of him.</p>
<p>He was emerged into his own excitement when he saw Padfoot's tail wagging playfully facing Moony, who looked up at the scent of a new animal.</p>
<p><em>'Mittens friend. Mittens pack</em>.' Prongs communicated.</p>
<p>Moony looked around at his pack, relaxing when he saw their laid-back demeanor around the new mysterious animal.</p>
<p>He came up to sniff her out, she tilted her head in submission. Her scent was familiar to the wolf, and he had no problem with welcoming her into the pack already.</p>
<p>Padfoot barked and the two animals began to run around the shack, nipping playfully at each other.</p>
<p>Prongs had to shake Mittens off of his antlers when she wouldn't stop pawing and scratching at them, she landed swiftly on the floor with hardly any thud. And she strutted over to Wormtail, who slightly cowered away at the sight of a cat.</p>
<p>Prongs could sense her amusement when she playfully pawed at him and he scurried away from her.</p>
<p>The pack stayed in the shack all night, choosing not to venture out with a new pack member. They had a great time, and Faeryn couldn't be happier to be with her boys again, even if it was in animal form. How she missed them dearly.</p>
<p>Prongs and Mittens had to leave the shack before Remus transformed back, and they snuck back into her bed and plopped down exhausted, immediately getting swallowed by the darkness of sleep as soon as they hit the mattress.</p>
<p>Neither of them thought anything about them being in the same bed.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>"James Potter! Get out of that bed this <em>instant!</em>" they heard the protective voice of madam Pomfrey roar.</p>
<p>James jumped up and ended up rolling off the bed, hitting the tiled floor with a thud, eliciting a groan out of his mouth and a giggle from Faeryn above him.</p>
<p>"This is not a laughing matter, Miss Lupin! I do not take well to teenage boys sleeping in my patients' beds with them!" she yelled, as she set down a few potions on Fae's bedside table.</p>
<p>"Good morning to you too, Poppy," James grumbled, as he pulled himself up from the ground.</p>
<p>"He didn't do anything to you right—?" Pomfrey began protectively.</p>
<p>"No!" both James and Faeryn yelled quickly.</p>
<p>"Just wanted to make sure... here take this one first." She handed her a nasty-looking potion, Faeryn plugged her nose as she swallowed it, a grimace forming on her face.</p>
<p>"How are you liking the new blanket?" she asked as she set the now empty bottle down.</p>
<p>Faeryn's eyes widened, <em>a fuzzy blanket!</em></p>
<p>She hadn't even realized with the anxiety from last night and her exhaustion.</p>
<p>"It's absolutely fantastic! Thank you so much!" she thanked, smiling gratefully.</p>
<p>"You're in a good mood, hopefully Remus is too. I'm going to be quite fed up if I have to deal with a grumpy Remus <em>and</em> a sulking Potter." Pomfrey said.</p>
<p>"Sulking Potter?" he asked.</p>
<p>"Yes, did you not hear me last night?" she said</p>
<p>"I didn't think you were <em>serious!</em>"</p>
<p>"She's not Sirius she's—"</p>
<p>"If you finish that sentence you'll regret it." she heard a voice say from the door.</p>
<p>"Lily!" Faeryn said excitedly, she really <em>was</em> in a good mood today.</p>
<p>"Hey Fae, Kris was looking for you in the common room?" she said as she cast a nervous glance over to James.</p>
<p>"Oh? Did you tell her where I was?" she asked, a nervous bubble forming in her stomach</p>
<p>"No, didn't have to. Alice Fortescue told her," she said as she sat down on the edge of her bed.</p>
<p>"The seventh year?" asked Faeryn, Lily nodded in confirmation</p>
<p>"I bet she'll come in to visit you soon." She said, and James left the room as the girls dove into random conversations.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The four boys and Faeryn walked back to the common room that night after dinner after finally being released.</p>
<p>Kris never came to visit.</p>
<p>She had an anxious feeling flowing through her as she conversed with the boys on the way back, Remus looked thrilled to finally be talking to her again. She felt like she was betraying Kris' trust by being with them.</p>
<p>Though when the Fat Lady allowed them entrance to the common room, suddenly having Kris' trust didn't matter anymore.</p>
<p>And for some reason, seeing Kris deeply kissing a boy on the sofa didn't bother her as much as she would have initially thought it would.</p>
<p>The boys had walked through the portrait hole after her, their conversation immediately halting as they took in the sight in front of them.</p>
<p>Kris straddling a boy on the sofa. Faeryn starting at the two with a <em>smirk</em>.</p>
<p>"<em>Kris!</em> What a coincidence seeing you here, don't you think?" she said, as she slowly took steps closer to the pair.</p>
<p>The boy pulled away, turning to look at Faeryn with wide eyes. Kris looked fairly shocked at Fae's reaction.</p>
<p>"<em>Oh if you love me you'll stay away from them. I'll believe you if you stay away from them. I can't believe you would ever cheat on me, Faeryn! How could you do this to me?</em>" Faeryn mocked.</p>
<p>Her smirk dropped, "You see, <em>Welch</em>," she said her last name with venom, "The difference between us," she gestured between the two of them, "is that I didn't actually cheat on my girlfriend, now you're making me wish I really did." she spat.</p>
<p>She was now standing directly behind the sofa, staring deeply into Kris' unapologetic eyes, who was still straddling the faceless boy.</p>
<p>"Just so you know Welch, I spent all of last night with <em>each and every one</em> of them. And want to know something even funnier?" she leaned in so that their eyes were level, "I <em>slept</em> with <em>James</em> last night." she saw Remus' head snap to face James, whose back straightened at her lie. "Guess we both cheated," she spat, she inwardly smirked at Kris' expression and she turned on her heel and walked up the boys' stairs to the dormitory with her head held high and her posture sharp.</p>
<p>Though the moment her body fell limp onto Remus' bed she began to silently sob. It took everything in her not to break down in front of Kris.</p>
<p>The door flew open, and James came in swiftly trying to avoid Remus's piercing glare, which softened when he saw the state of his sister.</p>
<p>"I didn't sleep w-with James." she choked out, as she rested her head into her hands, desperately trying to hide her tears.</p>
<p>She felt the bed dip as Remus sat, she heard the curtains slide closed, and felt the popping of her ears as he placed a silencing charm.</p>
<p>As soon as he placed his arms around her she buried her head in his chest, loud sobs coming out of her mouth.</p>
<p>She knew Kris was too good to be true. Maybe she just wasn't made for love.</p>
<p>"I <em>loved</em> her, Rem." she choked out against his now soaked jumper.</p>
<p>"I know, I know," he whispered as he rubbed her back, allowing her to cry it out.</p>
<p>"It was all my fault," she hiccuped, "she probably realized how worthless I was and didn't lo-love me anymore." she had difficulty speaking fully formed sentences, as her body shook with sobs.</p>
<p>"No, don't <em>ever</em> say that. It wasn't your fault, Fae. It's all her loss, <em>her</em> loss." he whispered reassuringly, it didn't do much to help the thoughts running through Faeryn's head, though.</p>
<p>Her father had been right, no matter how much she denied it to him. He had been right, she wasn't lovable, no one would ever want her. She was lucky enough to have been with Kris for as long as she was, and even though 8 months wasn't much, she knew it was the most she'd ever get.</p>
<p>Her thoughts were crashing violently against each other in her head, all other thoughts had been drained with her tears, leaving her mind an empty palace for all her self-deprecating thoughts to now take over. All her beautiful views of the sunset and sunrise with Kris were now tainted with cloudy skies and the sun cowering away from her. Not even the sun could stand to touch her skin.</p>
<p>The warmness in her chest that had been cultivating over the past month back with Kris had been frosted over, leaving her lungs blue and dead, making it nearly impossible for her to breathe. The now fragile state of her lungs that were bound to shatter at the slightest touch. When she breathed in she was painfully aware of the new emptiness residing in her chest.</p>
<p>She was struggling to hold onto herself, to the part of herself that was confident, the part of her that stood up to her father's lies. Though now she was sure they weren't lies at all. Maybe that part of her needs to go, it seems it's never right. Making her believe she was enough to be loved by someone like Kris, enough to have such caring friends.</p>
<p>The part of her that she had worked so hard to compress was beginning to overpower the part of her that she loved, the part of her that deserved love at <em>all</em>. Faeryn was losing to her father, <em>still</em>, even after his death. He still had a full grasp on her and was still able to pollute her thoughts.</p>
<p>Faeryn wasn't sure if she had enough energy to fight it, enough energy to care.</p>
<p>Her vision had gone blank, she was catapulted into her thoughts, too focused to be able to process sight, smell, sound, or touch.</p>
<p>All she was able to do was think. And they were not good thoughts. They weren't even her own thoughts at all, they were all her fathers.</p>
<p>
  <em>'You deserved to die along with your mother.'</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'No one will ever love a girl like you.'</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'No wonder your mother decided to leave you, she didn't fight death because she couldn't stand to look at you.'</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'You and your brother deserve the pain you feel.'</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'You're worthless, and always will be.'</em>
</p>
<p>And they were all fighting for dominance in the forefront of her mind, she was unable to focus on one single thought to obsess over, unable to find any reason to prove them wrong.</p>
<p>He had said them so many times, and they had been proven true now, haven't they?</p>
<p>She really <em>was</em> worthless, no one would <em>ever</em> love her.</p>
<p>Her mind was running on overdrive, she was staring aimlessly as her mind blocked out the sound of her brother's reassurances from her ears.</p>
<p>She didn't want to hear his lies, everyone had been lying to her for far too long. She shouldn't have killed her father, he was the only one who would tell her the truth.</p>
<p>If she was conscious enough to listen to her loving brother, she would hear his loving words,</p>
<p>
  <em>'I love you so much, never forget that.'</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'You deserve so much better than her.'</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'You'll find true love someday.'</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'I'll always love you, nothing will ever change that.'</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'We'll all be here for you if you need us.'</em>
</p>
<p>But she heard none of it.</p>
<p>And all she heard were her thoughts, until it was too exhausting to even think anymore, and she was pulled into the emptiness of sleep.</p>
<p>
  <em>She felt their connection go slack, it began to stretch and break until it couldn't pull its weight anymore.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And then it was gone. There was no Remus connected to her, no static in her chest.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She felt herself slipping, if she didn't have Remus anymore, then why fight it? He was gone, lost along with everyone else.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The edges of her vision began to blur, her toes numbing and fingers falling cold. All her thoughts of her life began to play in the fronts of her mind, she smiled as she was able to live through them all a second time.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Her eyes only saw through a small tunnel, and her last sight was him lying on the floor, eyes open to the stars that she loved so much, only he was unable to see them.</em>
</p>
<p>She awoke with a gasp, breathing heavily as sweat dripped down her face and glued her hair to her forehead.</p>
<p>She held her hand to her chest, closing her eyes and sighing in great relief when she still felt Remus. He was still there.</p>
<p>She looked down to her right to see him peacefully sleeping next to her. He was okay.</p>
<p>She slowly and quietly slipped out of the bed, her bare feet hitting the wooden floor. She was unsure when her shoes were taken off of her feet, she couldn't remember ever taking them off. It was probably Remus.</p>
<p>She padded silently over to his bed, peeking behind his curtain to see his eyes closed, not open. And to see his chest rising with the intake of oxygen, not still.</p>
<p>He was okay too.</p>
<p>It was just a dream. Nothing more.</p>
<p>She turned and walked to her room shakily, trying to push the vision of <em>James</em> lying lifeless on the floor out of her mind.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. You'll Only End Up Hurt</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lily finds out what Kris did. The marauders pay a visit to the Ravenclaw common room.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chapter 17</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>you'll only end up hurt</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Faeryn skipped breakfast, much to Kris’s enjoyment.</p>
<p>The large group of Gryffindors could be seen glaring at her throughout the entire mealtime, while she laughed and smiled with her friends. She deliberately made it a show to grab one of the blokes and snog them at the table, until one of the prefects separated them.</p>
<p>Lily was fuming, she came to breakfast all happy and giddy. And then when Sirius explained what happened you could practically hold a match to her head and it would burn.</p>
<p>And then all Hell broke loose when Marlene sat down, after discovering the story from Remus in the common room earlier that day.</p>
<p>“I’m gonna— Merlin you have no idea how much I want to murder her right now—! I just heard her saying she doesn't even <em>like girls!</em> What does that mean? That it was all fake the whole time?!” She stabbed her fork forcefully into her food, a loud clang heard across the whole great hall.</p>
<p>And before anyone could stop her, Lily was already marching over to the Ravenclaw table, wand gripped furiously at her side. James followed close behind her in a similar manner, though nowhere near as intimidating as her, no one could be as intimidating as her.</p>
<p>Peter and Remus were hurrying to catch up, and struggled to get a hold of James, who was thrashing against them in an attempt to continue his pursuit to the table. The two didn't even try to subdue Lily, she was a lost cause. They would not be powerful enough for that in a <em>million</em> years.</p>
<p>Rowan's head snapped up at the sound of her girlfriend's name being shouted, and she frantically stood up from her seat and rushed to stand in front of her. She didn't know <em>why</em> her girlfriend was practically bursting at the seams, but she was sure that it would cause havoc if she let her continue.</p>
<p>“Rowan, <em>move</em>,” she grumbled.</p>
<p>“No, I won't. What's wrong, anyway?” she asked as she struggled to keep Lily back.</p>
<p>“Kris cheated on Faeryn. And do you want to know the lovely fact we learned this morning?” she asked, finally giving in to Rowan and going slack under her hold.</p>
<p>“Not really but you’re going to tell me anyway so—”</p>
<p>“She doesn't even like girls! It was all fake. <em>All</em> of it!” she interrupted.</p>
<p>The relief that Remus, Sirius, and Peter felt when Rowan came to stop Lily was quickly converted to panic when Rowan turned toward Kris with an identical fury to Lily’s.</p>
<p>James was standing next to Sirius, who was holding onto his arm to make sure he didn't try anything, and he was smiling when he saw Faeryn’s two best friends resume their race to the Ravenclaw table.</p>
<p>“Damnit!” Remus said in a hushed voice, “Wormtail watch James.” he grumbled, as he and Sirius rushed in an attempt to stop the two girls.</p>
<p>Peter stood wide-eyed, debating whether to listen to Remus or James, who was begging him to let him go.</p>
<p>“Welch!” roared Lily, Kris’s head snapped up with a knowing smirk, which dropped when she saw Lily and Rowan's faces.</p>
<p>The people sitting near Kris watched them with confused expressions and wide eyes at the sight of Lily Evans pointing her wand at someone <em>other</em> than James.</p>
<p>“You just think you're so funny, don't you?” she asked, a horrifying glint in her eyes aimed toward Kris.</p>
<p>“Whatever do you mean, Evans?” she asked, plastering on an innocent smile.</p>
<p>“Oh, don't make this worse for yourself—” Rowan started.</p>
<p>“Miss Evans, Miss Thatcher. Care to explain what is going on? Why do you have your wands aimed at a fellow student?” Professor McGonagall asked.</p>
<p>Remus and Sirius knew they wouldn't be able to stop the two girls, and instead ran to the teachers' table to demand McGonagall's help.</p>
<p>And when the Professor saw<em> Sirius Black</em>, of all people, begging for her to come to stop Lily and Rowan, she knew something was very wrong. Sirius Black never in a <em>million</em> years would even <em>consider</em> snitching on his friends.</p>
<p>Kris turned to her with a forced smile, “Good morning, professor. As you can see these two girls, both prefects, are <em>threatening</em> me for <em>no</em> reason!” she said, very convincingly.</p>
<p>McGonagall turned to Rowan and Lily, who were showering Kris with furious glares, “Is this true, ladies?” she asked firmly.</p>
<p>“Absolutely not, Professor. You see, darling Kris here has mistreated our friend, I’m sure if you knew what happened you would be <em>happy</em> to see what we've got planned for her.” Rowan said with a honey voice, which was eerie compared to the harsh words she was speaking.</p>
<p>“Well I’m afraid no matter what Miss Welch did, I cannot allow you to use your wands on another student. Come with me girls,” she turned away from them and began to walk out of the hall, “You too, boys.” she gestured to all four boys who were all scowling at Kris.</p>
<p>The big group all walked out of the hall, everyone who attended breakfast gawking at them.</p>
<p>They all followed Mcgonnagal to her office in silence, she transfigured chairs for all of them to sit in front of her desk.</p>
<p>“So, would anyone like to explain to me what has happened?” she asked as she leaned back in her chair.</p>
<p>The six students all looked at each other, not wanting to be the individual to explain.</p>
<p>Lily cleared her throat, “You see, professor. It’s really Faeryn’s business, and I don’t feel comfortable telling you without her permission.” she averted her gaze, not liking the fact she had to retain something from a teacher.</p>
<p>McGonagall took a moment to contemplate her words, “Very well, 30 points from Gryffindor and Ravenclaw for the disruption. Miss Evans, you will serve a detention with me Monday night. Miss Thatcher, I will speak to your head of house about your discipline.” she said as she reached for something under her desk.</p>
<p>Lily sat wide-eyed in her seat. <em>Detention?</em> Though after she thought about it, she didn't regret it at all.</p>
<p>Rowan looked proud, she leaned back in her seat with a smirk, arms crossed over her chest defiantly.</p>
<p>The boys looked nervous to be in McGonagall's office and not be in any trouble, it looked as though they were waiting for her to turn to them and issue them weeks of detention.</p>
<p>“Boys,” she started, they all straightened under her gaze, “Thank you for letting me know about the disruption.” she flashed them a tight-lipped smile and nodded at their stunned faces.</p>
<p>She placed a tin bucket on her desk and lifted the lid, tilting the tin to offer the contents, everyone took one of the pastries except for James, who was eyeing them with a suspectful glare.</p>
<p>“Have a biscuit, Potter,” she stated, and he greedily took a biscuit.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>“You <em>told</em> on <em>me?</em>” Lily spat once the group walked into the common room.</p>
<p>“You looked like you were gonna kill her!” Sirius replied.</p>
<p>“And you should have <em>let</em> me!” She shot back.</p>
<p>Sirius mumbled something under his breath. Lily snapped her gaze to face him, showering him with a sharp scowl.</p>
<p>“Don’t even act like you didn't want to kill her too, Black. I know if James wasn't stopped you would have happily hexed her along with him,” she said as she plopped onto one of the red sofas.</p>
<p>“Yeah, why <em>did</em> you stop me?” James grumbled as he joined Lily on the sofa, crossing his arms over his chest.</p>
<p>“She should have been expecting one of us to do something to her. No one messes with Faeryn. Not on my fucking watch.” he said firmly.</p>
<p>“<em>Honestly</em>, if she thinks she can just mess with her like that she won't live to see another day,” Lily grumbled.</p>
<p>The only time the two students could get along was when they were on the same side of an argument, especially if it was about one of their friends. <em>No one</em> messes with their friends, not if they can do anything about it. And they most definitely can do something about it most of the time.</p>
<p>Sirius watched the two silently, from the corner of his eye he saw the door to the girls' dormitory crack open.</p>
<p><em>Shit</em>, she was listening to the conversation.</p>
<p>He looked around the common room to see that everyone was either still at breakfast or occupied observing the two Gryffindors get along.</p>
<p>He quickly ran up to his dorm, flinging open James’ chest and snatching the cloak. He dropped it over his head and quietly walked down the stairs, he transformed into Padfoot at the foot of the girls' staircase.</p>
<p>He walked up the stairs, the ends of the cloak dragging behind him. He nudged the door open with his snout. He heard sniffling coming from Faeryn’s bed, his heart tugged painfully. Kris would pay for this.</p>
<p>“Remus I’m really not in the mood for another one of your—”</p>
<p>He shook off the cloak in the middle of her sentence, effectively shutting her up.</p>
<p>“Oh, hullo Padfoot.” she wiped her eyes, trying to hide any evidence of her tears. She scooted over in her bed and patted the now empty spot next to her.</p>
<p>“So, here’s what's gonna happen. I’m gonna act like you're just any random dog, and you're gonna act like this never fucking happened,” she stated, before wrapping her arms around him and shoving her face into his neck.</p>
<p>She ran her hands up and down his fur, he could feel the vibrations of her sobs in her neck. He sadly rested his head on hers, soft whimpers escaping his mouth.</p>
<p>As a dog, all he could smell was the sadness floating off of her. And the sheer power and concentration of it caused him to be upset too. Dogs were <em>excessively</em> sympathetic, he thought.</p>
<p>He felt the wetness of her tears coat the fur on his neck, and for a moment they sat there. Until she pulled away with a tightlipped smile on her face.</p>
<p>“Okay, sorry. Sirius, you can come back now.” and she rested against the back of her bed.</p>
<p>Padfoot nodded before jumping to the floor, and he grew back into Sirius.</p>
<p>“Hey, Fae,” he said as he plopped onto the foot of her bed, “I assume you heard us in the common room,” he said. She nodded.</p>
<p>“I’d rather not tell you why Lily and Rowan got detentions,” he mumbled.</p>
<p>“And I'd rather not know,” she remarked.</p>
<p>“You should have <em>seen</em> James.” he said with a chuckle, “I was sure he was going to snap her head off.” he smiled.</p>
<p>“I wish I was there for that, you should have taken a picture.” she smiled, though the tears were still rolling down her cheeks, it was a stomach-turning contrast. The happiest of happy mixing with the saddest of sad.</p>
<p>“Sirius you <em>asshole</em>, where did you go?!” James yelled from the common room.</p>
<p>“<em>Ah</em>. That’s my queue,” he flashed her a smile before he ran out of the common room and stepped onto the stairs, sliding down the charmed slide down to the common room.</p>
<p>Lily gaped at him, “How the <em>hell</em> did you get up there?!”</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jesus Christ, Padfoot! You’re so fucking heavy.” Remus grumbled, though Padfoot didn't take any offense. Remus was by far strong enough to be carrying him, being a werewolf and all. He swore he had super strength.</p>
<p>“I don't understand why you have to carry him, he can just walk on the ground!” James said in a hushed voice.</p>
<p>“Because knowing him he’ll see a bug and go rushing off!” Remus snapped back, still in a bit of a mood from the full moon that was only a few days prior.</p>
<p>“<em>Shh!</em> We’re here.” James said in a whisper.</p>
<p>The four Marauders were all stuffed under the cloak, they were all too tall to fit so Wormtail was perched on James' shoulder, Remus was grumpily holding Padfoot. Both Remus and James were too tall to stand under it, so they had to bend down to hide their feet.</p>
<p>Remus slipped his hand out from under the cloak, temporarily revealing the two boys holding animals, and he lifted his hand to the eagle knocker on the entrance to the Ravenclaw Common room.</p>
<p>“I speak without a mouth and hear without ears. I have no body, but come alive with the wind. What am I?” questioned the knocker.</p>
<p>James stared bewildered at the door, racking his brains to try and answer the question.</p>
<p>“Err, Remus?” he asked.</p>
<p>“Shut your mouth, I’m thinking,” he grumbled. James knew not to think anything of it, he got quite grumpy after the full moons.</p>
<p>“Sorry, just trying to help,” he mumbled, he heard Wormtail snicker in his rat form on his shoulder.</p>
<p>Remus visibly perked up, eyes twinkling in success.</p>
<p>“An echo,” he stated.</p>
<p>“Well thought out,” the knocker responded, and the door flipped open.</p>
<p>James and Remus glanced at each other before stepping into the common room. A few Ravenclaws looked up perplexed at the opening of the door with no student behind it. Though after a moment they returned their eyes to their books or other activities.</p>
<p>The common room was filled with students, even though it was about 10:00 at night, all studying relentlessly for the upcoming OWLs. Though there were a few stragglers who were sitting with friends and having conversations, one being Kris.</p>
<p>The group under the invisibility cloak slowly walked over to stand by the group of conversing Ravenclaws, who were all listening intently to an animated Kris.</p>
<p>“You should have seen her <em>face</em>! She walked in and her whole face just dropped it was great— yeah it was Snape's idea to be friends with her and everything, then I found out she was a <em>queer</em> and it was like it was meant to be.” she laughed.</p>
<p>“Oh! And you know what kept me with her for so long? As she was falling in love with me, that asshole <em>Potter</em> was falling in love with <em>her</em>, it was so painfully obvious, and he had to watch as she fell in love with someone else! Merlin, every time I walked into their common room he looked like a kicked puppy.” the three Ravenclaws laughed.</p>
<p>James’ stomach lurched, was it that <em>obvious?</em> And now that the idea was planted into Remus’ head would he notice? He definitely would, James was <em>far</em> too lucky that he hadn't noticed yet.</p>
<p>Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Remus staring at the group with furious eyes, he hoped none of that fury was aimed toward him.</p>
<p>“My brother and parents were so pleased when I brought her home for Christmas, they knew what I was playing at with her. They were happy to play along, knowing I’d break the <em>fag's</em> heart soon after that.” she chuckled, “But I couldn’t bring myself to break up with her, not when I was killing two birds with one stone. It gave me much amusement to kiss her in front of Potter, you could see his heartbreaking practically every time I—”</p>
<p>“We’re leaving,” James grumbled under his breath, before ushering the group of marauders out of the Ravenclaw common room.</p>
<p>The air was tense on the way back to the Gryffindor tower, both of the boys refusing to talk until they reached the common room.</p>
<p>“Benediximus,” James muttered to the portrait of the fat lady, who looked disapprovingly at the empty corridor, knowing there were students out after curfew.</p>
<p>After they had crawled through the portrait hole and dropped the cloak Wormtail and Padfoot grew back into Peter and Sirius, who awkwardly sat onto the sofa in front of the fireplace.</p>
<p>James stood tentatively next to the couch, watching with nervous anticipation as Remus paced in front of the fire, a hand running down his face.</p>
<p>“What was that about?” Remus asked finally.</p>
<p>James decided to play dumb, “what was what about?” he asked unconvincingly.</p>
<p>“You know <em>what</em>,” he said as he paused his pacing, freezing in front of the fireplace.</p>
<p>“Seriously, Moony. After <em>all</em> we heard, you want to talk about <em>that?</em>” he said, trying desperately to avoid the assured conversation.</p>
<p>“Yes, <em>James</em>. I want to talk about <em>that</em>.” he dropped his hand from his face, leaving it to hang limply at his side along with his other arm.</p>
<p>“And what, you <em>believe</em> her?” he said, trying to act like the accusation she made was a crazy idea, far from the truth. When he knew she had gotten his feelings correct to the dot. <em>Fucking Ravenclaws.</em></p>
<p>“I don't know, she sounded pretty believable don't you think?” he snapped, and the anger was not from the full moon.</p>
<p>“Come on, Remus, you know how good she is at lying! And you actually believe her? Don't you think you would have noticed by now if I was in <em>love</em> with your fucking sister?” he shot back.</p>
<p>“See, now that I think about it, I can understand what she means. The way that you <em>look</em> at her! There is more to that look than you <em>say</em> there is, James!” he yelled.</p>
<p>“You seriously cannot be taking the side of <em>Welch</em>, are you fucking kidding me Remus?!” he said in a hushed whisper, remembering that they were yelling in the common room late at night.</p>
<p>“I’m not taking the side of her, I’m simply branching off of what she said. And do you notice how you keep avoiding the subject? You're putting all the blame on <em>me and her</em>, instead of simply denying what I’m <em>asking!</em>” He stepped closer to him, and he pointed his finger to his chest.</p>
<p>“And what are you asking?” he shot back.</p>
<p>“Are you in love with her, James?” he asked.</p>
<p>James stared at him, his mouth opening and closing in uncertainty.</p>
<p>“No,” he mumbled, knowing he was lying.</p>
<p>“What was that?” he asked again.</p>
<p>“<em>No</em>, Remus I’m <em>not</em> in love with your sister!” he yelled, rather unconvincingly, and at that he turned on his heel and stormed up to their dormitory, aggressively closing the curtains around his bed.</p>
<p>He spent the rest of that night staring at the ceiling of his bed, his eyes running over the grain that enveloped the wood until he had it memorized, and could draw it as a replica from memory. Thoughts were running through his head at unrecognizable speeds, thoughts he knew he would have to abide by, no matter whether he wanted to or not.</p>
<p>
  <em>‘You have to forget about her,’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘She’ll never love you,’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘You’ll never be able to be with her,’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Remus will never forgive you,’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘You’ll only end up hurt,’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘You’ll only end up hurt,’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘You’ll only end up hurt,’</em>
</p>
<p>And that was the thought that was running through his head as his eyes closed, and he let the hands of sleep pull him under.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>“And what are you asking?” James asked.</p>
<p>“Are you in love with her, James?” Remus asked.</p>
<p>James stared at him, his mouth opening and closing in uncertainty.</p>
<p>“No,” he mumbled, it was obvious he was lying.</p>
<p>“What was that?” he asked again.</p>
<p>“<em>No</em>, Remus I’m <em>not</em> in love with your sister!” he yelled, rather unconvincingly, and at that, he turned on his heel and stormed up to their dormitory.</p>
<p>“He’s <em>definitely</em> in love with her,” Remus stated to himself, before silently walking up the stairs, Peter and Sirius following behind him tight-lipped.</p>
<p>Lily watched with wide eyes at the top of the girls' stairs, after hearing some muffled yelling out in the common room. She quietly came outside, sneakily setting a silencing charm around the boys. <em>Honestly</em>, they wouldn’t know what to do without her.</p>
<p>And she was standing there, her wand hanging loosely to her right, her mouth agape.</p>
<p><em>James was in love with Faeryn</em>, it was painfully obvious now that she thought about it.</p>
<p>She smiled to herself before retreating to her bed,</p>
<p>
  <em>She would help him get with her.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Lily watched as the boys conversed in hushed voices at dinner the next day, Remus and James sat as far away from each other as possible, and avoided speaking directly to each other.</p>
<p>Faeryn sat across from her with her head resting in her hand, her fork pushing and pulling the uneaten food on her plate.</p>
<p>“How is she friends with Snivellous?” Peter whispered to Sirius.</p>
<p>“Her older brother, they don't share the same last name for nothing,” he whispered back.</p>
<p>James continuously glanced down at his watch, smiling when he saw the long hand moving closer to where he so desperately wanted it.</p>
<p>“15 seconds!” he said in a hushed voice, the other boys halted their conversation and turned their heads to face the Ravenclaw table.</p>
<p>They all failed to hide their smiles when everyone's heads snapped to face Kris, who had just screamed bloody murder, hopping out of her chair.</p>
<p>She was frantically rubbing at her arms, hair, shirt, <em>anything</em> that she could reach. “Spiders! <em>Spiders!</em> Get them <em>off</em> of me!” she screamed.</p>
<p>Everyone looked at her with concern,<em> there were no spiders on her, what the hell is she talking about.</em></p>
<p>Lily, Faeryn, Marlene, and Mary all swerved to look at the marauders, knowing it was them who had somehow implanted the visions of spiders onto Kris’ body.</p>
<p>They were all watching the scene play out with a smile, except for James, who was staring with an unexplainable glint in his eyes at Faeryns’ smile. He hadn't seen her smile in what felt like so long.</p>
<p>Lily watched with a wide grin, how did she not realize earlier?</p>
<p>James mouthed to the girls, ‘I overheard her say she was afraid of spiders,’ and he turned to watch as the girl jumped around in her spot.</p>
<p>Dumbledore flicked his wand from his spot at the teacher's desk, and returned eating as if nothing gout of the ordinary had taken place. Though with the marauders as students, this was a fairly normal occurrence.</p>
<p>Kris snapped her head furiously to face the Gryffindor table, marching over to stand near the group of boys who were trying to look nonchalant.</p>
<p>“<em>You!</em>” she pointed directly to James, whose eyes widened.</p>
<p>“<em>Me?</em> Whatever do you mean, Welch?” he asked, a fake smile plastered on his face.</p>
<p>“<em>Ugh!</em>” she yelled, before turning on her heels and storming out of the great hall.</p>
<p>James felt the insistent gaze of someone to his left, and turned to look at Faeryn who was smiling proudly at him.</p>
<p>She mouthed ‘thank you’ before returning to face her food, shoving her first bite of the meal into her mouth happily.</p>
<p>James turned to look down at his lap, a goofy grin on his face. How could he ever forget about her? With a smile like that? He would be damned if he let Remus take that away from him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Filch in a Dress</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The 5th years take their OWLs, Snape experiences some trouble by the black lake.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chapter 18</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─<br/>Filch in a dress<br/>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>It was two weeks before OWLs, and the group of Gryffindors had been studying relentlessly, or trying to, at least.</p>
<p>"Can you guys take this seriously?" Lily snapped, temporarily averting her eyes from her book to scowl at James and Sirius, who were transfiguring their books into different trinkets.</p>
<p>They paused mid-laugh, returning their eyes to their books.</p>
<p>Marlene, Mary, Lily, and Faeryn were all sitting on one side of the table in the library. Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter were sitting across from them. Faeryn, Lily, and Remus were the only ones actually studying.</p>
<p>Marlene and Mary had their foreheads together and were whispering about Mary's boyfriend. Pete had his head resting in his hands, eyes opening and closing in an attempt to stay awake. James and Sirius were discussing new pranks to pull, they had been deprived of the opportunity during Lily's insistence on spending all their free time in the library studying for the OWLs.</p>
<p>"I think my eyes are going to fall out." Faeryn groaned, banging her head onto the table.</p>
<p>"I. Wanna. Die." Faeryn grumbled, each word punctuated with her hitting her forehead against the wood.</p>
<p>Remus reached across the table and placed his palm under her head. "Faeryn I have a headache," he mumbled under his breath through clenched teeth.</p>
<p>"I know you <em>wanker</em>, I can feel it too, you know," she whispered, snapping her book shut.</p>
<p>"The library closes in 30 minutes, and I'm going to bed," Faeryn said flinging her bag over her shoulder and shuffling out of the library.</p>
<p>Peter shot up in his seat, eyes wide after getting scared out of his dream. "I'm going to bed, too" he mumbled, and he stood up, leaving his bag and books and he lazily walked out of the library.</p>
<p>Everyone eventually bid their goodnights, all heading to bed. Lily and Remus stayed in the library, and eventually got lost in their studying before the lights shut off, leaving them in the dark.</p>
<p>"Damnit," Remus muttered, pulling out the map from his bag and whispering "Lumos," lighting up the empty piece of parchment.</p>
<p>Lily rolled her eyes, "How is that gonna help us—"</p>
<p>"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," he muttered, and Lily's eyes widened as she watched ink bleed all over the parchment.</p>
<p>"Remus how long have you had—"</p>
<p>"Shit, shit, shit!" he said in a hushed voice, "Pince is coming over here right now," he whispered, "Go, go, go!" he said hushed as he dragged Lily into one of the aisles, keeping his eyes on the map as he pulled her along.</p>
<p>They weaved through the shelves, the books surrounding them as Remus worked to get them out of the library. They both let out sighs of relief as they reached the doors of the library, and made their way back to the common room.</p>
<p>Remus kept his eyes glued to the map to avoid any prefects or Filch.</p>
<p>"So," Lily began as they were walking quietly through the corridors, Remus glanced at her before returning his eyes to the parchment in his hand, "What's been going on between you and Potter?"</p>
<p>"Nothing, we're fine," he said,</p>
<p>"I heard you in the common room a few weeks ago, you guys weren't exactly quiet." she chuckled.</p>
<p>"Oh, you heard that?" he asked, as he dragged her into a broom closet to avoid Filch.</p>
<p>"Yeah, and I think you need to give Potter a break," she mocked gagging, "And that's <em>me</em> saying that, so you know I mean it." she scrunched her nose in distaste, quit disliking the idea of backing up James.</p>
<p>"Why would I do that, he knows she's off-limits. And he still goes and falls in love with her," he grumbled.</p>
<p>"She's not <em>off-limits</em>, she's a big girl, Remus, she can decide for herself who she wants to date. You don't get to do that for her before she has a chance to even know he's interested in her," she said gently.</p>
<p>Remus huffed, "I'm just trying to protect her. I obviously didn't do a good enough job with Kris, so now I will do a good job. He's <em>not</em> dating her, I won't let him. He has half of the school swooning over him, can't he pick one of those girls?" he said as he messed with the sleeve of his jumper.</p>
<p>"The heart wants what it wants, it's not James' fault his picked Faeryn," she whispered as she glanced at the map, noticing they were in the clear and dragging him out of the closet.</p>
<p>He practically pouted the whole way up to the portrait of the fat lady, and as he bid his goodnight to Lily he muttered "fine," as his answer to her earlier scowling, and he turned and ventured up to his room.</p>
<p>Lily ran up to her room, Flinging back Marlene's curtains, "Marlene!" she whispered, Marlene groaned.</p>
<p>"I did it! Step one is officially complete," she smirked, flopping onto her bed in success.</p>
<p>Remus opened the door to his dorm. He plopped onto his bed exhausted, closing his eyes in relaxation, but he yelped when he felt a hand wrap around his mouth.</p>
<p>"Shh!" Sirius whispered, Remus immediately relaxed when he realized it was him.</p>
<p>Remus put up a silencing charm, "Why the hell are you in my bed, you psycho!" he said, his lips tugging into a smile.</p>
<p>"I saw James put something in my bed and did not want to face the wrath of whatever product he was testing. And what, I can't sleep in the same bed as my boyfriend?" he flashed him a smile.</p>
<p>"Well you've never done that before so I apologize for thinking—"</p>
<p>Remus was cut off with a passionate kiss, he felt Sirius grin against his lips.</p>
<p>Remus rolled his eyes but returned the kiss, pulling away to mutter "I should have known you didn't want to cuddle," against his lips, before smashing them together again.</p>
<p>Sirius groaned as Remus bit his bottom lip with his teeth, eliciting a smirk to form on Remus' face.</p>
<p>That smirk quickly dropped when Sirius lifted himself up to hover over Remus, and began kissing down his neck.</p>
<p>He pulled away to remove his big jumper, throwing it somewhere behind his head. He returned his lips to his neck, smirking as Remus hissed when he sucked on a particular spot under his ear.</p>
<p>"Merlin, Padfoot," he gasped, and the sound traveled directly to Sirius' dick, a buzzing heat forming in his core.</p>
<p>Remus' fingers gripped under the seam of his old t-shirt, and Sirius allowed him to pull it over his head. His eyes fluttered shut as Remus ran his hands down his chest.</p>
<p>"Merlin, Moony, I'm so in love with you," he muttered, Remus paused when his words processed in his mind. The confession bouncing around in his skull until the words didn't sound real.</p>
<p>Sirius sat straddled on his hips, biting his lips in nervous anticipation. Would he think it's too soon? Would he push him off? Break up with him?</p>
<p>His mind went blank when Remus gripped the back of his neck and slammed their lips together roughly, tongue against tongue, teeth banging against each other.</p>
<p>Remus gasped as he felt Sirius' cold fingers reach under the hem of his trousers and boxers, he nodded against his lips in consent.</p>
<p>At the feeling of his head nodding in approval, Sirius pulled down both pairs of clothing frantically.</p>
<p>Remus groaned as Sirius' hand wrapped around him, tugging up and down.</p>
<p>Sirius dragged his tongue down his chest, stopping to hover in between his legs, eyes glancing up at his flushed face and red plump lips, the slowly forming purple marks on his jaw and neck. <em>God</em>, he would do anything for this man.</p>
<p>Remus wanted to save this image forever, the sight of Sirius hovering over him, lips red and swollen, his hand tugging up and down against his—</p>
<p>Remus' eyes rolled back into his head as Sirius licked a thick strip up his dick, his thumb rubbing circles on his hip.</p>
<p>"Holy shit—" he cut off his own sentence with a low moan as Sirius took him into his mouth, swirling his tongue around his tip. Remus was breathing heavily, one hand gripped tightly to the sheets, the other tangled in his hair.</p>
<p>He gasped as Sirius took him in further, his nose hitting his stomach, Remus' tip hitting the back of his throat. Sirius moaned around him, and the vibrations caused Remus' to clench his abs.</p>
<p>His cheeks hollowed around him as he moved up and down, slackening his jaw to take him in further. Remus' head dropped against his pillow, but he quickly snapped it up again to watch with parted lips and droopy eyelids as Sirius looked back at him.</p>
<p>He felt the familiar heat boiling in his core, signaling he was close to his high.</p>
<p>"Pads, I'm close," he muttered.</p>
<p>And the high he was trying to prolong finally took over him when Sirius dragged his hand into his trouser and groaned around him.</p>
<p>The vibrations and the sight of Sirius pleasuring himself caused his vision to be overtaken by stars and whiteness, his head dropped sleepily against his pillow as he rode out his high.</p>
<p>"I'm in love with you too, Padfoot," he whispered when the shocks of his orgasm subdued.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>(The next few paragraphs are taken directly from J.K. R*owling, I do not claim any of her quotes or her dialogue.)</strong>
</p>
<p>The week of OWLs was insanely draining for the group of Gryffindors.</p>
<p><strong>There</strong> were more than a hundred smaller tables, all facing the same way, at each of which sat a student, he bent low, scribbling on a roll of parchment. The only sound was the scratching of quills and the occasional rustle as somebody adjusted their parchment.</p>
<p>Sunshine was streaming through the high windows onto the bent heads, which shone chestnut and copper and gold in the bright light.</p>
<p>James yawned hugely and rumpled up his hair, making it even messier than it had been. Then, with a glance toward Professor Flitwick, he turned in his seat and grinned at Sirius sitting four seats behind him.</p>
<p>Sirius gave James a thumbs up. Sirius was lounging in his chair at his ease, tilting it back on two legs.</p>
<p>Remus looked rather pale and peaky and was absorbed in the exam: as he reread his answers, he scratched his chin with the end of his quill, frowning slightly.</p>
<p>Peter looked anxious; he was chewing his fingernails, staring down at his paper, scuffling the ground with his toes. Every now and then he gazed hopefully at his neighbor's paper.</p>
<p>James was doodling on a bit of scrap parchment. He had drawn a snitch and was tracing the letters 'F.L.'.</p>
<p>"Quills down, please!" squeaked Professor Flitwick. "That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment! Accio!"</p>
<p>Over a hundred rolls of parchment zoomed into the air and into Professor Flitwick's outstretched arms, knocking him backward off his feet. Several people laughed. A couple of students at the front desks got up, took hold of Professor Flitwick beneath the elbows and lifted him back to his feet.</p>
<p>"Thank you... thank you," panted Professor Flitwick. "Very well, everybody you're free to go!"</p>
<p>James hastily crossed out the 'F.L.' he had been embellishing, jumping to his feet, and stuffing his quill and the exam paper into his bag, which he slung over his back, and stood waiting for Sirius to join him.</p>
<p>"Did you like question ten, Moony?" asked Sirius as they emerged into the entrance hall.</p>
<p>"Loved it," said Remus briskly. "Give five signs that identify the werewolf. Excellent question."</p>
<p>"D'you think you managed to get all the signs?" said James in tones of mock concern.</p>
<p>"Think I did," said Remus seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit grounds. "One: he's sitting on my chair. Two: he's wearing my clothes. Three: his name is Remus Lupin."</p>
<p>Peter was the only one who didn't laugh.</p>
<p>"I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes and the tufted tail," he said anxiously, "but I couldn't think what else—"</p>
<p>"How thick are you, Wormtail?" said James impatiently. "You run round with a werewolf once a month—"</p>
<p>"Keep your voice down," implored Remus.</p>
<p>"Well, I thought that paper was a piece of cake," Sirius said, "I'll be surprised if I don't get 'Outstanding' on it at least.</p>
<p>"Me too," said James. He put his hand in his pocket and took out a struggling Golden Snitch.</p>
<p>"Where'd you get that?"</p>
<p>"Nicked it," said James casually. He started playing with the Snitch, allowing it to fly as much as a foot away before seizing it again; his reflexes were excellent. Peter watched him in awe.</p>
<p>They stopped in the shade of a beech tree on the edge of the lake and threw themselves down on the grass.</p>
<p>The sunlight was dazzling on the smooth surface of the lake, on the bank of which Faeryn, Marlene, Lily, and Mary who had just left the Great Hall were sitting, with their shoes and socks off, cooling their feet in the water.</p>
<p>Remus had pulled out a book and was reading. Sirius stared around at the students milling over the grass, looking rather haughty and bored.</p>
<p>James was still playing with the Snitch, letting it zoom further and further away, almost escaping but always grabbed at the last second. Wormtail was watching him with his mouth open. Every time James made a particularly difficult catch, Wormtail gasped and applauded.</p>
<p>James had a habit of rumpling up his hair as though to keep it from getting too tidy, and he also kept looking over at the girls by the water's edge.</p>
<p>"Put that away, will you," said Sirius finally, as James made a fine catch and Peter let out a cheer, "before Wormtail wets himself with excitement."</p>
<p>Peter turned slightly pink, but James grinned.</p>
<p>"If it bothers you," he said, stuffing the Snitch back in his pocket.</p>
<p>"I'm bored," said Sirius.</p>
<p>"We've still got Transfiguration, if you're bored you could test me. Here..." and Remus held out his book.</p>
<p>But Sirius snorted. "I don't need to look at that rubbish, I know it all."</p>
<p>This'll liven you up, Padfoot," said James quietly. "Look who it is..."</p>
<p>Sirius's head turned. He became very still, like a dog that has scented a rabbit.</p>
<p>"Excellent," he said softly. "Snivellus."</p>
<p>Snape was on his feet, and was stowing the OWL paper in his bag. As he left the shadows of the bushes and set off across the grass, Sirius and James stood up.</p>
<p>Remus and Peter remained sitting: Remus was still staring down at his book, though his eyes were not moving and a faint frown line had appeared between his eyebrows; Peter was looking from Sirius and James to Snape with a look of avid anticipation on his face.</p>
<p>"All right, Snivellus?" said James loudly.</p>
<p>Snape reacted so fast it was as though he had been expecting an attack: dropping his bag, he plunged his hand inside his robes and his wand was halfway into the air when James shouted, "Expelliarmus!"</p>
<p>Snape's wand flew twelve feet into the air and fell with a little thud in the grass behind him. Sirius let out a bark of laughter.</p>
<p>"Impedimenta!" he said, pointing his wand at Snape, who was knocked off his feet halfway through a dive towards his own fallen wand.</p>
<p>Students all around had turned to watch. Some of them had got to their feet and were edging nearer. Some looked apprehensive, others entertained.</p>
<p>Snape lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advanced on him, wands raised, James glancing over his shoulder at the girls at the water's edge as he went. Peter was on his feet now, watching hungrily, edging around Remus to get a clearer view.</p>
<p>"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" said James.</p>
<p>"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," said Sirius viciously. "There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."</p>
<p>Several people watching laughed. Peter sniggered shrilly. Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.</p>
<p>"You — wait"' he panted, staring up at James with an expression of purest loathing, "you — wait!"</p>
<p>"Wait for what?" said Sirius coolly. "What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"</p>
<p>Snape let out a stream of mixed swear words and hexes, but with his wand ten feet away nothing happened.</p>
<p>"Wash out your mouth," said James coldly. "Scourgify!"<br/>Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape's mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him—</p>
<p>"Leave him ALONE!" Lily roared.</p>
<p>"Oh, hullo Evans, Lupin."</p>
<p>"Leave him alone," Lily repeated. She was looking at James with every sign of great dislike. "What's he done to you?"</p>
<p>"Well," said James, "It wasn't what he did to me, more what he did to <em>your</em> best friend," he said, looking directly at Faeryn.</p>
<p>Remus was still staring intently at his book.</p>
<p>"What are you even <em>talking</em> about—?" Faeryn questioned.</p>
<p>Behind him, the Impediment Jinx was wearing off.</p>
<p>Snape was beginning to inch towards his fallen wand, spitting out soapsuds as he crawled.</p>
<p>"OI!" Sirius alerted.</p>
<p>But too late; Snape had directed his wand straight at James; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James's face, spattering his robes with blood. James whirled about: a second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside-down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of greying underpants.</p>
<p>Many people in the small crowd cheered; Sirius, James and Peter roared with laughter.</p>
<p>Lily, whose furious expression had twitched for an instant as though she was going to smile, said, "Let him down!"</p>
<p>"Certainly," said James and he jerked his wand upwards; Snape fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Sirius said, "Petrificus Totalus!" and Snape keeled over again, rigid as a board.</p>
<p>"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.</p>
<p>"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," said James earnestly.</p>
<p>"Take the curse off him, then!"</p>
<p>James sighed deeply, then turned to Snape and muttered the counter-curse.</p>
<p>"You'll get what you deserve," he said darkly, as Snape struggled to his feet. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus —"</p>
<p>"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"</p>
<p>Lily blinked.</p>
<p>"Fine," she said coolly. "I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, <em>Snivellus</em>."</p>
<p>"Apologise to Evans!" Faeryn roared at Snape, her wand pointed threateningly at him.</p>
<p>"I don't have to do anything <em>you</em> say—" he began.</p>
<p>There was another flash of light, and Snape was once again hanging upside-down in the air.</p>
<p>"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's <strong>pants?"</strong> Faeryn said with a grin.</p>
<p>"Oh, he deserves <em>much</em> more than that," James muttered.</p>
<p>Lily plopped down next to Remus, watching the scene play out. He glanced up at her before returning his gaze to his book.</p>
<p>"What did he mean? What did Snape do?" she whispered to him.</p>
<p>He paused before muttering "It was his idea for Kris to mess with Fae."</p>
<p>Lily's mouth dropped open before she closed it, and proceeded to open it again. Her mouth opened and closed like a fish until her eyebrows furrowed angrily and she stood up, marching over to where Snape was locked under petrificus totalus, James and Faeryn happily drawing on his face.</p>
<p>"Snivellus," she spat, "I heard about the fantastic idea you came up with." she smiled horrifyingly at him.</p>
<p>You could see the fear overtake his eyes as her words processed.</p>
<p>She muttered the counter curse, his legs and arms separating. He fell to the ground, quickly sputtering up to his feet. James and Faeryn backed away, allowing Lily to step closer to him.</p>
<p>"Lily, it wasn't my idea—!" he started terrified.</p>
<p>"Silencio!" she yelled, and his mouth continued to move frantically, but no sound was coming out of his lips.</p>
<p>"I trusted you! I always backed you up! And then you go and—"</p>
<p>"What's going on here?" the voice of Flitwick squeaked.</p>
<p>Lily quickly slipped her wand into the hem of her skirt.</p>
<p>"Nothing, Professor!" She said with a forced smile on her face.</p>
<p>Flitwick looked hesitant to trust her, but still nodded and said, "Very well, everyone please return to your common room," he turned and walked back to the castle.</p>
<p>Everyone groaned, wanting to stay outside for a bit longer, but still heading back to their common rooms.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>"Prongs, I hope your parents know they don't have to let us stay with you. Fae and I can find an apartment or something," he muttered as he organized his belongings into his trunk.</p>
<p>"<em>What?!</em> No! You're staying with us! No question about it," he yelled quickly, as he shoved his last remaining items into his trunk randomly, struggling to shut the lid.</p>
<p>"Be glad Moony, I have to go back to live with my dearest mother and father for the next two months," Sirius mumbled, shutting his trunk loudly.</p>
<p>"Pads you know you're welcome to stay with us—" James began.</p>
<p>"I would love to, you know that. But I have to go back and be with Regulus," he plopped onto his stripped bed.</p>
<p>"Regulus can stay with us, too—"</p>
<p>"Hilarious, Prongs. Not gonna happen." Sirius said, and the four boys levitated their trunks down to the common room, which was filled with students running around looking for lost trinkets or pets.</p>
<p>"I'll just call you on the mirror, it'll be like I'm there with you," he smiled at Remus.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The four boys were laughing as they opened the door to what they <em>thought</em> was their usual train compartment, their laughter halting as they saw who was in there.</p>
<p>Rowan was straddling Lily's hips, their lips locked in a deep kiss. Rowan pulled away, turning to look at the boys with a smirk on her face, "Enjoying the show, boys?" she laughed, Lily's face flushed red.</p>
<p>Marlene pushed through the group of boys with a chuckle on her lips, "Don't act so surprised, you look as if you've never snogged someone before," she grinned.</p>
<p>Peter averted his eyes, his neck burning red. The other boys burst into laughter at his face.</p>
<p>James mumbled something under his breath before he turned to continue to the right compartment, freezing mid-step when he saw Faeryn and Mary walking toward him with smiles on their faces, deep in conversation.</p>
<p>A small smile formed on his face, and he continued walking to their compartment. At least she was happy. Even if that meant he'd never have her, at least she was happy.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The boys were conversing about potential pranks they could pull the next year when the door of their compartment slid open.</p>
<p>Faeryn walked in with the ghost of a laugh on her face, "Lily and Rowan kicked us out," she muttered sleepily, before plopping onto the seat between Peter and James.</p>
<p>"Continue with your conversation, I'm going to take a nap," she mumbled, and she plopped her feet into Peter's lap, and then dropped her head into James's lap.</p>
<p>His eyes widened, <em>fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.</em></p>
<p>He glanced up at Remus, who was trying to hide his look of discomfort.</p>
<p>Remus pursed his lips together, before turning to Sirius and continuing his conversation.</p>
<p>James sighed in relief, and then straightened his back when the scene actually settled in his mind.</p>
<p>Faeryn was in his <em>lap</em>, <em>Faeryn</em> was in <em>his lap</em>, <em>Faeryn was in his lap!</em></p>
<p>He dropped his head against the back of his seat, trying to think of anything to distract him</p>
<p>
  <em>'McGonagall giving me detention,'</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'Being naked in front of the whole school,'</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'Filch in a dress,'</em>
</p>
<p><em>Yes,</em> that would do. And for the rest of the hours in the train, he repeatedly pictured Filch waltzing around in a ditzy dress.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Bloody Nose</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The girls go to Marlene. Faeryn gets a bloody nose, and mentally, James does too.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chapter 19</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─<br/>bloody nose<br/>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>"Tinker Bell," James whispered.</p>
<p>Faeryn groaned and shifted in her spot, James breath hitched. <em>Stop moving, stop moving, stop moving. </em></p>
<p>"Hey, Faeryn! Wake up you dumbass." Remus yelled from his seat.</p>
<p>Faeryn jumped up with wide eyes, "Sorry!" she cradled her head.</p>
<p>"Er, someone's waiting for you," Sirius laughed.</p>
<p>Faeryn snapped her head up to look at Marlene and Lily grinning at her through the glass.</p>
<p>Faeryn popped up in her seat, pressing a kiss to Remus' cheek, "See you in a week," and she turned and slid open the door.</p>
<p>"Bye, boys!" she called over her shoulder, and the three girls went to join Mary on the platform laughing and smiling as Lily retold what happened during the train ride with a red face.</p>
<p>All four Gryffindor girls would be spending the first week of summer vacation at Marlene's house, and then Faeryn would be going to spend the rest of the break at the Potters.</p>
<p>The girls had planned to ask Marlene's older brother Danny to take them to a muggle concert, which Mary was incredibly excited for, being a pureblood and all.</p>
<p>Marlene had been to multiple concerts over the years, Danny had a weird obsession with going to them, and Marls always found a way to convince him to take her. She was incredibly excited to go with her friends.</p>
<p>Lily had gone to a small number of concerts with her sister Petunia, but she confirmed that they were not fun at all, and quite boring. Though it was most definitely Petunia's pick of bands.</p>
<p>Faeryn hadn't gone to a concert since she was nine when she had been friends with a muggle girl named Jessie who lived in her neighborhood. Jessie's mom had offered to take Remus and Fae to a concert over the weekend, only Faeryn was allowed to go. Lyall didn't want Remus going to something so 'girly'.</p>
<p>Lyall banned her from being friends with Jess after that.</p>
<p>Faeryn's only friend was Remus.</p>
<p>And now she was going to a concert with three of her best friends.</p>
<p>Fuck you, Lyall.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>"We come from the land of the ice and snow—!</p>
<p>From the midnight sun where the hot springs blow—!</p>
<p>How soft your fields so green,"</p>
<p>Only Faeryn and Marlene knew the words. But Lily and Mary were still jumping up and down, bobbing their heads to the music.</p>
<p>Faeryn knew almost every song the band had played, from Sirius of course. Marlene from Danny, who would force her to spend every free moment during breaks listening to his favorite bands, though she didn't mind.</p>
<p>Danny had ventured off somewhere into the crowd, Faeryn and Marlene had smuggled in some firewhiskey, which was quite easy considering they were witches going against muggles.</p>
<p>Faeryn was thriving under the heat of alcohol, Mary was practically falling over her feet. Lily had surprisingly been drinking consistently through the night, her vision beginning to blur and her thoughts beginning to merge.</p>
<p>Marlene and Faeryn were grabbing onto each other's arms, pulling each other up and down into a drunken jump, stumbling around in the thick crowds of stoned and buzzed muggles.</p>
<p>"Merlin, Sirius would be having an <em>aneurysm</em> right now!" Faeryn said loudly to be heard behind the crowd and the blasting music.</p>
<p>"You know," Marlene began, trailing her eyes up and down Faeryn's figure, which was covered in a short leather skirt and a tight tank top, she looked <em>hot</em>, "So would James," She said with a grin, nudging Lily next to her. "Don't you agree, Lils?"</p>
<p>"Hmm?" She took a sip of her drink, eyes trailing along her outfit, "Oh, yes. Poor Potter would be dropped dead on the floor right now," she smirked, turning back to face the stage.</p>
<p>Faeryn furrowed her eyebrows and took a large gulp of her drink, "What are you even talking about?" she asked, a confused smile on her face.</p>
<p>Marlene turned to Lily with a smirk, "I have a feeling you'll be finding out soon enough," she said loudly, before returning her gaze to watch the stage in front of her, beginning to jump up and down along with the crowd.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The rest of the week was filled with late nights of gossiping and random board games found in Marlene's attic.</p>
<p>Danny would occasionally pop into their room with a bag full of clanging bottles, and the girls would wake up with massive hangovers and heavy headaches, but Faeryn didn't think she'd ever had more fun.</p>
<p>Faeryn wouldn't lie and say that there weren't any tears when they all left the Mckinnon's home, they were hormonal teenagers, can you blame them?</p>
<p>Though she was unexplainably excited to see Remus again, they hardly ever spend this much time apart.</p>
<p>She took a deep breath as she stepped into the Mckinnon's fireplace, calling out "Potter Manor!" in a loud and clear voice.</p>
<p>She swallowed deeply as she grabbed her bag and trunk and took the first step into the main living room of the Potter house. Would the Potter's want her to leave? They had no obligation to let her live there, it's not like James <em>wanted</em> to be friends with her. So would they kick her out after they realized who she was? How she acted?</p>
<p>Her heart was beating fast as doubts began to pool into her mind, she dug her nail into her thigh subconsciously.</p>
<p>The door to the kitchen swung open, Miss Potter walking in with a smile on her face, her arms wide in embrace, "Faeryn! Welcome, welcome! Oh, do come in, yes, yes. Bobbin can take your bags to your room." she enveloped her in a hug, "The boys are up in James' room if you want to say hello," she nodded.</p>
<p>Faeryn gave her a warm smile, before slowly walking up the elegant stairs, her finger trailing along the banister.</p>
<p>She walked past the many doors in the hallway leading to James' room at the end of the hall, her eyebrows furrowed when she saw her name on the doorknob of the room across from James's room. That wasn't her room last time? She surely wasn't complaining, she was very thankful for a room to live in at all.</p>
<p>She turned the doorknob on James' room and pushed open the door, a smile falling onto her face.</p>
<p>Bobbin was running around the room with a happy look on her face.</p>
<p>Pete was pouting in a chair in the corner of the room, Remus was sitting on the edge of James' bed laughing. James was walking back and forth in the middle of his room, putting on a mock fashion show.</p>
<p>They were all in <em>dresses</em>.</p>
<p>With <em>makeup</em> on.</p>
<p>Faeryn fell to the floor in laughter.</p>
<p>James snapped around to face the door at the sound of her laugh, he rubbed at his eyes in an attempt to get the eye makeup off, but all it did was smudge the eyeliner around his face.</p>
<p>"Faeryn!" he yelled in surprise.</p>
<p>Peter sunk further into his chair in embarrassment, Remus just began to laugh harder. He was quite used to getting forced into tight dresses from when he and Faeryn were younger.</p>
<p>"You guys look fantastically dazzling," Faeryn said in a posh voice, standing up and faking a curtsey with the hem of her jacket.</p>
<p>James wanted to avert his eyes in embarrassment, but just couldn't bring himself to look away from her.</p>
<p>Her hair was messy and falling in her face, light brown and blonde strands slightly curled in front of her eyes. Her cheeks were flushed with laughter, eyes slightly watering from the sight in front of her.</p>
<p>She was in loose grey sweatpants, but had a tight tank top and a <em>leather fucking jacket</em> atop of it. One sleeve had fallen down her shoulder while she was on the floor, exposing her tanned collarbone.</p>
<p>He internally groaned, forcing his eyebrows away from her. How much he wanted to sink his teeth into—</p>
<p><em>Oh, mother of fucking Merlin.</em> He just imagined that in front of Faeryn and Remus. He should just <em>off</em> himself at this point.</p>
<p>"How was your week?" Remus asked, after threatening James with a sharp look as if he could read his thoughts.</p>
<p><em>Oh, fuck</em> what if he could read his thoughts? Was that even possible? He was fairly sure it was, <em>oh no</em> Remus was going to murder him, like actually <em>genuinely</em> murder him. Maybe it ran in the family—</p>
<p>"Oh, it was fantastic! The girls and I went to this muggle concert, it was Led Zepplin, actually. Marlene said that Sirius and James would have had aneurysms if they came—"</p>
<p>"Why would I have an aneurysm, I don't have an unhealthy obsession with muggle bands?" James asked.</p>
<p>"I er... don't actually know. They kinda smirked at each other and laughed but didn't really go into detail," She furrowed her eyebrows, "Anyway it was so cool, and this guy we met there gave me this jacket! S'not really my thing though, more into jumpers and stuff," She smiled as she slipped it off.</p>
<p>James kept his eyes glued to the ceiling.</p>
<p>
  <em>Don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look.</em>
</p>
<p>He hated being a teenager.</p>
<p>"I see you guys have been having quite some fun here," she grinned.</p>
<p>Bobbin perked up, "Yes we have! They finally let me dress them up! Don't they look beautiful?" she asked, her eyes wide and a smile overtaking her face.</p>
<p>Fae scanned her eyes to look at Pete, then Remus, and finally James.</p>
<p>James who was looking at the ceiling with a red face and was playing with his hands, James with smudged eyeliner and his bottom lip pulled in between his teeth.</p>
<p>James who sighed and then pulled off the dress right in front of her, standing proudly in his boxers and showing off his abs, his <em>fucking abs.</em> When did he get those? James who slipped on his grey sweatpants but didn't care to throw on a shirt.</p>
<p>James who was standing there doing nothing, but still giving her butterflies. And she didn't know why.</p>
<p>"Yes," She said staring directly at James with a dazed look in her eyes, "They look beautiful." and she turned on her heel and walked across the hallway into her room, plopping onto her bed.</p>
<p>Why did she get butterflies?</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yes! And they got mad at me when they thought I cheated on them with Sirius, which I most definitely did not.</p>
<p>And then they told me to stay away from all of them, Rem included. Can you believe that? And—"</p>
<p>"Faeryn, darling. You can just say her name, all of the use of 'they' is getting quite confusing." said Euphemia Potter.</p>
<p>Faeryn's voice got caught in her throat.</p>
<p>"Honey I may be old, but I don't care that you date girls," she said sweetly.</p>
<p>Faeryn cleared her throat, "Sorry, yes er... Her name is Kris. Anyway, the boys and I walked into the common room, and there she was, snogging some guy."</p>
<p>Euphemia gasped.</p>
<p>"I know, right!" Faeryn agreed.</p>
<p>Euphemia held out her hand in front of Fae's face, Faeryn pulled a hair tie off of her wrist and placed it into her palm.</p>
<p>Mia had dragged Faeryn into the library to 'bond' and Faeryn was happy to oblige. Fae was currently sitting on the floor of the library, Mia sat behind her in a chair. She was plaiting her hair into two dutch braids while Faeryn told stories of the school year.</p>
<p>"And then we found out she didn't even like girls!"</p>
<p>Mia gasped again.</p>
<p>"Yeah, yeah. So it was all fake the whole time, a plan by the Slytherin cronies to have a bit of a laugh," she scoffed.</p>
<p>"I'm sure you've heard James talking about Snape before?" Fae asked</p>
<p>"Er... no I don't believe so," Mia said.</p>
<p>"Oh yeah sorry. Snivellus?" she rephrased.</p>
<p>"Oh! Yes, yes. I've definitely heard of him," she assured.</p>
<p>"Yeah, well. It apparently was his idea. Oh, Lily was furious! And you should have seen what she and James did to him after OWLs, it was—"</p>
<p>"Oh please don't go into detail. I'd like to keep the already fading image of him as an innocent little boy," she giggled.</p>
<p>"Oh, yeah. Sorry," Fae laughed.</p>
<p>She dropped the second braid over her shoulder, patting her arm.</p>
<p>"I think we deserve a girls' day," she whispered.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>"I am about to kick your ass," James grumbled as he pushed open the door leading to his backyard, his hand wrapped tightly around his broom.</p>
<p>He and Peter were about to partake in a 'battle of the quidditch keepers'</p>
<p>Remus said the name was incredibly dumb but Peter said it was incredibly awesome.</p>
<p>Peter was fairly decent at quidditch, with all the summers at James' house and practicing with his wizard cousins.</p>
<p>"The first one to 60 points from..." he drew a line in the grass with the edge of his toe, "behind this line, wins." he looked up and grinned.</p>
<p>Remus plopped onto a plot of grass under a tree closest to James' homemade pitch, setting out a book in front of his crisscrossed legs.</p>
<p>Both Peter and James kicked up on their brooms hovering in the air, "Moony! Count us down!" Pete yelled.</p>
<p>"Three, two, one... go." He said half-heartedly.</p>
<p>Both Peter and James raced for the quaffle that was floating in the middle of the pitch, James reaching it first and hurdling it toward the hoop.</p>
<p>"Haha! Beat that, Pettigrew!" he cheered after it raced through the goal.</p>
<p>"Shove off, Prongs!" he yelled as he grabbed hold of the quaffle, shooting it through the other hoop.</p>
<p>A string of curses flew out of James' mouth.</p>
<p>The game went on similarly for the next 20 minutes. James leading with 50 points, one more shot to win. Peter close behind with 30 points.</p>
<p>James' eyebrows furrowed when he saw Remus quickly pop up off of the ground, allowing his book to fall on the floor.</p>
<p>He let his fucking <em>book</em> fall to the <em>floor</em>.</p>
<p>And then he ran to the other side of the house.</p>
<p>James flew to the ground, dismounting his broom. Peter continued to practice with the quaffle.</p>
<p>"Hey, Rem! What's wrong?" he questioned, following to where Remus had run to.</p>
<p>He paused when he caught up to him. He had stopped in front of Fae, who was leaning forward cradling her nose, blood dripping down her face.</p>
<p>She smiled up at James, "Just a nosebleed, I get them all the time." she mumbled, spitting out a bit of blood that had dripped into her mouth.</p>
<p>Euphemia transfigured a towel, holding it over her nose. Faeryn's face was red with embarrassment.</p>
<p>She was in a blue flowy sundress, only now it was stained with blood running down its front.</p>
<p>After a moment of holding the rag to her face, she pulled it away to check the condition of her nosebleed. She smiled shyly when she realized her nose had stopped bleeding.</p>
<p>Remus was chuckling slightly to his right, he'd dealt with her nosebleeds many times before.</p>
<p>"Ever since I broke my nose when I was nine i've gotten nosebleeds," she laughed.</p>
<p>"How'd you break your nose?" James asked.</p>
<p>She cast a nervous glance toward Remus, "Just had an accident," she replied.</p>
<p>In full reality, it was a lovely birthday gift from her father.</p>
<p>She looked down at her sundress, looking up at Euphemia with an apologetic look on her face.</p>
<p>"I'm so sorry I ruined your dress, I can pay you—"</p>
<p>"Oh, <em>nonsense</em> dear. James, give her your shirt so she can get out of this," She gestured to his quidditch jersey.</p>
<p>James spluttered, "Oh, er... yeah," he nodded, before slipping off his shirt and handing it wound up to Faeryn, who took it with a red face.</p>
<p>They stood there for a moment before she cleared her throat, "Can you guys, er... turn around?"</p>
<p>"Oh! Yes, yes. Sorry." James stuttered, both Remus and him turning to face the other way.</p>
<p>He heard the shuffling of some fabric, a few exchanged words of struggle with his mother.</p>
<p>"Okay, you can turn around now," she whispered.</p>
<p>They both turned back around. She was shyly standing there, her hair tied into two braids. James' quidditch jersey falling just in the middle of her thighs.</p>
<p>
  <em>Ah, fuck.</em>
</p>
<p>She pointed behind her shoulder with her thumb, "I'm gonna... I'm gonna go get cleaned up." Fae said, and she turned around and walked back into the house.</p>
<p>And as she opened the door the wind blew and pulled up his shirt <em>just a bit</em> for him to see a flash of blue.</p>
<p>He quickly averted his eyes. <em>Merlin, why was he looking in the first place?!</em></p>
<p>A flash of blue.</p>
<p>
  <em>Her underwear.</em>
</p>
<p>She was in her underwear in his quidditch jersey.</p>
<p>
  <em>Oh Jesus, oh God. Merlins fucking left ballsack.</em>
</p>
<p>"I'm gonna go take a nap," he said, and he took fast steps up to his room, slamming his door when he finally got there. There were too many steps in this fucking house.</p>
<p>He dropped onto his bed, glancing down at his shorts. <em>Well, shit.</em></p>
<p>And holy <em>Godric</em>, he was hard.</p>
<p>He screwed his eyes shut, banging his head against the headboard of his bed a few times.</p>
<p>"Merlin, James. You're a fucking pervert," he muttered to himself. <em>Well, at least he was self-aware.</em></p>
<p>He groaned under his breath when he slid down his pants and boxers. His dick springing up to hit his stomach. <em>Merlins beard. </em></p>
<p>A large exhale of breath fell past his lips as he spread his thumb over the slit, gathering the bead of precum that had formed.</p>
<p>He tried to think of the half-naked girls from the muggle magazine he had found in Sirius' trunk, but that wasn't enough.</p>
<p>And then he tried thinking about when he would sneak off into the broom closets with random girls. Tried thinking of them in their lace bras.</p>
<p>He ran his hand down his dick, spreading the wetness from his thumb. He felt as he grew more in his hand.</p>
<p>Faeryn at the Christmas eve party.</p>
<p>
  <em>No. No, no, no. Stop.</em>
</p>
<p>Lace bras in broom closets.</p>
<p>His eyes fluttered shut as he began to speed up his stroking, squeezing tighter as he got to the tip.</p>
<p>Faeryn in a leather jacket.</p>
<p>His eyes snapped open, he paused his movements. <em>Stop thinking of her.</em></p>
<p>He took a deep breath. He tried to think of when he accidentally walked into the girls' locker room, all bare skin and bras and underwear. He continued his movements.</p>
<p>He grumbled to himself, <em>nothing</em> was working. And <em>fuck it, </em>he just needed to get off.</p>
<p>He remembered when he saw Fae walk out of his library with her hair braided and a sundress falling to her knees, a smile on her face. He loved her smile. But he would love to push her up against the wall and kiss that smile off of her face more.</p>
<p>He wanted to reach under her dress and run his hand up her thigh, he wanted to reach under her blue underwear. He wanted to <em>touch</em> her.</p>
<p>He wanted her to be his.</p>
<p>He could hardly think while his hand moved up and down around him, his lips parted and his head thrown back against his headboard.</p>
<p>And then he thought of Faeryn in <em>his</em> quidditch jersey, in her underwear. His eyes rolled back into his head.</p>
<p>He wanted to watch his jersey ride up her thighs as he held her up against the wall, her legs wrapped around him.</p>
<p>He wanted to hear her as he moved in and out of her, wanted to reach under his quidditch jersey and squeeze her breasts.</p>
<p>He groaned as he sped up even more, his hand moving up and down around him tightly, he was breathing heavily now, a bead of sweat running down his temple. He didn't care to wipe it away.</p>
<p>And what he wanted to do the most, was simply kiss her.</p>
<p>He just wanted to feel the softness of her lips, the feeling of her tongue against his. He desperately wanted to taste her chapstick. He wanted <em>her</em> to be <em>his</em>. He wanted to be hers.</p>
<p>But he surely wouldn't mind if he could take her on his childhood bed, whisper in her ear about the things he wanted to do to her.</p>
<p>And oh, how much he wanted to watch her as she fell apart around him, all <em>because</em> of him. He could only imagine how she would sound.</p>
<p>So, he imagined how she would sound, and he gasped as he felt his abs tighten. And a low moan escaped his mouth as he came, came to the thought of her moaning beneath him.</p>
<p>He came hard.</p>
<p>His head hit the headboard of his bed with a thud, panting heavily as stars overtook his vision, a string of raspy curses falling out of his parted mouth, riding out the temporary bliss of his orgasm.</p>
<p>And then his muscles relaxed, and all the self-doubting thoughts came flooding in.</p>
<p>
  <em>Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. He just wanked to the thought of shagging Remus' sister!</em>
</p>
<p>He didn't think he'd be able to look either of them in the eyes ever again.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>"What the hell is wrong with you, Prongs?" Remus questioned as the three boys sat in the living room, Peter and Remus were playing exploding snaps on the floor.</p>
<p>"Nothing," he mumbled.</p>
<p>"No, it's not nothing. You've been acting weird all day! You won't even talk to Fae, and you're hardly talking to me. So what the hell is wrong?" he said, his eyes still trained on the game taking place in front of him.</p>
<p>"Nothings wrong, Moony. I just have... er— a headache," he said hesitantly, it didn't even sound convincing to himself.</p>
<p>"Yeah, sure, Prongs. When you're ready to tell us the real reason why you're acting like a git let us know," he grumbled.</p>
<p>"Yeah, whatever. D'you suppose you should pay attention to the game?" his lips twitched up in a smile.</p>
<p>At least he could talk to Moony now.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Jay</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>James is uncomfortable. Faeryn has an epiphany.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chapter 20</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>jay</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>James was able to push past his embarrassment the next day and talk to Faeryn. Though they were only one-word replies and he still refused to look in her eyes in fear that she would <em>somehow</em> be able to read his thoughts and know exactly what he did two nights ago.</p>
<p>And finally the next day during dinner, he looked her in the eye after successfully getting off that morning without thinking of her.</p>
<p>Okay, he thought of her a <em>little bit,</em> but that didn't matter.</p>
<p>And he averted his gaze to his plate right after. But he had done it, he had looked her in the eye.</p>
<p>During the first full moon away from the shack he had to get over himself as she cried in his arms, it was particularly bad for the twins. Moony was locked down in the basement away from Padfoot, and Faeryn was worried deeply for her brother the whole night. She kept forcing her eyes open to stay awake to make sure Moony didn't terribly harm himself.</p>
<p>James stayed awake the whole night, and his heart would clench when she would yell out in pain because Moony ripped at his skin again. She passed out in her bed once the moon set, both from the pain and exhaustion from staying up all night.</p>
<p>Mia had healed Remus' scars and had ordered both of them to a day of rest.</p>
<p>By the next few days they were back up on their feet again, and James was back to stuttering slightly when he would talk to Fae.</p>
<p>And a week later he was able to talk to her normally again, as normally as he ever could, at least. He was able to look her in the eye and not think about the fact that he had <em>came</em> to the thought of her.</p>
<p>Though every once in a while he would remember and he would stutter and look away like a pathetic little child.</p>
<p>But everything was basically back to normal, and he had refused to wank off at all since his last time. Which was <em>sadly</em> quite difficult for him. Though it was better than not talking to Faeryn, and he would do anything if it meant he got to talk to her, to see her in her pajamas every morning, to paint with her (though he wasn't very good).</p>
<p>Though it was difficult to do both of those things, because she was in his room again. In her silk pajama shorts and a big t-shirt. And her hair was messily thrown into a low ponytail with strands hanging around her face.</p>
<p>For some reason, she got the idea in her head that she could just walk into his room whenever she was bored because it was the closest room to her. One of those days she was going to walk in on something that would <em>not</em> be good for her eyesight.</p>
<p>And she was looking at him with that <em>look</em> she uses to get her way.</p>
<p>"James, please come with me. I really want to explore the woods by your house but I don't want to get lost, and you've lived here all your life so you probably know your way around a bit," she begged.</p>
<p>James looked down at his hands, which were twiddling together in his lap as he sat against the wall that was next to his bed, his legs straight out in front of him.</p>
<p>He knew Remus would be furious if he found out the two of them had gone into the woods, alone, at 5:00 am, in the dark.</p>
<p>But how was he supposed to say no when she ripped his glasses from his face and put them on her face, grinning as he squinted to look at her clearly?</p>
<p>"How do I look?" she asked.</p>
<p>"I don't know, I can't see, Mittens," he grumbled, squinting his eyes to see. He <em>desperately</em> wanted to see.</p>
<p>He could make out the basic shape of her face, the blurriness of her eyes, and the redness of her lips, he could kind of see the shadows around her nose, but she was too far away at the base of his bed for him to be able to make out the sight of his glasses on her. Screw his -5.25 prescription.</p>
<p>She got on her knees and shuffled closer to him, settling down on his thighs. His eyes widened.</p>
<p>"So, how do I look?" she asked with an innocent smile on her face, as if she didn't realize she was <em>literally</em> straddling the lap of a boy who was in love with her.</p>
<p>How does she <em>look?</em> Absolutely fucking gorgeous, in his fucking glasses, straddling his lap, and grinning at him with her fucking smile.</p>
<p>"Like a fucking nerd," He grinned and ripped his glasses off of her face, pushing them back over his face before shoving her off his lap. Because if she was staring at him like <em>that</em>, while she was sitting <em>there</em>, something would happen that <em>neither</em> of them would want to happen.</p>
<p>She scoffed, "They're your glasses, you dickhead!" she chuckled.</p>
<p>He rolled his eyes, "Are you calling me a nerd?" he smirked.</p>
<p>She nodded, "Of course I am. Now will you go exploring with me or not?" she questioned.</p>
<p>James grumbled, looking down at his hands again because she was still looking at him with that <em>look</em>.</p>
<p>"Fine," he mumbled.</p>
<p>A huge grin took over her face, her eyes glinting with excitement. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she exclaimed, kissing him on the cheek, "I'm gonna go change," she said excitedly.</p>
<p>James sat in the same position in his bed, his cheeks red.</p>
<p>'<em>It was just a kiss on the cheek James, no need to wet yourself,</em>' he thought to himself.</p>
<p>He waited on his bed in a sweatshirt and sweatpants, Faeryn coming back into his room in sweatpants and one of Remus' sweaters.</p>
<p>She grinned at him, running toward him and grabbing his hand to pull him quietly through the house and out the backdoor.</p>
<p>All he could think about as they made their way through the hallways and down the stairs was the electric shock coming from where their skin was touching, where their fingers were interlocked. It was rushing through him like a waterfall. And it felt as if the electricity had dragged all of his negative thoughts completely out of his mind, leaving it completely filled with all of his happy memories and thoughts. It was like this simple touch was taking everything bad about him and making it good. He was buzzing under the energy, his mind was unthinking but also running with thoughts as she pulled him out onto the grass. Could she feel it too?</p>
<p>Every bad thought came rushing back to him when she dropped his hand as they made it to the edge of the forest. He longed to grab her hand again, to forget all the things he never wanted to think about again. She was like a drug, a drug he was addicted to. An addiction he never wanted to overcome.</p>
<p>They began weaving through trees, the grass became thicker and taller the farther into the woods they walked. They had to pull branches away and duck under leaves.</p>
<p>James had been telling a story about when he got his first broom when he was six, he was smiling to himself as he remembered the feeling he got when he kicked off of the ground. The free feeling of floating, of just being. The feeling of being in control of every motion he made, the only thing stopping him was the friction of the wind.</p>
<p>It was a feeling he had, for a long time, thought could never be beat. A thing that he always thought would be the greatest feeling he would ever experience.</p>
<p>Until he met Faeryn. And she changed that for him. And although he didn't know at the time, she would be the greatest feeling that would beat the others by miles.</p>
<p>He craved to touch her skin again, to feel the electricity of her touch.</p>
<p>It had only been a few moments that she had held his hand, and he was already feeling symptoms of withdrawal from her.</p>
<p>He couldn't imagine what it would be like to be able to kiss her, to touch her skin, to <em>take</em> her. He didn't think he'd be able to handle it, honestly.</p>
<p>His story of when he was six shifted to his first quidditch game, and though she was there to watch it, she wasn't there to <em>experience</em> what he did. He began to go into detail of what it felt like to score his first goal—</p>
<p>"Shh!" she said, halting her steps, he closed his mouth and stopped walking.</p>
<p>"Do you hear that?" she asked.</p>
<p>James had to tap into his stag hearing to understand what sound she was referring to, his eyes snapped to hers with a triumphant grin.</p>
<p>"Running water!" he exclaimed, and he began a run to where he had heard the sound.</p>
<p>He heard her giggling behind him as she followed, ducking under branches and around trees.</p>
<p>He stopped. They had found a river, she came to stop next to him a moment later, breathing slightly heavier.</p>
<p>She slowly took in the scene in front of her. A large river running in front of them, the trees around them glowing a yellow-green from the golden hues of the sunrise. She could see the sun begin to peak from the tips of the earth through the trees, the water reflecting the golds and rose's with ripples atop the water. She scanned from left to right. The sight of a fish jumping in the river casting a black shadow over the water, its splash sending multiple ripples around where it re-entered the river, blurring the mirrored reflection of the sunrise.</p>
<p>And as she turned her head to her right, she saw James. A rose-gold hue on his face, his glasses reflecting the sunrise that was behind the dark trees, his eyes glowing with <em>adoration</em>. He was looking at <em>her</em>. With <em>adoration</em>. Such a simple form of it was showing blatantly on his face, he wasn't even trying to hide it.</p>
<p>Faeryn furrowed her eyebrows, why would he be looking at her with such love and care? There was no way it was directed at her, probably just her being caught in the crossfire of his amazement of the nature around them. Yes, that was it. It wasn't her he found worthy of his adoration, it was the <em>view</em>.</p>
<p>Faeryn wasn't sure why this disappointed her. Her stomach erupted with butterflies at the thought of that look being directed at her. Being <em>because</em> of her.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>James couldn't look away from her.</p>
<p>The sun was just beginning to rise from its hiding spot beneath the earth, the backlighting of it casting a glow around her figure. She looked around at the scene in front of her with wide eyes that were shining with awe, her lips twitched up when she saw a fish jump.</p>
<p>And then she looked at him, deep into his eyes, and it felt as if she knew everything important about him with just a look.</p>
<p>And he couldn't fucking <em>do</em> this anymore.</p>
<p>He couldn't just watch her from afar. He wanted her. He <em>needed</em> her. Not just to kiss and to touch and to feel. But to laugh and to listen and to <em>love</em>.</p>
<p>And he almost kissed her. He almost did it. He almost brought his hand up to her jaw and bent down to kiss her. To envelop her mouth with his, to taste her lips. To swallow her breath of air into his lungs as if they were one single being.</p>
<p>He almost fucking did it.</p>
<p>And then she furrowed her eyebrows and looked away, and he snapped out of it. He returned his gaze to the water.</p>
<p>He swallowed deeply, his adam's apple bobbing up and down. He needed to control himself.</p>
<p>He would have to simply watch from afar.</p>
<p>And he would have to be okay with it.</p>
<p>"Wanna swim?" she asked to his left.</p>
<p>He swallowed his sorrows and nodded, "Definitely, I never even knew this was here," he forced out of his mouth.</p>
<p>He turned away and pulled off his sweatshirt, followed by him slipping off his shoes and then his sweatpants pooling around his feet. He kicked them off and bunched them up along with his shirt on the ground, he didn't turn around to look at her before he ran into the water, and swam to the middle.</p>
<p>It was deeper than he expected, and while he was standing flat on his feet the water fell just above his shoulders.</p>
<p>He turned to look as Faeryn ran into the water, in her bra and underwear.</p>
<p>His lip quirked into a smile as she dipped under the water, emerging with a red face.</p>
<p>"Don't <em>judge</em> me, it's comfortable," she pouted, referring to her sports bra, which was bright pink and covered in a hello kitty pattern.</p>
<p>"I'm not judging. I'm simply... observing. Are those cats?" he asked.</p>
<p>"<em>No</em>, it's hello kitty, a muggle thing. And stop observing my bra, James. I'll tell Rem." she raised her eyebrow.</p>
<p>James' eyes widened.</p>
<p>Faeryn burst into laughter as she swam closer to him, the water reaching her chin.</p>
<p>"Just joking, you should've seen your face," she smirked.</p>
<p>James rolled his eyes.</p>
<p>"Merlin Mittens, don't mess with a guy's emotions like that." he grinned.</p>
<p>"Where's the fun in that?" she quipped.</p>
<p>"Oh, shove off," he grumbled, swiping his hand under the water and throwing it toward Fae, who was hit with a splash of water to her face.</p>
<p>Her jaw hung open, her hair falling straight at the side of her head, the tips just reaching the tops of her collarbones.</p>
<p>"Potter, you're in for it now, "</p>
<p>She darted off toward him, <em>how is she swimming so fast?</em> A big smile was on both of their faces, James attempted to hold up his hands to block what he knew was inevitable. His attempts were futile because Fae cupped her hands and aimed a large splash of water right at his head.</p>
<p>His glasses were covered in water droplets, his unruly hair was somewhat flat against his head. He ran his hand through it to mess it back up again.</p>
<p>It was silent for a short moment before Fae burst into laughter. And the honey-sweet laugh falling from between her lips was so contagious that he was bursting into laughter too.</p>
<p>She noticed that he could hardly see out of his glasses, and swam to be situated in front of him.</p>
<p>The only problem was that she was far too short to touch the bottom without being submerged.</p>
<p>He was watching her with an amused smile on his face, he could practically see the gears in her brain moving.</p>
<p>She huffed before setting her hands on his bare shoulders, his brows knit together. What the hell was she doing now?</p>
<p>"Screw being short," she grumbled before pushing on his shoulders and hoisting herself up to wrap her legs around his waist, sitting atop his hips.</p>
<p>James' breath hitched in his throat. He was positive his heart was going to beat directly out of his ribcage.</p>
<p>He was looking to his left, trying desperately to avoid looking at how close her face was to his. It was so difficult to concentrate on anything because their bare skin was touching in so many places and he could feel the electricity of her skin against his. And it wasn't like the cliche butterflies in his stomach, though those were there too, it was actual electric shocks crackling under his skin. He was sure that if he looked at the contact he would see a glowing heat, a light that just by looking at it would take away everything that was wrong in the world. He wondered if she felt it too, how could she not? He <em>desperately</em> hoped she could feel it as well.</p>
<p>He kept his hands hanging limply at his side, no matter how much he wanted to grab her waist.</p>
<p>"Well how am I supposed to help you if you're looking away, Jay." she laughed as she cupped his jaw and pulled his face to look at hers.</p>
<p>James had to use every fiber of his being to not let his knees buckle from underneath him.</p>
<p>This was too much to handle.</p>
<p>She was straddling his waist in her underwear while they were alone in a river, and she was wiping his glasses off for him with her lip pulled in between her teeth, and she just called him <em>Jay</em>.</p>
<p>And the sun was beaming on her face from behind him, lighting up her skin and making her eyes twinkle, droplets of water were sticking on her eyelashes and they were sparkling in the reflection of the sun.</p>
<p>How could he not kiss her?</p>
<p>"How's that?" she asked as she finished wiping off the water, pulling her face away to see if she missed anything.</p>
<p>He couldn't talk.</p>
<p>Why did she do that? He could wipe off his own glasses perfectly fine. So was she just trying to mess with him or something?</p>
<p>"Why is your face so red—" she looked down to where she was wrapped around him and her eyes widened, "<em>Oh!</em>"</p>
<p>She hopped off of him, swimming back slightly to where she could touch without being suffocated.</p>
<p>"Sorry, sorry..." she said frantically, refusing to look at his eyes because she just did <em>that</em> and he <em>obviously</em> didn't like it, "I wasn't thinking," she laughed awkwardly  </p>
<p>"Er... s'fine," he smiled sheepishly because it was still taking all of his energy to stand upright. Because she was just doing <em>that</em> and he ruined it, probably his only chance at ever getting that close to her. And he ruined it.</p>
<p>She cleared her throat, "So, how's Sirius been doing?" her eyes were cast down on the water, watching as she swirled little patterns with her finger</p>
<p>He shook his head, "He's been weird, has been missing our calls all the time. He hardly seems like himself, and he only talks for like two minutes before he has to go. I don't think Rem is doing too well because of it, either." James said.</p>
<p>He was worried about his brother, deeply.</p>
<p>Faeryn frowned, "I've noticed he's been acting weird," she mumbled.</p>
<p>James nodded, even though she wasn't looking at him.</p>
<p>He swallowed deeply, "We should probably head back, Mums probably making breakfast." he said and he made his way to where he had left his clothes.</p>
<p>As he pulled his sweatpants over his boxers he looked up to see Fae dip under the water for a moment, re-emerging with her eyes closed, her hair pushed back over her shoulders.</p>
<p>And it was the simple things, like the way she smiled slightly when she opened her eyes to see him looking at her. The way she walked over and slipped on his sweatshirt because her jumper was too far away and she was insecure to be standing in front of him. Even though no matter what he would always see her as beautiful.</p>
<p>And it was the little things.</p>
<p>The shining of her rings as they peaked out of the sleeves of <em>his</em> sweatshirt, the contrast of the black threads against the everlasting stain on her hands.</p>
<p>The blur of the charm that she has constantly placed on her arms from when he and Remus found her in the bathroom.</p>
<p>And it was the little things that some people would never notice that he noticed the most.</p>
<p>And he loved her little things, he loved all of her.</p>
<p>And he couldn't deny it anymore, no matter how much he told himself he wasn't.</p>
<p>He was indescribably in love with her. In a way that he felt like he was free falling every time he looked at her.</p>
<p>And that meant he would watch from afar, because she looked so <em>happy</em> without him. He would drag himself through the deepest depths of hell if it meant she would be happy.</p>
<p>And at the moment, that's what it felt like he was doing.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Faeryn and James were not thinking clearly when they walked in the door that led to the kitchen.</p>
<p>James walked in with a smile and a blush, his top off and his hair messy. Faeryn walked in with James' sweatshirt on, her sweatpants and jumper in her hand.</p>
<p>"Morning, I made breakfast!" Said Euphemia.</p>
<p>Euphemia watched with an amused smile as Remus and Fleamont glared at James protectively.</p>
<p>"James if you—" Remus started.</p>
<p>"James I swear—" Fleamont began, at the same time as Remus.</p>
<p>"Remus, you'll never believe it, we found a river and there are trees by it and I think we could get a rope and make a rope swing!" she said excitedly, grabbing a towel from the counter and placing it on one of the kitchen chairs, hopping on top of it and shoving a pancake in her mouth with a smile.</p>
<p>"James used to swim in that river all the time," Fleamont said with a reminiscent smile on his face.</p>
<p>James froze, Faeryn turned to face him.</p>
<p>Euphemia hit Fleamont up the back of his head.</p>
<p>"<em>Really</em>, Jamesie? Do tell a story would you?" she mocked interest, placing her head on her hand in a sarcastic manner.</p>
<p>He looked at Fleamont, his eyes shining with the words '<em>why did you say that?!</em>'</p>
<p>Fleamont chuckled under his breath.</p>
<p>Remus was still glaring at James. <em>Why was she wearing his sweatshirt?</em></p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>James came down the stairs after lunch, having just taken a shower.</p>
<p>Fleamont and Mia were having a hushed conversation by the fireplace, when they noticed James they both shut their mouths and snapped their eyes to face him, plastering fake smiles onto their faces.</p>
<p>"What's going on?" James asked tentatively.</p>
<p>"Nothing, son. Your mother and I just got called into work, that's all." he nodded.</p>
<p>Both Euphemia and Fleamont both worked at the ministry, and James was sure he'd go grey by the age of twenty based on how many times they have been frantically called into work over the past few weeks of summer.</p>
<p>"We'll be back tonight, Bobbin can make you guys dinner. I love you," Euphemia said, placing a kiss on James' temple.</p>
<p>"Er... Yeah. I love you, too," he said.</p>
<p>The two Potters disappeared through the floo network.</p>
<p>They didn't arrive home until the next morning, and were ambushed by the three teenagers that were living there, questions falling out of their mouths (mostly James').</p>
<p>"We're fine, just some legal papers held us up. No need to worry," Fleamonts voice wavered.</p>
<p>"But you said—!"</p>
<p>"Enough, James." Fleamont snapped.</p>
<p>James deflated, Faeryn's eyes softened at the upset look on his face. She never wanted to see him look like that again.</p>
<p>"Well, your father and I are a bit tired. I think we are gonna turn in." Mia smiled.</p>
<p>"Yeah, yeah. Of course." James smiled gently.</p>
<p>He pouted up to his room, falling onto his bed. He was worried about them. There was something more going on than they were letting on.</p>
<p>This was proved more than true later that night when a disoriented Sirius stepped through the fireplace, immediately collapsing on the ground in the living room.</p>
<p>Faeryn was on the sofa reading a book, she saw it all.</p>
<p>"Miss and Mr. Potter!" she yelled and she rushed to Sirius' side.</p>
<p>"Sirius what happened?" she asked panicked, he just mumbled incoherently.</p>
<p>James was the first one down the stairs after hearing the frantic voice of Faeryn.</p>
<p>He took in the scene in front of him, Faeryn's book on the floor with the binding broken, Sirius' head in her lap. He had a cut in his lip that was dripping blood, his eye swollen from a punch. He was pale and shaking, cold sweat dripping down his forehead.</p>
<p>He rushed to his side along with Faeryn.</p>
<p>"What happened?" he asked.</p>
<p>"<em>Crucio</em>," she whispered so quietly that he almost didn't hear her.</p>
<p>"How do you know—?" he began.</p>
<p>"I just <em>do!</em>" she snapped.</p>
<p>Euphemia and Fleamont rushed down the stairs, a moment later so did Remus.</p>
<p>Remus had heard his sisters panicked yell and rushed down to the living room as fast as he could.</p>
<p><em>No</em>.</p>
<p>No, no, no, no.</p>
<p>Not Sirius.</p>
<p>He dropped next to his pale and skinny frame. He didn't look like <em>his</em> Sirius. He couldn't help the tears that flooded his eyes.</p>
<p>"<em>Moony</em>," he whispered. Remus choked out a sob.</p>
<p>"Move out of my way, Faeryn go get a wet cloth from under the cabinet in the kitchen. Bobbin!" Euphemia ordered, Fae ran into the kitchen and Bobbin apparated next to Mia.</p>
<p>Fae came back into the living room, James sitting worried on the couch, Remus standing dazed near where Sirius was on the floor. Bobbin and Euphemia were crowding around him.</p>
<p>She dropped to his side, handing Mia the rag.</p>
<p>She brushed back his hair and ran her hands through it while Mia worked to heal him with her wand, just like he had done that night during the full moon.</p>
<p>At some point they moved him to the couch, Remus sitting next to his head trying to touch him in the least suspicious way possible in front of James' parents.</p>
<p>A while later Mia and Fleamont left the room, heading off to bed in confidence Sirius would be fine.</p>
<p>Remus slept next to Sirius on the couch, their legs tangled together with Sirius' head on Rem's chest, Sirius' back was against the edge of the couch.</p>
<p>James was curled uncomfortably on a small armchair, leaving the loveseat to Faeryn.</p>
<p>At some point in the middle of the night Fae woke up with a dry mouth and the need to get a drink of water, she shuffled into the kitchen and grabbed a glass from a cupboard, holding it under the tap and watching as the water filled up and warped her fingers through the glass.</p>
<p>She jumped when she heard the door swing open.</p>
<p>"Oh, sorry." James said groggily, "I didn't realize you were awake,"</p>
<p>"S'fine," she rasped out.</p>
<p>They were facing each other, five steps between them.</p>
<p>Faeryn's face burned red and she cleared her throat, "er— don't laugh, but... can you give me a hug?" she whispered and her voice cracked, she used all of her courage to keep eye contact.</p>
<p>Alarms rang in her head when he didn't answer.</p>
<p>"Nevermind that was dumb I'm—" she tried to save herself.</p>
<p>But he cut her off.</p>
<p>He closed the five steps that were separating them at lightning speed, barreling into her and knocking the air out of her chest, wrapping his arms around her right above her waist.</p>
<p>She slightly hesitated before wrapping her arms back around him.</p>
<p>His chin was resting on her head, and she was fully engulfed by him.</p>
<p>She inhaled the overwhelming scent of cinnamon, it wrapped around her senses and grounded her. He was warm holding onto her, she could feel his heart beating.</p>
<p>She had never felt so safe.</p>
<p>And it felt so good that it <em>hurt</em>.</p>
<p>And she knew that it was probably too soon, but she knew then and there that she always wanted to feel that way. She wanted to be held by him like this all the time.</p>
<p>And <em>oh god</em>, did she fancy James Potter?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Lessening Bonds</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sirius adjusts. OWL results come in.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chapter 21</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─<br/>lessening bonds<br/>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>"—the shakiness will go away after a while," Faeryn whispered.</p>
<p>"And Rem can rub your back, that seemed to help me when—" she continued in a hushed voice, they were trying not to be heard.</p>
<p>James grumbled as he awoke, limbs in pain from the unnatural position he had slept in.</p>
<p>"When what?" he asked innocently as he rubbed his eyes.</p>
<p>"Nothing!" both Remus and Sirius quickly replied.</p>
<p>James opened his eyes groggily to see Sirius laying limp in Remus's lap, Faeryn was massaging up his arm with experience.</p>
<p>Faeryn looked at the two of them with knit eyebrows, in a hushed voice, she asked, "Why can't I tell him?" too quiet for James to understand, but loud enough for him to know they were talking.</p>
<p>"Because he'll flip out—!" Remus started.</p>
<p>Sirius placed his hand over Remus' as a gesture to tell him to be quiet.</p>
<p>"Faeryn, just trust us. Don't tell him." Sirius whispered, his voice was dry and cracky, lacking its usual confidence.</p>
<p>Faeryn nodded and continued massaging his hand gently.</p>
<p>"How are you feeling, Pads?" James asked, sitting up in the armchair.</p>
<p>"Never better, Prongs," he said raspily.</p>
<p>James smiled sadly, he hated seeing his best mate look so unlike himself.</p>
<p>He was just grateful he was safe now.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Each day Sirius got stronger, and a week after he had mysteriously walked through their fireplace looking like a zombie, he was mostly back to regular Sirius.</p>
<p>Faeryn and Sirius were slowly venturing through the woods on the way to the river, a heavy bag slung over her shoulder that was slightly weighing her down.</p>
<p>"Fae, I can carry the—"</p>
<p>"I swear to fucking god Padfoot if you say you can carry the bag for me one more time I'll crucio you myself," she snapped.</p>
<p>Sirius fell silent.</p>
<p>Faeryn stopped walking in the realization of what she said. She took it too far and now—</p>
<p>Sirius burst into hysterical laughter. Faeryn's face that was full of concern switched to one that was full of a confused smile.</p>
<p>"You should have— you should have seen your face!" he choked out between his laughter.</p>
<p>"Shove off!" she said behind a laugh as she dropped her bag with a clang on a patch of grass near the water.</p>
<p>She pouted as she crossed her arms across her chest and plopped dramatically onto the ground. Their duo dynamic always brought the biggest dramatics out of each of them.</p>
<p>Sirius copied her movements, crossing his arms over his chest and dropping to the ground with a huff. He looked at her with a look that said nothing but 'I did it better'</p>
<p>Faeryn rolled her eyes as she reached into the bag, and as usual, she placed a plain canvas in front of her and then Sirius. Spreading out her paint and brushes on the ground.</p>
<p>Faeryn stared longingly at where she and James were in the water just a few days prior, but shook her head to clear her thoughts. It was just a silly little crush, nothing would come out of it.</p>
<p>She held the end of her brush in her mouth as she untwisted the cap off of her paint, grabbing the brush and dipping it in the color.</p>
<p>"How come I can't tell James about what happened last summer?" she questioned, watching as the tip of her brush made contact with the canvas, a mirror of the scene in front of her beginning to form from one single stroke.</p>
<p>Sirius chuckled to himself as he painted, "He'd be all over you, probably wouldn't let you out of his sight until he died." he smirked.</p>
<p>"Why would he care so much?" she asked, her eyes drifting over to the spot in the water they had been in before she could stop herself.</p>
<p>"He cares about you Fae," he whispered, "He cares about you a lot,"</p>
<p>Faeryn's stomach did a flip. But that didn't mean anything, James cares about everyone.</p>
<p>"But I don't understand how that correlates with what happened last summer," she added.</p>
<p>"Gonna be honest, I don't either," he said, and Faeryn furrowed her eyebrows, "But Remus said that you couldn't tell him. And he was really serious when he said it,"</p>
<p>Faeryn huffed, why did Remus get to make all her decisions for her?</p>
<p>She looked up at where the sun was in the middle of the sky, where she should have drawn it on her painting. She looked down at her painting, where the sun was just peeking above the earth to the left. And she looked at the two separate piles of clothes she painted in a heap of color on the ground, something you'd only be able to recognize if you knew what it was supposed to be.</p>
<p><em>Ah, fuck</em>.</p>
<p>Maybe not just a little crush.</p>
<p>But that couldn't be right, could it? Because she just realized last night, so there's no way it wasn't just a small development of feelings. But thinking about it, thinking back to the end of the year when he would be there on the full moons, thinking back to last month during the full moon,</p>
<p>She heard him.</p>
<p>She heard his words and felt his touch. Something that she had never been able to do before. Something she could only do with him. Did that mean something? Why was it that his voice could calm her nerve endings and almost... <em>loosen</em> the bond between her and Remus?</p>
<p>When he was holding her during the transformations it almost felt as if the bond was <em>shifting</em>, something she couldn't explain. It was almost as if the bond knew she was safe and was backing away, leaving the comforting to James.</p>
<p>Because something she always noticed was that the bond mostly served to keep her safe, alert Remus if anything was wrong. It had happened more than once, when she was near death. Remus would feel it, and come save her. Every time.</p>
<p>And when she was closer to death, or in danger, she could feel the bond tighten and strengthen. And all signs show that its main purpose was to keep her safe. How it does that, why it does that... she didn't know. But she knew that it did.</p>
<p>So what about James made it retreat? That had to mean something.</p>
<p>And when she touched him? It almost felt as if Remus wasn't there anymore. When she held his hand on the way to the river she was burning, a hurt that felt so good, from the inside out. She could feel her magic crackling under her skin, pulling her toward him and pulling her and Remus' bond away. She didn't know what any of this meant, why it was <em>James</em> that made all of this happen.</p>
<p>"I think I like James," she stated bluntly.</p>
<p>"Well, I'd hope so. You are living with him so—"</p>
<p>"No, Sirius. I <em>fancy</em> him."</p>
<p>There was a pause. "Oh," he said.</p>
<p>"Is that okay? Like, am I allowed to do that? Him being your guys' best friend and everything. I wouldn't want to do something that made you uncomfortable, so if you're not okay with that I can try and get over it—"</p>
<p>Faeryn and her fucking nervous rambling.</p>
<p>"No. It's perfect." He said with a smile on his face.</p>
<p>Faeryn was surprised, "Oh, okay. Erm... great." she said.</p>
<p>Well, now she just felt awkward.</p>
<p>"You don't have to be so embarrassed about it! I have a thing for your brother and you have a thing for mine! It's great, and you can gossip to me about things and I can help you guys get together—"</p>
<p>"Padfoot! You are not gonna use your dumb antics to try and get me and James together. You'll just embarrass me." she grumbled.</p>
<p>Sirius scoffed, "I would not embarrass you."</p>
<p>"I know you, Sirius. Yes, you would."</p>
<p>"Would not!" he said childishly.</p>
<p>Faeryn huffed and shoved her materials into her bag, but kept out the canvas so it didn't smudge. "If you're gonna act like a child and pretend I'm not right I'm going back," she grumbled as she stood up and began marching through the path that was beginning to form from her continuous trips to the river over the past week.</p>
<p>"<em>Mittens!</em>"</p>
<p>The whole trek back to the house was filled with the dramatics of Faeryn and Sirius™ and by the time they walked into the living room, it was an amusing shit show.</p>
<p>Faeryn had her eyes screwed shut and her fingers plugged in her ears as she continuously said "Periwinkle," over and over again.</p>
<p>Sirius was attempting to pull her hands away from her ears.</p>
<p>"I would <em>not</em> embarrass you!" he yelled.</p>
<p>Faeryn pulled her fingers out of her ears (like they were doing anything to drown out his voice in the first place).</p>
<p>"Fine! I believe you, you wouldn't embarrass me! But I'm not letting you do it. And that's <em>final</em>." she finally gave in.</p>
<p>Sirius just looked triumphant that he had won their little argument. He had accepted back in the woods that he would not get to do anything to help them get together, but Faeryn didn't need to know that.</p>
<p>"Letting him do what?" asked James.</p>
<p>Sirius and Faeryn snapped around to look at Remus and James, who were looking at them suspiciously from where they were playing wizard's chess.</p>
<p>"Nothing!" they both said with wide eyes, both refusing to look at James in fear of giving any hints.</p>
<p>Jesus, it was scary how much they could be alike.</p>
<p>"Erm, okay. Bobbin is making lunch, Mum and Dad got called into work again," James said nervously. "Have you seen all the deaths of muggle-born families popping up in the paper? Something bad is happening and I don't like how they are involved in it," there was fear in his voice.</p>
<p>"Me either. But they'll be fine." Sirius said firmly, though it was obvious he didn't really believe what he was saying.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>"This is quite delicious, thank you, Mia," said Faeryn, Bobbin cleared her throat from the other room, "You too, Bobbin!" she said loudly.</p>
<p>Fleamont chuckled in his seat as he shoved his food into his mouth. "So, OWLs results are supposed to be here anytime this week," he said.</p>
<p>Faeryn's blood ran cold. She had always been quite fantastic in school, but this year with her father she had been very nervous about a few of her classes, Charms and DADA specifically.</p>
<p>"Yup, pretty sure I got all O's, too," said Sirius, James hummed in agreement.</p>
<p>They didn't look it, but they were quite smart. Faeryn wouldn't be surprised if they got more Outstandings than her. It didn't bother her though, she was used to being the lesser one when it came to grades.</p>
<p>"I think I did pretty good," Remus added. Faeryn stayed silent.</p>
<p>"How about you, Faeryn?" asked Euphemia.</p>
<p>She looked up from her plate, "I probably did okay," she said unsurely and she shoved a small bite of her dinner into her mouth. She had lost her appetite.</p>
<p>What if she wasn't good enough for them? Would they see her scores and kick her out? She had grown to love living at the Potters, and would be terribly upset if she had to leave.</p>
<p>"I'm sure you did wonderfully," said Mia.</p>
<p>Four owls came pecking on the window the next day.</p>
<p>They all rushed to snatch their letters and ripped them open.</p>
<p>Faeryn scanned through her results, there had to be a mistake.</p>
<p>History of Magic- Outstanding<br/>Potions- Outstanding<br/>Charms- Exceeds Expectations<br/>Defense Against the Dark Arts- Exceed Expectations<br/>Transfiguration- Outstanding<br/>Herbology- Outstanding<br/>Astronomy- Outstanding<br/>Care of Magical Creatures- Outstanding<br/>Ancient Runes- Outstanding<br/>Arithmancy- Exceeds Expectations</p>
<p>She looked up from her paper with a smile. She got seven O's!</p>
<p>"I got seven!" said Remus.</p>
<p>Her heart stopped, she got the same as Remus?! She had always been the one with the worst grades, always been the one Lyall would yell at.</p>
<p>Again, fuck you, Lyall.</p>
<p>Because Faeryn got seven Outstandings!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Beat That, Sirius</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Faeryn has a night terror. Sirius and Remus start something with James that can’t be taken back.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chapter 22</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─<br/>beat that, sirius<br/>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>The door slammed open, Remus, James, and Sirius standing outside the room panting, worried looks etched on all of their faces.</p>
<p>They had been all hanging out in James' room across the hall, acting like idiots, when they heard her.</p>
<p>She was screaming, and they wasted no time hopping from their lazy spots on the round to rush to her room. Remus was confused because she wasn't in any pain, so what was wrong?</p>
<p>They had opened the door, she was thrashing around in her bed, a trail of her makeup was running down her face. She was asleep, a night terror.</p>
<p>Remus was the first to rush to her, having dealt with her nightmares a few times as children. He'd learned that all he could do was hold her until she woke up, <em>nothing</em> could wake her up during her night terrors.</p>
<p>Sirius sat tentatively at the end of her bed, his face pale with worry. James came to stand next to her bed, he felt as if he was going to explode from the way his stomach was twisting so bad. Again, she was in pain, and all he could do was sit and watch.</p>
<p>He grabbed her hand and entwined their fingers, and to all of their surprise she bolted up with wide eyes.</p>
<p>Remus snapped his head to look at James bewildered. She <em>never</em> wakes up from her night terrors.</p>
<p>There was a moment of silence before both Remus and Faeryn hissed in pain. Another thing Remus noticed about her night terrors was that she would get a horrible headache after. But that wasn't the only thing that was hurting, no. No, where Faeryn and James' hands were intertwined there was a <em>bursting</em> heat building up from it, going straight to Faeryn's chest and pulling at the bond.</p>
<p>Remus reached to where their hands were together and ripped them apart, "Why the hell does that keep happening?" he asked through clenched teeth at the pain boiling behind his eyelids.</p>
<p>Faeryn was staring wide-eyed at her hand, tears falling silently down her face. "I don't know. I didn't know you could feel it too," she whispered.</p>
<p>"Yes, I can feel it too. It's breaking, it's like it's fucking running away," he said hushed.</p>
<p>Sirius and James were listening confused, James was staring at his hand. His fingers were twitching slightly, his mouth was parted and his eyes were wide. <em>What the hell was that?</em> He had felt a jolt of warm energy run through his whole hand all the way down to the bottom of his spine, and then Remus disconnected their hands.</p>
<p>"I don't know what it means," she whispered dazed, she was still stuck going over her nightmare.</p>
<p>"How come it fucking burned when <em>he</em> touched you—?"</p>
<p>"I told you I don't know" she croaked out.</p>
<p>"I'm just asking what it is about <em>him</em> that makes the bond break!" he whispered.</p>
<p>"I don't know, Rem. I'm not really worried about that right now!" she whispered back.</p>
<p>"Well, then what are you worried about—?!"</p>
<p>"It was dad!" she snapped. The room fell silent.</p>
<p>"...What was dad?" he whispered.</p>
<p>"The fucking dream! It was dad again!" she yelled, tears still falling down her face.</p>
<p>Remus swallowed deeply, "Dad doing what...?" he asked tentatively.</p>
<p>She glanced at James, "You fucking know what. When he <em>crucio'd</em> me like the loving father he was." She threw the covers off of her and barreled out of the room.</p>
<p>James turned to look at Remus, who was looking down at his hands in remorse for upsetting his sister. "He fucking used the torture curse? And you never thought to tell me?" he asked.</p>
<p>"It never came up in conversation," said Sirius.</p>
<p>James turned to look at him with furrowed brows, "You knew too?" he asked.</p>
<p>Neither of them answered, they both kept their gaze down at their hands. James scoffed and walked out of her room.</p>
<p>Why did she feel the need to keep it from him? Did she not trust him?</p>
<p>He slammed the door to his room and dropped onto his bed. They all knew and never fucking told him.</p>
<p>He lay staring at his ceiling for a while until he heard his door creak open, he kept his eyes trained on the ceiling.</p>
<p>He felt his bed dip as someone sat on the edge of it, he finally looked up to see who it was. Faeryn, her eyes were puffy and her face was red. His heart clenched, he couldn't be mad at her. She obviously had a reason that she didn't tell him.</p>
<p>She sniffed as she looked at him and shook her head, "I'm sorry for not telling you. I really wanted to. But Remus and Sirius kept saying not to. And I trust them so I didn't... but now I feel really bad because you deserve to know so if you're mad at me and want me to leave or something I understand—"</p>
<p>"Faeryn," he said.</p>
<p>The sound of her name coming out of his mouth caused her to pause her ramble and look at him.</p>
<p>He sat up in his bed. This would be the perfect moment to kiss her, to just say fuck it and show her that he wasn't mad. To show her that no matter what she did he would always love her.</p>
<p>But he didn't.</p>
<p>He did pull her into a hug though, and he tried to ignore the shock that ran throughout his body. "I don't care, Fae. You don't have the obligation to tell me everything, you know."</p>
<p>She sniffled and held him tighter against her, "I'm still sorry. And what happened to the arrogant prick who thought he deserved everything in the world?" she whispered.</p>
<p>He scoffed, "Still in here somewhere, though I've put a pretty big lock on his room," he chuckled.</p>
<p>They pulled away, their faces close with smiles on their faces. James had to stop himself from looking down at her lips that were so close to his own.</p>
<p>And they sat there for a moment, faces so close that if he moved forward just a few inches he would <em>finally</em> get to feel her lips. And it took everything in him to not close the gap.</p>
<p>Faeryn held her breath, because they were so <em>close</em> that she could smell his cologne. She felt intoxicated, and she wasn't sure why she felt so dizzy. What was it about him that affected her like this?</p>
<p>They could feel each other's breath on their face, and James inhaled the scent of her lavender perfume, and he couldn't help himself from letting his eyes drift down her face to her pink lips.</p>
<p>Faeryn's heart rate sped up, they were so close. And he was looking down at her lips, so she took the opportunity to glance at his. And they looked so soft and inviting, and she found herself absentmindedly leaning back into him.</p>
<p>James stayed still, positive that she was leaning in. But there was <em>no</em> way she was leaning in for a kiss, that would be absurd.</p>
<p>Though he never got to find out, because Bobbin apparated into the room, causing them to jump away from each other.</p>
<p>James' face was red, his heart was beating fast. <em>Was she about to kiss him? Was she actually going to </em>kiss<em> him? Holy </em>shit<em> she was!</em></p>
<p>James cleared his throat awkwardly, "Yes, Bobbin?"</p>
<p>"Mistress Euphemia has sent me to tell you that lunch is ready," she nodded and popped back out of the room.</p>
<p>Faeryn scratched the back of her neck, "Erm, I'm gonna go down... now. So..."</p>
<p>"Yeah, yeah. I'll be down in a second," he said, and he watched with longing as she walked out of his room.</p>
<p>She almost kissed him.</p>
<p>He joined them down at the table a moment later, everyone else was waiting for him.</p>
<p>"What took so long, Prongs? Wanking again?" Sirius asked, he dodged as Euphemia swept her hand to hit the back of his head.</p>
<p>"Sirius! We are at the table, no dirty language!" she scolded.</p>
<p>Fleamont, Sirius, and Remus laughed at the splotches of red that erupted all over James' face.</p>
<p>"You guys are nasty," Faeryn mumbled before she shoved a lemon peel into her mouth.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Remus walked into Sirius' room, holding a book to his chest that he was definitely planning on reading if Sirius had not been sitting on his bed with his hair in a bun in only his boxers.</p>
<p>He dropped onto his bed next to him, which had become a normality the past week Sirius had been fairly conscious enough to finally hold conversations. He carefully placed the book on the nightstand, as though he didn't constantly dog-ear the pages or throw it on his floor when Sirius would raise himself to straddle his thighs or highlight random passages (that honestly don't make that much sense but they sound fancy so he highlights them, anyway).</p>
<p>He grinned as Sirius placed a kiss on the top of his head, he honestly would have never taken Sirius Black, the pureblood ex-aristocrat (who when he's angry still sounds like he belongs on the cover of any magazine called anything along the lines of 'Rich Pureblood Incest Supremacist') to be so romantically soppy. He most <em>definitely</em> is not complaining, don't doubt that.</p>
<p>"There is something very wrong going on between Prongs and my sister, I already have a list of things to plant in his bed so if you have any suggestions I'm all ears," Remus said, his eyes fluttering shut as Sirius leaned over him to place soft kisses on his neck. The last time they had done anything farther than a heated snogging session was the last night before school ended, and though Remus' hand was <em>not</em> rewarding him with anything pleasant he did not want to pressure Sirius into anything after he almost <em>died</em>. But he could not help that when Sirius dragged his teeth against his pulse point he felt his trousers tightening.</p>
<p>"And I don't mean that he definitely wanks to the thought of my sister, which I definitely deserve financial compensation for, thank you very much. I mean that when he touches her she literally short circuits and the bond pretty much disappears—"</p>
<p>"—Moony" he groaned, sucking too hard on Remus' neck for him to have full focus on what he was <em>trying</em> to complain about.</p>
<p>"Which is not good, because if that goes away I think I'll never let her out of my sight, which means she'll kill me—"</p>
<p>"Moonyyyyy—" Sirius whines.</p>
<p>"Do you want me dead Padfoot? Is that what you want? Because if not I suggest you start coming up with ways to castrate James before he puts his bits anywhere near Faeryn."</p>
<p>"Can you stop talking about Prongs' bits while I'm trying to shag you, Moony?" he mumbles against his neck, which is now beginning to bloom with many reds and purples that Remus is going to have to spend at least 15 minutes charming away before dinner.</p>
<p>"Why are you trying to shag me while I'm talking about James' bits?" he retorts, using as much self-restraint to not just shut up and kiss him, because he has an image to hold up and he'd very much at least <em>try</em> to act his part.</p>
<p>"I'm not wearing any underwear," Sirius tries as he lifts his head to be even with Remus' putting on his best puppy eye look as he gazed into Remus' golden eyes. <em>Honestly</em>, can he stop talking about James and his hard-on for Faeryn, he's desperately trying to get into Remus' pants right now.</p>
<p>And apparently, the sentence combined with the prodding of something hard against his hip is enough to snap Remus' resolve and cause him to bring their lips together.</p>
<p>It still causes butterflies to erupt in Remus' stomach as their lips move with each other, their hands scrambling to grab onto the closest limb and bring their bodies as close as possible. Sirius' hands tangled in the back of Remus's hair as he pushed their faces closer, and then he tugged the ends of his curly hair which elicited an embarrassingly needy groan to escape past Remus' lips.</p>
<p>Their hands were everywhere as they worked to remove any clothing that was annoyingly separating the possible contact of any bare skin, fingers running up the bumpy skin on Remus's chest and up to his shoulders just to go back down his arms to intertwine their hands. Remus scowled when he removed Sirius trousers to discover that he was in fact wearing underwear, prick.</p>
<p>Sirius was hovering over him, his legs bent on the outside of Remus' stomach as he moved his hands above his head, switching his grip so that one hand was keeping Remus' hands away as his other hand dragged back down his chest, teasingly curling under his boxers</p>
<p>Remus' heart rate sped up, his breathing ragged and heavy. "Pads," he choked out past a moan as Sirius sucked a spot under his jaw, "we don't— we don't have to do anything." he forces out breathlessly, he probably should have said something before the removal of their clothes because Sirius' hand was scarily close to his cock and he was sure he would actually <em>die</em> if Sirius stopped.</p>
<p>Sirius hummed his disagreement against his neck, "Mm, I want to," he rasps out. And his hand finally curled around his cock, a gasp pushing its way out of Remus' mouth.</p>
<p><em>Jesus Christ</em>, it felt so wonderful, Remus' mind went blank under him, his eyes fluttering open to watch as he thrust into Sirius' hand. Though he stilled when he saw the still yellowing bruise that was hidden behind Sirius boxers on his hip, because he almost <em>died</em> and here he was giving him a fucking <em>hand job.</em></p>
<p>Remus' hands were still laying limp on the pillow above his head, though Sirius had trusted him to leave them there. But he brought one down to where Sirius' hand was curled around him and wrapped his hand around his wrist to stop him. Sirius' hand stilled and his head looked up worryingly, he was caught off guard enough that Remus was able to maneuver them so that Remus was hovering threateningly in between Sirius's legs.</p>
<p>"What—" Sirius began.</p>
<p>"Let me," he said raspily, as he kissed Sirius' dick from behind his boxers. The strangled moan that fell effortlessly out of his mouth caused Remus' cock to jump.</p>
<p>He looked into his grey eyes as he dragged his boxers down his thighs <em>torturously</em> slow causing Sirius' breath to hitch. He watched as his lips parted as he kissed up the length of him, his cheeks were flushed and his lips were perfectly pink and swollen.</p>
<p>"Merlin, Moony," he groaned as he wrapped his lips around his head, his eyes trained on Sirius the whole time.</p>
<p>There were strands of hair falling out of his messily thrown up bun that fell in front of his eyes, which rolled into the back of his head as Remus fully took him into his mouth, a moan falling out of his mouth.</p>
<p>"<em>God</em>, your mouth," he groaned, his hand finding the hair on Remus' head needing something to grip onto. Remus hummed around him, causing Sirius to buck his hips up into his throat.</p>
<p>Remus' stomach flipped, and his hand blindly searched for Sirius' other hand that was gripping deadly onto the sheets, he brought it up to join his hand on top of his head.</p>
<p>Remus returned his hand back to grip onto Sirius's hip, the other playing with Sirius' balls. Leaving Sirius with both of his hands tangled in Remus's hair as he bobbed up and down around him.</p>
<p>Sirius swallowed hard in understanding, "You sure?" he questioned, and Remus hummed around him in approval.</p>
<p>He slackened his jaw as Sirius' hands pushed down on his head, taking control and fully fucking his mouth. Remus was positively dizzy at the dominance, and it hurt how turned on he was.</p>
<p>He kept his eyes trained on Sirius as he curled a hand around himself, groaning at the much-needed friction.</p>
<p>The sight before him and the vibrations around his cock were enough for Sirius' eyes to roll back and the edges of his vision to burn white and stars to burn behind his eyelids as he came into Remus' mouth.</p>
<p>Remus was slightly embarrassed as the sight of Sirius falling apart caused him to come into his hand, both riding out the shock waves of their orgasms together.</p>
<p>They both sat there in the bliss of it all before cleaning up, and they tangled their legs together as they took in the warmth of each other. Remus' head on Sirius' chest, he could hear the still erratic beating of his heart.</p>
<p>He loved him.</p>
<p>He was so in love with him, and he wanted to say it. But when he opened his mouth all that came out was "You make me absolutely crazy, Pads." and although that wasn't bad and still caused Sirius' heart rate to speed up, he felt like a coward for not being able to say it.</p>
<p>Twenty minutes or so later they were putting their clothes back on and discussing things to possibly charm to jump out at James the next time he goes to bed back at school.</p>
<p>"Do you think I could charm a bucket of water to fall over his head every time he thinks of Fae? I think I'd just need the right books to figure out the incantation." he grinned as he slipped into his trousers.</p>
<p>"Where's your creativity? Water's boring, we need something with more oomph, something that will make him cry so we can have a wall full of crying pictures of Prongs. I bet five galleons it only takes a week to fill." he smirks as he slips a worn t-shirt over his head.</p>
<p>"I don't think I need a reminder of how many times James wanks off to my sister," he grumbles.</p>
<p>"Ah come on, Moony. He's in love, don't say you haven't wanked to the thought of me, because I just watched you do it." he smiled as they walked out of Sirius's room and headed for James' door.</p>
<p>"Actually I was still thinking about James' bits, I'll have you know." he chuckled.</p>
<p>"Why were you thinking about my bits?" James questioned exasperatedly as he looked up from his book as he sulked in his bed.</p>
<p>"Why are you sulking like Pete when Dorcas Meadows turned him down for Marls?" Remus asked in retaliation.</p>
<p>James didn't answer.</p>
<p>"Guess some questions just go unanswered," he shrugged, "Now get out," he said.</p>
<p>"Moony! This is my room—!"</p>
<p>"Out, Prongs," Sirius demanded.</p>
<p>He angrily threw the covers off of his legs and swung them off of his bed, he marched out the door as he mumbled angrily under his breath.</p>
<p>"Fine, I'll just go to your sister's room," he grumbled in the hallway, not knowing that they could still hear him</p>
<p>"DON'T EVEN <em>THINK</em> OF IT PRONGS!" Remus roared.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>James waited in the living room as Sirius and Remus did <em>god</em> knows what in his room.</p>
<p>He scowled at them as they came waltzing down the stairs with big grins on their faces as they leaned into each other and laughed, whispering things under their breath.</p>
<p>"Are you guys gonna flirt all day or can we go swimming," he grumbled.</p>
<p>"Jealous, Prongs? We love you very much, no need to feel left out," Sirius said as he blew him a kiss.</p>
<p>Faeryn pushed open the kitchen door, flour clinging to the charm that was placed on her arms. You could see where the blur of the charm ended, it was also where there was a straight line signaling the end of the flour covering her limbs.</p>
<p>"You're going swimming?" She asked with a gleam in her eyes and a toothy smile.</p>
<p>"Yes, we are going swimming. Meaning not with you," said Remus, Faeryn's hopeful smile dropped to a scowl.</p>
<p>"Okay, <em>arsehole</em>. I'll just go back to being a fucking housewife, you're welcome for making dinner, by the way," she grumbled.</p>
<p>Sirius was arguing with Remus, quietly trying to convince him to let Faeryn come to the river. So Fae thought no one was watching as she unclasped her necklace.</p>
<p>But James watched with raised eyebrows as the flour fell from her arms, the blur of the charm gone so that he was able to see all the irritated skin all the way up her arms. His mouth went dry at the number of lines that covered her forearms up to her shoulder.</p>
<p>He didn't remember there being so many, she hadn't done it again had she? Remus would know, right?</p>
<p>She clasped the necklace back over her neck, and the marks disappeared behind a sheet of a hardly noticeable blur that wrapped around her arms.</p>
<p>Remus had said something about the bond going away when he touched her. What if he somehow allowed her to hurt herself without Remus knowing? His palms began to sweat, a weight in his stomach formed. Because he was <em>positive</em> there weren't that many cuts on her arm.</p>
<p><em>Jesus</em> what if some of those were <em>his</em> fault? What if he caused Remus to not be able to stop her?</p>
<p>He wouldn't let that happen. He couldn't bear the thought of it being his fault.</p>
<p>She smiled at him as she untied her apron, and instead of smiling back he ignored the butterflies in his stomach and looked away with a frown.</p>
<p>He wouldn't let her get hurt anymore. And if he was causing the bond to break, he would stay away. She needed Remus way more than he needed her, no matter how much he felt like he needed her more.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Sirius had somehow convinced Remus to let Faeryn come. Good thing because now the two of them were splashing each other as Sirius and James sat in a nearby tree and watched with smiles on their faces.</p>
<p>If James thought he was watching from afar before, he <em>really</em> was now. Literally, he was watching far away from a tree, but there's no need to go into specifics.</p>
<p>"You're in love with him, aren't you? James questioned.</p>
<p>"Yeah," Sirius whispered.</p>
<p>"Have you told him?" he asked.</p>
<p>"Not yet, what if he runs off? You know how he is," he mumbled nervously.</p>
<p>James hummed to himself, he looked down at his legs which were kicking aimlessly in the air below him.</p>
<p>"How did you know?" James asked.</p>
<p>"Know what?"</p>
<p>"That you were in love with him," James stated.</p>
<p>Sirius looked at him knowingly, and smiled down at his hands, "He was changing after Potions, you know how he's pants at potions," he chuckled, "He had somehow gotten butober pus all over him while we were making some healing potion, and he was mumbling to himself about how 'his perfect skin will be ruined,' he was absolutely freaking out," he grinned.</p>
<p>James chuckled, he wondered how this conversation was going to steer from <em>butober pus</em> to love.</p>
<p>"He was pulling on one of his favorite jumpers, the one with all the patches and the loose strings, and it got caught on his head, spent like five minutes trying to pull the hole over his ears," he continued, his eyes were staring dazed at his hands as if he was reliving the memory all over again.</p>
<p>"And when he finally pulled it over his head he turned to me, and his cheeks were red but the edges of his eyes were crinkled from his smile. Moony has a lot of different smiles, but he only has one where the corner of his eyes crinkle like that. That one's my favorite, I have a whole list in my trunk if you wanna see," he smiled.</p>
<p>"Anyway, he turned to me and said 'That's world record worthy, <em>no one</em> has put a shirt on as fast as that. Beat that, Sirius,' and he left the room.</p>
<p>And I knew then, I don't know why <em>then</em>, though. It was pretty funny because right as he said it a pimple bloomed right in the middle of his forehead. Anyway, third year... It was third year when I knew." he turned to look at James expectantly.</p>
<p>"When'd you know you were in love with her?" he asked.</p>
<p>James spluttered, "<em>W-what</em>?" he asked.</p>
<p>"Come <em>on</em> Prongs, I'm your best mate, who do you take me for? I know when you're in love," he said.</p>
<p>James gaped at him, his face was splotched with random blooms of red and pink.</p>
<p>"She er— we were in the common room. And she came down the stairs with Mary, and she was carrying this huge bag, practically half the size of her," he started.</p>
<p>"And they plopped down on the sofa next to the armchair I was sitting in, and Faeryn painted Mary's nails. I wasn't really paying attention because Pete was telling some story about this Hufflepuff he liked, you remember the one. But then Mary started pouting because Fae wouldn't let her paint her nails." he continued, Sirius listened intently.</p>
<p>"She kept saying how it 'went against her iconic nails'" he chuckled because she very much <em>did</em> have ionic nails, to him at least.</p>
<p>"Mary kept telling her that no one notices her nails, so she finally let her paint them. It was literally the only time I've seen her nails all one color and done perfectly. And anyway, when she was done she turned to me and asked me to <em>lick</em> off her nail polish," Sirius burst into laughter.</p>
<p>"I didn't <em>actually</em> do it! Shove off! Anyway," he grumbled.</p>
<p>"She asked me to lick it off because," he cleared his throat and did the best Faeryn impression he could muster up, "If my nails are this perfect for one second longer my brain will explode. Do you really want bits of my brain all in your hair, Potter?" he mocked.</p>
<p>His cheeks had gone red as he told the story, just the thought of her making him blush. His lips were twitched up in a lopsided grin, "And I think that's when I knew. Sounds dumb, I know. But she looked at me with that <em>look</em> she does, you know which one, and I just couldn't help myself anymore." he said.</p>
<p>"Love works in mysterious ways," Sirius said.</p>
<p>"Oh don't get all philosophical on me just because you're in love, have some decency."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Remus listened to the whole conversation.</p>
<p>Can you blame him, though? He did have phenomenal hearing, and he couldn't help but listen when he heard 'he's pants at potions' and knew they were talking about him.</p>
<p>He was able to win the splashing contest against Faeryn, and hear how Sirius was in love with him. And then he heard how James was so deeply in love with Faeryn, and his nose scrunched up in distaste.</p>
<p>Though he couldn't help but feel bad, because it really did seem he cared for her. And he knew he was the one taking that away from him. He would be furious if someone tried to take Sirius from him.</p>
<p>And he had told Lily he would let him love her, but he really just said that so she would stop scolding him. He was still going to be furious if James even <em>tried</em> to touch her. But after hearing him talk about her that way, he sounded so <em>smitten</em> with her, he wasn't so sure anymore.</p>
<p>Maybe he could get over himself, and just let James love who he wanted to love.</p>
<p>Though James should surely owe him more than a few chocolate bars for it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello ! I’d just like to regretfully inform you guys that I’ve tested positive for Covid 19 so fuck that and have a great day !</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Crystal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Faeryn and the lads go to the flea market.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chapter 23</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─<br/>crystal<br/>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>"Faeryn come on," James asserted as he attempted to drag her out of her bed.</p>
<p>Faeryn was squeezing her eyes shut and attempting to pull against him, struggling desperately to stay in bed. She was not a morning person, James was. It created a very amusing but troublesome dynamic.</p>
<p>"Please, please, please get up. You promised," he whined.</p>
<p>Merlin, he was going to be the death of her.</p>
<p>"Could you be more childish?" she asked as she finally sat up in her bed and pressed the heel of her palms into her eyes, complaining as she stretched.</p>
<p>James didn't respond, and merely huffed to himself. He was standing at the edge of her bed with his arms now crossed against his chest dramatically.</p>
<p>"James we have all day," she groaned as she surveyed the small clock she had set on her nightstand.</p>
<p>"But why would we waste it in bed when we could be in muggle towns!" he said beaming.</p>
<p>James had been asking endlessly (for the past two years it had felt like) for Remus to take him and Sirius into the muggle world. And now that Faeryn was living with them too, she finally agreed to go. A mistake for her sleep schedule, seemingly.</p>
<p>Faeryn groaned again, but she wasn't going to deny that she was rather excited to take James shopping.</p>
<p>"Fine, but get out of my room before I'm naked," she grumbled and James flushed, turning on his heel and darting out of the room.</p>
<p>Faeryn laughed to herself as she slipped into a tank top and put a large button-up shirt over it (she kept it unbuttoned though, gotta keep the style) with some jeans. Remus would have to help the boys dress appropriately for the muggle world, though it would be delighting to knowingly send them out in humiliating attire without their knowledge.</p>
<p>She popped her head into Remus' room to see if he was awake, and was instead comforted with the sight of Sirius' bare back on top of him.</p>
<p>She scrunched her nose in distaste and mocked a gag.</p>
<p>"Get a room," she quipped as she stepped out of the room. She froze in the hallway and blinked as she comprehended that in fact, they did get a room.</p>
<p>She trudged into James' room after, and knocked this time to make sure she didn't walk in on him changing, though she wouldn't mind <em>that</em> much.</p>
<p>"You will never guess what I just walked in on," she said in a moderately disgusted tone.</p>
<p>"You appear to disregard the fact that I share a wall with Remus' room. I know exactly what you just walked in on," he grumbled, he had heard too many sounds from through the thin walls that he never should have had to hear.</p>
<p>Faeryn snorted, she was glad to be across the hallway, where there had to have been some sort of charm keeping the sound out, because you could hardly hear anything going on in either of the rooms.</p>
<p>Faeryn didn't think she had seen James in such muggle attire before, he was in some black jeans and a loose button-up shirt, he very kindly kept the top buttons open, (he no doubt saw the same outfit on another muggle, he's not original enough to know to unbutton it from his own creativity). She liked James in muggle clothes very much.</p>
<p>She had a bag full of Muggle money and coins in her hand, she had to waste all of the previous night explaining to James, <em>who had taken muggle studies for Merlin's sake and should know how money works,</em> how muggle money operated.</p>
<p>He still didn't understand.</p>
<p>But he had his own small bag of it that had a string wrapped around the top and he was whirling it around his fingers, the cling of the coins filling the silence of the room. He wasn't sure really what to expect, never having gone to any muggle stores before.</p>
<p>Faeryn moved to look over his bookshelf, fingers running lightly over the spines of some books as she read the titles.</p>
<p>A moment later Remus and Sirius popped into the room, hair a partially sweaty and somewhat sticking to their foreheads, Remus looked a relatively flustered and his face was red knowing that Faeryn had walked in on them. They weren't doing anything besides kissing, but still. <em>Mortifying</em>.</p>
<p>"Okay boys," Faeryn began, "we will be taking a bus, no not like the night bus, into the muggle town by James' neighborhood," she stated.</p>
<p>The three boys listened intently, knowing that when Faeryn was speaking, to listen.</p>
<p>"You will stay by the side of me or Remus at all times, I hardly trust you in the wizarding world, much less in muggle stores," she said with a grin at James and Sirius' offended expressions.</p>
<p>She turned on her heel and wordlessly beckoned them to follow her, she was eerily similar to a teacher taking students on a field trip.</p>
<p>James swung his bag of money around his finger as they walked out his front door and made their way to the gates of the manor.</p>
<p>"I'm telling you, when we graduate I'm getting a motorbike and we won't have to do unnecessary things such as walk into town," Sirius grumbled.</p>
<p>"You realize that we will just be able to apparate, yeah?" retorted Remus.</p>
<p>Sirius puffed an annoyed breath out of his nose in response, his arms crossed over his chest dramatically, (really, when are his arms not crossed over his chest like a drama queen?).</p>
<p>"Where are we going first?" James asked no one specifically.</p>
<p>Faeryn turned around to look at him, walking backward so she could face him as she talked. They were walking on a far too thin sidewalk that had way too many weeds growing out of the cracks. Faeryn and Remus were walking next to each other a few steps ahead of James and Sirius, who were attempting to get the same amount of steps in each square of sidewalk.</p>
<p>"We," she gestured excitedly to everyone, "Are going to a flea market!" she said excitedly.</p>
<p>James and Sirius glanced at each other, not even attempting to hide their shared look. "A flea market? Like the bug?" asked Sirius.</p>
<p>Remus joined his sister in walking backward, his face was straight with no amusement, "Yes, Padfoot. It's a market that has a giant selection of fleas to pick and buy from," he said monotonously.</p>
<p>Sirius and James didn't catch the joke and nodded in an attempt to come across as enthusiastic, their faces were twisted in smiles that merely looked to be grimaces, (at least they tried to be respectful?).</p>
<p>Faeryn tried her hardest to keep a straight face, and turned around to face forward so she could laugh silently to herself, Remus joining her a moment later with silent laughter of his own. But once their eyes met they were no longer able to stifle the sounds of their amusement, and they burst into loud gasping and broken sentences that were along the line of, '<em>did you see their— their faces!</em>' and '<em>They looked so s-scared!</em>'.</p>
<p>James and Sirius were not as amused, and instead veered their gaze to gawk as mysterious cars drove by them the closer they got to ther bus stop.</p>
<p>A few messy minutes later the group of four teenagers were crowded into three seats of a sketchy bus that should not have been as costly as it was to board. Faeryn was grumbling to herself as she sat on Sirius' lap. She occasionally sent a dirty look to Remus, who had the argument that 'he was the closest to the aisle so she would have the most space there'. She had retorted saying that 'no, it was weird,' but the argument had already been won.</p>
<p>Faeryn was the first off of the bus when they reached their stop, vows of hexing Sirius brainless were flying in her head and through her mouth.</p>
<p>Sirius and James weren't sure whether or not the twins had been kidding once they saw a sign that read, 'Flea market! 25% off this week!' and grimaced at the thought of fleas buzzing around them.</p>
<p>They sauntered through the gate, and they were suddenly surrounded by hundreds of muggles, tables filled with colorful jewelry, and random-looking furniture. Many people were covered in colorful clothes with long hair, odd sunglasses framing their faces. Sirius and James seemed to relax at the proof that it was clearly not an actual flea market.</p>
<p>The two boys walked to stand next to the twins, both of which were beaming at the flutter of muggles around them, Faeryn's eyes were darting excitedly from table to table, and her cheeks were permanently glued higher up from her smile that was stretching across her whole face.</p>
<p>James did not understand what was going on, but he surely knew that he liked it here. If she was going to be smiling like that he for certain never wanted to leave.</p>
<p>"Let's go to this table first, yeah?" Faeryn asked, pointing with dazed eyes as she looked at a young girl who had her hair up in a bun and fake elf ears over her ears. She had a deep blush covering her nose and long fake eyelashes, she looked like a Fairy. Faeryn found that ironic. She was stationed under a small tent and had two tables that were covered fully with different little trinkets and pretty homemade jewelry.</p>
<p>She grabbed ahold of Remus' wrist and dragged him along to peer longingly at all of the objects in the lady's booth. Sirius and James followed, looking fairly perplexed at the numerous items that were stacked haphazardly on both of the tables.</p>
<p>"Hello there, I'm Anastasia, do you see anything that catches your eye?" the lady questioned, peering excitedly at Faeryn who grinned up at her excitedly.</p>
<p>"Everything," she whispered. She felt weirdly in her element, maybe it was the feel of the fairy-like objects surrounding her, or the fact that her mother would presumably buy the whole table of trinkets and jewelry because of how much it seemed like her. She looked around at all the crystal embedded necklaces and rings that were beautifully made, and she felt a prickle at her eyes when she saw a necklace that was a golden chain, and in the middle was a purple stone that was wrapped in a gold wire, It looked identical to one her mother had worn in every picture she had of her, muggle or wizarding pictures alike. And although it wasn't the most unique necklace, she felt some sort of pull toward it, one she couldn't explain.</p>
<p>She looked up at the girl, and just then realized the boys had run off to the table next to Anastasia's, and were laughing as they stacked different hats on top of their head, the owner was watching unamused with bored eyes, Faeryn rolled her eyes and smiled up at the girl.</p>
<p>"Yes, actually. I really like this necklace here, what does it mean?" she asked, she prepared to listen intently and retain every detail about the necklace that she could.</p>
<p>The girl came around from her spot behind the table and tenderly picked up the necklace, beckoning Faeryn to turn around so she could clasp it around her neck. Faeryn furrowed her eyebrows, but turned around anyway and shivered as the coldness of the chain hit her skin.</p>
<p>As Anastasia worked to clasp the necklace she began in a light and airy voice explaining all about the stone meaning, how "the energies of purple crystals have the power to alleviate obstacles and restore the balance into life," and Faeryn turned back around to peer delicately down at the necklace as she finished explaining.</p>
<p>Faeryn looked back up at her with a gleam in her eyes, "how much do you want for it?" she asked, prepared to spend her small allowance on the necklace.</p>
<p>Anastasia tutted quietly in contemplation, Faeryn noticed as she looked over to where the boys were now regrettingly paying for multiple hats, the owner was grumbling at them that if "they touch it they pay for it,"</p>
<p>Anastasia noticed the amount they were paying without a second thought, all while Faeryn was peering lovingly down at the homemade necklace.</p>
<p>"Hmm," she began, Faeryn looked back up at her expectantly, "I believe that the energy behind this necklace is very strong, yes. I think you will do well in paying around forty pounds for it, yes," she said airily.</p>
<p>Faery's smile dropped to a sad frown, she didn't have enough money.</p>
<p>She smiled shyly back up at Anastasia, "I'm sorry miss. I can't afford it, would you take it off for me?" she asked quietly. The lady tutted sadly at her missed opportunity for profit and took off the necklace, placing it back down in its previous spot on the table. "Thanks for your time, hopefully someone good gets it. It seems like a very special necklace." Faeryn added.</p>
<p>Faeryn joined the boys a moment later, eyes cast down to her feet.</p>
<p>James looked up from where he was struggling to balance four hats on his arm and noticed that she didn't buy anything, he had been sure she was going to get that necklace she'd been eyeing, she all but screamed when she saw it. But instead, she looked with a frown at the grass that was touching the edges of her shoes.</p>
<p>"Hey, why didn't you get that necklace? I thought it looked pretty on you," he said.</p>
<p>She looked up at him, and his stomach did an uncomfortable flip when he noticed that the excited gleam that was so obvious a moment earlier was gone. She cleared her throat, seemingly trying to get rid of a lump that was stuck.</p>
<p>"Er... I couldn't afford it," she said sadly. And she swerved to assist Sirius and Remus with the annoying amount of hats they were trying to carry.</p>
<p>James glanced back at the other booth and began walking to the fairy-like lady. He glanced back at where his three friends were struggling to hold the hats, bickering over why they even bought them in the first place.</p>
<p>"Excuse me, how much for this necklace?" he asked. She turned to look at him, a mischievous glint in her eyes.</p>
<p>"Oh yes, a necklace for your girlfriend, I assume?" she asked.</p>
<p>James spluttered, "No, no... not my girlfriend." he expressed, Anastasia nodded.</p>
<p>"Sixty pounds," she stated.</p>
<p>James practically flinched, and though he didn't understand muggle money to a very big extent, he knew that was a lot of money for a necklace.</p>
<p>But he turned to glance at Faeryn again, a longing in his gaze that he could no longer hide. She was laughing as she stacked the hats on Sirius' head, they were practically falling off and Sirius looked very irritated to be the one who was having to carry them, even though he was the one to pick the first hat up in the first place. Her eyes were glowing with laughter, her pink lips tugged up to show her teeth which were perfect except for one pointy tooth on her bottom row of teeth which stuck forward and to the side a little more than the others. He smiled and turned back to the lady behind the desk.</p>
<p>"Deal," he said, and he paid and pocketed the necklace gently.</p>
<p>James joined the group a moment later and laughed at the very amusing sight of Sirius pouting, though it was very difficult to take him seriously when he had about twelve hats standing on his head, leaning dangerously to the side.</p>
<p>"Why in the world did you buy twelve hats!?" Faeryn scowled at him, Sirius just pouted even more dramatically, if that was even possible.</p>
<p>"You didn't actually have to buy them! He was just saying that to try and make money! You don't actually have to buy anything you touch, dumbarse!" she glowered.</p>
<p>Sirius huffed out of his nose, and he turned to walk to a different booth, seemingly forgetting he was balancing twelve different hats on his head that were definitely not made to be stacked together. And he kept walking even as he felt the weight on his head fall behind him to the grass.</p>
<p>"Black! Get your arse back here or I'll hex you into next Wednesday!" she whispered, Sirius pretended not to hear, and looked interested in a table that had very old furniture piled randomly under the tent.</p>
<p>Remus just rolled his eyes and kicked the hats away under a table cloth, gazing around him to check that no one saw. Sirius didn't mind the money that he practically threw away, forty pounds wasn't that much for him at all.</p>
<p>James and Faeryn glanced at each other, both giggling once they caught each other's eyes, and they joined the other two boys in a search for the row of booths that were filled with clothes. Instead, they found a booth that was full of vintage and fairly new records, and they spent the next hour or so going through and buying records from the few booths that had them.</p>
<p>Faeryn and James later left Sirius and Remus to continue their search for records and went to look at the clothes.</p>
<p>Faeryn would occasionally pull something from a rack that was embarrassingly colorful and hang it in front of her body, posing goofily with the mess of colors in an attempt to make him laugh. He laughed every time.</p>
<p>Both of them walked out of the market with new muggle clothes of all different varieties. Faeryn spent all of the 30 dollars she brought.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>On the night of August 9th, the last full moon before the new school year began, James padded into Faeryn's room in his pajamas, holding a small box in his hands. He stopped at the side of her bed nervously, shuffling from side to side as he wordlessly handed her the box. She raised her eyebrow at him.</p>
<p>"Open in," he whispered, knowing she wouldn't want to hear loud sudden sounds just before the moon filledt it's full extent.</p>
<p>She looked questionably at him before glancing down at the box, pulling at the ribbon slowly as if she was waiting for something to jump out at her.</p>
<p>James scoffed half-heartedly, "It's not a prank, I just thought you might like it," he whispered shyly, feeling way too vulnerable to be able to look her in her eyes, instead he watched her hands intently as she pulled off the lid of the box tenderly, her hands shaking in anticipation for the full moon.</p>
<p>She pulled away the tissue paper that was covering the gift, and she peered into the box. A gasp escaping her mouth when she saw the same necklace that she couldn't afford from the flea market.</p>
<p>She looked up to James, who was still shuffling nervously beside her bed, his socks slipping a little on the hardwood. Her eyes were suspiciously shiny in the dark of her room, the reflection of the almost full moon was gleaming off of her green eyes.</p>
<p>"James, you didn't have to," she whispered, but her actions contradicted her words as she fingered the stone and gently pulled it from where it was embedded in the box.</p>
<p>He smiled a little to himself at the joy in her eyes, "I wanted to, it really was no problem. Rich family, and all." he chortled.</p>
<p>She looked up at him again, unfallen tears gathering in her eyes. He wasn't sure if it was from the full moon or the necklace, but he chose to believe the latter.</p>
<p>"Thank you, you have no idea how much this means to me," she whispered as she handed the necklace to him and turned to face away from him, "Can you put it on?" she questioned.</p>
<p>"Yeah," he muttered, and she pulled her hair up as he draped the necklace around her neck. His fingers brushed against her skin as he clasped the gold chain together, and something bubbled in his chest when he saw goosebumps rise upon her flesh.</p>
<p>She gasped as the clasp fell against her neck, James thought it was just from the coolness of the metal.</p>
<p>No, it was from the feeling in her chest, the burning. She felt just the same as when she touched James, felt the weakening of the connection that she shared with her brother, the pulling of electricity in her chest, it burned. But it wasn't a bad kind of pain, it felt almost good. It felt safe.</p>
<p>She turned in her bed to face him with happiness but also confusion in her green eyes. "Did you charm it?" she questioned.</p>
<p>James' eyebrows raised, "Erm, yeah. How did you know?" he questioned.</p>
<p>Her gaze fell to look at the necklace around her neck, "I'm not sure, I could just tell." she lied.</p>
<p>James nodded, he hadn't been expecting that. He was going to tell her he charmed it but he didn't know she would be able to tell. "Oh, well. Yeah, I know we aren't supposed to use magic but I thought with everything that's going on right now it wouldn't hurt to give a little more protection," he started.</p>
<p>"So I remembered this one charm I read in a book once, and thought I'd try it," he pulled out a necklace from under his shirt, it matched Faeryn's, but the stone was red, "So they are connected now, if you ever get in any trouble you can draw magic from me," he said, and he tucked the necklace back under his shirt.</p>
<p>"It's really a cool charm, so you know. If I ever need more magic or energy I can pull from yours, too. But if you're uncomfortable with that I can find a way to make it one-sided," he whispered.</p>
<p>Faeryn gaped at him, her mouth was hanging limply open. James swallowed nervously, maybe he shouldn't have charmed the necklace. It was already kind of weird to buy it for her, so charming it was way too far. Nice going James, gotta go and—</p>
<p>She yanked him onto the bed with her and wrapped her arms tightly around him. This was the second time she was crying in his arms, and though he was grateful for the opportunity to be in such close contact with her, he would much prefer her to be happy while she was hugging him.</p>
<p>"thank you, thank you, thank you." she rasped against his chest.</p>
<p>He pulled away a bit to look down at her with a smile, "Anything for you," he whispered.</p>
<p>Faeryn grinned up at him before her face contorted into a grimace, the moon had filled.</p>
<p>Padfoot had snuck into the basement with Moony, so she just had to get through the transformation. For which James was thankful for, he wasn't sure if he could handle her screaming at random intervals throughout the night.</p>
<p>But something was wrong, by now she should be unable to talk, unable to really do anything.</p>
<p>But here she was whispering to herself, words he couldn't make out but words nonetheless.</p>
<p>"Somethings happening," she whispered, and it was the first thing he could understand.</p>
<p>"What— what wrong, is Moony okay?" he asked.</p>
<p>"Yeah, yeah. It's just... It doesn't hurt as bad as usual. I feel like I'm 12 again," she whispered, her eyes furrowed as she tried to figure out what was going on.</p>
<p>James just stared at her confused, "Isn't that good?" he asked tentatively.</p>
<p>"Yeah, yeah I think. But it means the connections breaking, which is probably not good," she whispered, her eyes were screwed tight as she still felt some of the pain of the transformation.</p>
<p>But it felt like she was feeling it through a tunnel, almost like there was a lid on the link between them.</p>
<p>She was racking her brains trying to think of why that could be happening when she gasped and grabbed onto the necklace that was around her neck.</p>
<p>"What? What happened?" James asked, he was sitting next to her as they leaned against the back of her bed.</p>
<p>"Nothing, nothing. It's fine," she said.</p>
<p>But really her brain was beginning to overheat with all of the thoughts running through her brain.</p>
<p>James.</p>
<p>It's James that's breaking the bond, and she knows that undoubtedly now.</p>
<p>But why? Why him?</p>
<p>Why is it that his touch and the connection of their magic is able to weaken the bond? Should she be worried about that?</p>
<p>She's really not sure how to feel about it, because she's happy she doesn't have to feel the hurt of the transformations, but she's not sure if she wants to lose the connection with Remus. Remus is safe, Remus can protect her if something happens.</p>
<p>But it seems the bond thinks that James can do the same, because the connection between them is thinner than it was that morning. And it seems that while she's wearing the necklace, it won't be coming back anytime soon.</p>
<p>A few moments later her bones stop tingling painfully, and she feels a dull ache. The moon was so painless that she hadn't felt that good after one since she was ten.</p>
<p>She would never take off that necklace, and he wouldn't either, not if she could do anything about it.</p>
<p>Because no matter how much she felt bad about Remus having to go through the pains of full moons seemingly alone now, why would she put herself through that when she could lessen it so easily?</p>
<p>She looked up at James, who was watching her with concerned but confused eyes.</p>
<p>And she smiled at him, just pure happiness in one look. He couldn't help but smile back.</p>
<p>She laid back in her bed sleepily, it seemed the tiredness she felt after a normal full moon didn't go away with the help of the necklace, though she surely wasn't complaining.</p>
<p>James made to stand up from her bed but froze when he felt her warm hand wrap around his wrist gently. He looked down at her questionably from where he was leaning against her headboard.</p>
<p>"Stay," she slurred tiredly, "I know you're tired, come on it's cold up here," she whispered as she pulled him down to lay next to her.</p>
<p>But it wasn't cold up there. James knew that. He stayed anyway. Why would he pass up that opportunity?</p>
<p>"Okay," he whispered, and he shuffled to lay under the covers, their shoulders touching, their hands' were inches apart.</p>
<p>"Goodnight, Tinkerbell," he whispered, but by the time he said it she had already closed her eyes and her breathing had evened out. She was asleep.</p>
<p>The situation finally settled in James' thoughts. <em>They were sleeping in the same bed. Oh my Merlin they were sleeping in the same bed!</em></p>
<p>He attempted to keep his breathing even, they had done this before in the hospital wing, <em>it's not weird.</em> there's nothing weird about it. Just two friends sleeping in the same bed after a full moon.</p>
<p>Nothing weird about it at all, he tried to reason.</p>
<p>His brain wouldn't accept the playing down of what they were doing.</p>
<p>
  <em>They were sleeping in the same bed for Merlin's sake! She asked him to stay!</em>
</p>
<p>He might just pass out from the excitement, really this is all he needed in life. He could probably just die right then and there and not mind.</p>
<p>He closed his eyes and attempted to silence his thoughts, though his attempts were unsuccessful as she turned to face him and nuzzled her face into his shoulder.</p>
<p>He thinks that he doesn't want to sleep that night, that he'd be perfectly okay with being awake to experience the once in the lifetime experience of sleeping in her bed.</p>
<p>But he can't help it that after a few minutes his eyes flutter shut sleepily, and he falls asleep with his legs tangled slightly with hers, the warmth of her body lulling him to sleep.</p>
<p>That night he did not dream, he just lay in a deep sleep. He slept better that night than he thought he ever had in his whole life.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>"James," Faeryn hissed.</p>
<p>"<em>Fnnnrhh</em>," he mumbled in his sleep, furrowing his face further into Faeryns neck.</p>
<p>"James!" she says louder, and the sound caused James to awake abruptly.</p>
<p>He blinked blearily to himself as his surroundings came into view, it took him a moment to realize he wasn't in his bed, and then he realized he was tangled up with someone. He pulled his head back from their neck confused and tired, his eyes popped wide when he saw the sight of Faeryn staring back at him.</p>
<p>
  <em>Ah, yes. He remembered now.</em>
</p>
<p>But he certainly did not remember falling asleep with his arm around her waist with his head in her neck, that's for sure. He also did not remember their legs tangled comfortably together, or her hand that was somehow cupping the side of his head.</p>
<p>He cleared his throat in an attempt to rid the lump that was preventing him from speaking.</p>
<p>He could not think, because they were tangled together so naturally, and she was smiling amused down at him.</p>
<p>She was practically glowing, how was it that she could wake up and look so stunning? He was sure he probably looked disgusting, and he removed his hand from her waist to run it through his hair.</p>
<p>"G'morning," he muttered sheepishly.</p>
<p>"Morning, Jay," she rasped back.</p>
<p>He couldn't help from letting his head drop back onto the pillow that they were sharing.</p>
<p><em>She called him Jay again. While they were sharing a pillow.</em> It was almost as if she was doing it on purpose at this point.</p>
<p>"You're in my bed," she said amused.</p>
<p>"Great observation skills, Lupin," he deadpanned.</p>
<p>She grinned at him, "I have good enough observation skills to know that someones going to walk in here in less than five minutes," she replied.</p>
<p>James sat up in realization, she was most likely telling the truth. If Sirius or his mom noticed he want in his bed, they would check her room first.</p>
<p>"yeah, okay. See you at breakfast!" he said hurriedly as he practically fell out of her bed, and beelined across the hallway to his room quietly.</p>
<p>Faeryn was unable to hide her grin and she shook her head to herself.</p>
<p>She really fancied him. Probably at an unhealthy amount at this point.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Oi, Evans!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Marauders and Co return to Hogwarts. Faeryn remembers something. Lily begins her quest to get Faeryn and James to find a corner and snog already.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chapter 24</p><p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─<br/>
oi, evans!<br/>
─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p><p>No one noticed the fact that both James' and Faeryn's magical signatures altered, or if they did, no one had enough care to discuss it.</p><p>The rest of the summer progressed as normal, daily activities of sneaking out hours past sunset to splash around in the dark with only one Lumos to light the river, cliche experiments with marijuana which turned into a common activity, extra remnants of silencing charms that Euphemia and Fleamont didn't have the guts to scold Remus and Sirius for, (more like the guts to hear what the silencing charms were hindering.)</p><p>The bond between Faeryn and Remus was at a standstill, at no time did it grow stronger or weaker since the evening that James gifted her the necklace.   </p><p>Remus huffed as he pulled both his and Faeryns trunks behind him, carefully worded pleadings of '<em>You don't love me!</em>' and '<em>I would do the same for you, Remmy!</em>' were finally able to crack Remus' insistence of his sister carrying her own trunk to their part of the train.</p><p>"Pete!" Faeryn grinned beside him, as she picked up the speed of her steps to reach the boy with a flush all over his body from the unexpected praise. She reached into her pocket with an excited smile on her face, as Remus tuned out the conversation to pretend to be struggling with the weight of the two trunks, (he wasn't struggling, he was a werewolf for fucksake.)</p><p>James paused mid-conversation as he was enthusiastically talking to Sirius about the possible outcomes of their welcoming prank that was to come, his ears carefully trained on the conversation taking place between Fae and Peter.</p><p>"—And we were in Diagon Alley and I saw this poster and it reminded me so much of you! So I thought 'hey why not' and went ahead and bought it. I hope it's right, I couldn't remember if you liked the Chudley Cannons or not but I got it anyway. And I don't know... I think it would look good—" She rambled.</p><p>James directed his eyes to the floor.</p><p>She saw a Chudley Cannons poster and thought of <em>Peter?</em> Merlin half of his room is covered in their merchandise! Also, she was rambling! Why was she rambling? Faeryn only rambles when she's nervous, why would she be nervous talking to <em>Peter</em>—</p><p>"Mate?" Sirius' voice interrupted his thoughts.</p><p>"Sorry, did you say something?" he asked shamelessly.</p><p>Sirius' lips formed into a knowing grin as he glanced at James, and he shook his head as he trained his eyes forward again.</p><p>"Nah, just looked like you were zoning out, is all," he stated, and James chuckled humorlessly before he continued his previous conversation with Sirius as they stepped onto the train.</p><p>Walking through the narrow passageway to their usual compartment, he passed Mary and Faeryn lingering outside of the cubicle next to theirs whispering in hushed tones to a smirking Marlene Mckinnon.</p><p>"—Shagging <em>Dorcas Meadowes!</em> Are you serious, that Ravenclaw kid? Why didn't you tell us?" Mary was saying excitedly as Faeryn beamed at her friend.</p><p>Everyone was getting into relationships except for him.</p><p>That fact was deemed more true as Peter began to talk rapidly as he gestured wildly with his hands describing his summer which was filled with his muggle neighbor sneaking into his room at night.</p><p><em>Merlin</em>, even <em>Peter</em> had a girlfriend!</p><p>It's not that he couldn't get into a relationship, many girls gazed longingly at him in the great hall, or would nervously ask him on dates to Hogsmeade. He could have almost any girl he wanted.</p><p><em>Almost</em>.</p><p>But the one girl he wanted he would never be able to have.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Remus <em>despised</em> boys, ignoring the fact that he was a raging poof. More specifically, he hated <em>straight</em> boys. Especially since they had spent the past 15 minutes of the welcoming feast ogling at his little sister.</p><p>He didn't think it was that big of a deal that she went through <em>some developments</em> over the summer, it's normal, a lot of the girls mysteriously show up after summer with some parts of them more grown than they used to be.</p><p>It's anatomy, and it's <em>gross</em> that they are staring at her like that. <em>Merlin</em> why are they <em>looking</em> at her like that!</p><p>God, they were essentially undressing her with their eyes.</p><p>Not to say that Faeryn wasn't pretty in her past years of school, she was gorgeous always. But it turns out that it took the expansion of some things for anyone to really <em>notice</em> that fact.</p><p>Remus didn't like that they now noticed that fact.</p><p>And neither did James.</p><p>First of all, with all this new attention, who's to say Faeryn won't find someone to date? Someone who isn't James? Second of all, who the <em>hell</em> were these people that were looking at her like she was a prize waiting to be taken.</p><p>Faeryn was a gift from the gods, everything about her was perfect, her voice, her hair, her eyes, and — yes the rest of her was quite nice as well, James couldn't deny that.</p><p>But the rest of her was not why he liked her, unlike the rest of the shallow boys that were <em>not</em> being so secretive with their glances towards her chest area.</p><p>Okay not just boys, but James decided to ignore the sight of Mary staring determinedly, eye-level with her breasts. Faeryn was glaring as she tried to push her head away, frustrated grunts and snippets of sentences escaping her mouth.</p><p>"<em>Mary!</em>" Faeryn protested.</p><p>Mary disregarded her as she kept rambling distantly and stared appraisingly toward Faeryn.</p><p>"Just so beautiful, honestly Rynn I know I'm straight but if you'd just let me <em>touch</em>—" Mary began to slowly inch her hand closer to Faeryn's chest.</p><p>Lily laughed as she slapped Mary's hand away, "Bad girl. No touching the art." she snickered.</p><p>Remus rolled his eyes as he stabbed his fork into his dinner, focusing his attention on Peters' and Sirius' conversation.</p><p>Faeryn crossed her arm over her chest and tried to ignore as her best friends discussed <em>her tits.</em></p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>A week into the term was the first full moon of sixth year.</p><p>By then there were hardly any wandering eyes, only a few and far glances every once in a while, and Faeryn couldn't be more thankful.</p><p>Especially as she sat at breakfast the morning after, she possibly had mashed potatoes in her hair but she was too tired to even check, let alone <em>care</em>.</p><p>Moony was far too rowdy the previous night, they had to put in extra effort keeping him in check. The wolf did not fancy being locked back up over the summer.</p><p>Faeryn was feeling both her sleepiness and Remus'. She was sure she was going to pass out by the time she made it to potions, which Remus got to skip, (because if he was bad at it normally, he was absolutely <em>atrocious</em> at it when he was tired.)</p><p>But Faeryn still had to begin the trip down to the dungeons with her eyes closing on their own accord, she still had to sit down in her seat, she still had to listen to Slughorn drone on about the after-effects of some potion she didn't have the energy to remember the name to.</p><p>She was snapped out of her daze when she distantly saw a worn green book peeking out of the top of James' bag.</p><p>His diary.</p><p>Her heart dropped, her whole stomach seemed to twist into itself until her whole lower body was in shambles, her mouth fell dry.</p><p>Oh, Merlin, she forgot that he was <em>literally in love</em> with someone.</p><p>Her gaze dropped to her hands that were sitting in her lap as her whole body slumped into her chair.</p><p>Faeryn chose the wrong day to sit beside Lily Evans in potions, the fiery redhead seemed to notice everything about her friends. No matter how small the movement was, she would zero in on it and practically figure out your whole life story in mere seconds.</p><p>Faeryn knew the drill, once she felt Lily nudge her arm she knew there was <em>no way</em> she would get out of that classroom without telling Lily what was wrong.</p><p>Faeryn sighed sadly before she licked her lips in an attempt to make up for the dryness, she chuckled quietly, humorless.</p><p>"He's in love with someone else." She muttered as she looked at the back of James' head.</p><p>Lily didn't have to ask who she was talking about, and although she knew that James was in fact in love with <em>Faeryn</em>, she still felt sympathy for her friend, who somehow was oblivious to the longing looks he constantly showered her with.</p><p>Lily smiled reassuringly at her, "How do you know? Did he tell you or something?" she whispered.</p><p>Faeryn shook her head as a guilty look washed over her face, Lily braced herself.</p><p>"I read his diary," she mumbled.</p><p>Lily had to stifle her laughter. "Why in the world would you read his — Oh my god he has a diary?" she had a mischievous smile on her face.</p><p>Faeryn opened her mouth, but second-guessed herself and shut it with a snap. "Yes?"</p><p>Lily smirked. "How do you know he wasn't talking about you, hmm? Did you read who he was talking about?"</p><p>Faeryn considered her question for a moment before shaking her head, "No, no. I mean it just said something like 'Oh no, I think I'm in love with her' or something," she grumbled.</p><p>"Ladies!"</p><p>Both Lily and Faeryn snapped their heads to face Professor Slughorn, who had walked right up next to their desk without either of them noticing.</p><p>"Is there something that is so important that you can't wait to talk about it after class, and instead have to disrupt my lesson? Would you be willing to share with us?" Slughorn chastised.</p><p>Faeryn didn't miss the side of Lily's lips twitching into a smirk for a moment as she trained her eyes on James, whose eyes widened slightly at the attention as he had turned in his seat to understand what had happened.</p><p>"Yes Professor, actually. Faeryn and I were talking about the probability of someone—" Lily began.</p><p>Faeryn's eyes widened as she slapped a hand over Lily's mouth, effectively shutting her up. She quickly glanced up at the blackboard to see what the lesson was about, Slughorn's messy scrawl of handwriting was sufficiently too confusing for her to understand, and in the time Faeryn sat staring blankly at the board Lily removed her hand from her mouth.</p><p>"We were just discussing why an ingredient such as scurvy grass would be used in a befuddlement draught, sir." she smiled up at Slughorn, whose eyes shone at the brilliance of her statement.</p><p>"Ah, a brilliant point, Ms. Evans. So as you can see..." He began babbling again, Faeryn droned him out as she had become so skilled at doing. Lily swears that if Faeryn put half of the effort she puts into cheating then she would be one of the top of the class. Faeryn disagrees.</p><p>Lily turned her attention back to Faeryn, who gave her a bemused look.</p><p>"Just you wait Faeryn Lupin. I'll prove to you that James Potter is in love with you. Just you fucking wait." she said with a devilish smirk. If Faeryn wasn't so self-deprecating, she would have believed her. But there was no way a boy like <em>James Potter</em> could ever fall in love with <em>her</em>.</p><p>Faeryn watched with little amusement as Lily carefully levitated James' diary out of the back of his bag. Neither of the girls could see as both James and Sirius smirked when they noticed the absence of the book.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>It was only a few hours later as multiple groups of Gryffindors were lounging in the warm common room that Lily Evans' shouts echoed around the walls.</p><p>"Potter! Oh, you're so dead!" She bellowed. The amusement that James and Sirius were feeling earlier slipped right off of their faces as they saw the giant fiery ball of energy that was Lily Evans barreling toward their claimed couch in a corner of the common room.</p><p>Remus and Peter, who were busy in a close game of Wizarding Chess, both glanced up from their game and rolled their eyes. Only James and Sirius were dumb enough to purposely place themselves under the wrath of the devil herself.</p><p>Neither of the boys looked up as they saw the succession of bright hexes flying past their heads, they also didn't pay any mind to the sounds of pain coming from their friends' mouth.</p><p>"Ow! Evans, I didn't even <em>do anything!</em>" Sirius tried.</p><p>"Don't try that with me, Black. I know you two are a package deal with your pranks," she grumbled, her face taking on a bone-freezing scowl.</p><p>"Evans! Did you do something new to your hair?" James teased, his lips quirked up into a faux sweet smile.</p><p>"Potter, wipe that fucking smile off of your face or I swear you will never have a reason to smile again." she threatened.</p><p>James complied.</p><p>He knew not to mess with Lily Evans' threats. He learned the hard way in second year when he had to go a whole term with no hair. James would forever swear that it was the worst four months of his life.</p><p>Lily relaxed at the sight of his smile slipping off of his face, she still had power over him. That would quite help with her hardly-put-together plan of getting Faeryn and James to get over themselves and <em>snog already.</em></p><p>She sighed as her smile morphed from terrifying to kind, "Okay, Potter. Now tell me how to get this black out of my hair." she demanded.</p><p>"You know, Evans. I think the black is really working out for you—" Sirius started.</p><p>Lily wordlessly cast a silencing charm on him as she dragged James by his ear up to his dorm room.</p><p>"<em>Oi!</em> Evans— Ow... you can <em>let go now</em>, I'm <em>coming!</em> Merlin!" he complained.</p><p>Lily plopped herself onto Remus' bed as she spoke the incantation to change her hair back to its regular red color.</p><p>James spluttered from where he was standing in the middle of his room. "<em>What?</em> Evans, you just said that you needed my help with the—"</p><p>"I know you're in love with Faeryn." she interrupted.</p><p>James' mouth snapped shut as his whole complexion paled.</p><p>Okay, Lily could admit that was not the best way to bring up the circumstance. But if Potter spoke another word she would have probably hexed his face off, and that wouldn't be the kindest thing she could do for Faeryn.</p><p>"Does she know?" he asked in an uncharacteristically quiet voice.</p><p>Lily shook her head, "No, of course not. I wouldn't tell someone's secret like that." she confessed.</p><p>Lily was telling the absolute truth. As much as she would like to tell James that Faeryn was (probably) in love with him too so that they could finally get together, she wouldn't do that to her friend. This was something the two needed to figure out by themselves. (That's not to say she couldn't <em>help</em>.)</p><p>James deflated at that, and sank onto his bed that was across from Remus' with a groan. A moment later he was sitting up facing Lily while dragging a hand down his face.</p><p>"It's dumb, I know. She deserves someone better than me. You don't have to tell me about all my flaws... It's just — she's <em>so</em> —" he started, and he sounded so defeated. Lily would forever deny that she felt bad for James Potter in that moment.</p><p>"I approve, you know," she said, and his head popped up, eyes wide and hopeful.</p><p>"I mean you're right, you don't deserve her," James' hopeful expression slipped right off of his face, "but, let's be honest, no one does. And out of everyone else, I think you're the best match," she said with a gentle smile.</p><p>James could hardly contain the wide grin that was threatening to pop out on his face.</p><p>"But don't be mistaken, Potter. If you do anything, and I mean <em>anything</em>, to hurt her. Well, you've seen what can happen." she shrugged, and she stood up from Remus' bed and made her way out of the sixth year boys dormitory.</p><p>It took James a moment to get a hold of himself enough to reply, Merlin's middle metacarpus was that <em>permission?</em> From <em>Lily Evans?</em></p><p>"I would never!" he yelled through the closing door.</p><p>Lily smiled at that, if there was one thing she was certain about, she knew James Potter would never purposely hurt Faeryn Lupin.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>James Potter was intelligent.</p><p>Lily Evans couldn't deny that. But sometimes his ignorance got in the way of that.</p><p>And for once in her life, Lily was thankful that James was the ignorant git he was.</p><p>Because although he charmed his diary to hex her once she opened it, he wasn't smart enough to actually take his diary back from her after the hexing had taken place.</p><p>So that night she jumped onto her bed and pulled the curtains snuggly around her so that she was out of sight. She had a mischievous smile on her face as she gingerly opened the green book that was sitting in her crossed lap. It didn't hex her, and she now had full access to each and every one of James Potter's thoughts.</p><p>What an idiot.</p><p>Though about an hour later her smile had morphed into a hateful glare aimed at the yellowing pages below her, as if it was the paper's fault that James Potter really was an annoyingly clever git.</p><p>Page after page, word after word (which were starting to blur together, which was not a usual trait for her), and not once, <em>not fucking once</em> did he mention Faeryns name.</p><p>He talked about her a lot, yes, indirectly though. But he never, <em>never</em>, used her name. Just she, and her. And for the millionth time in her life, Lily Evans wished that James Potter was as simple-minded as she told him he was.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey! It’s been a month but i’m finally back. I should be popping out more chapters in the next few weeks so stay tuned.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Lost Cause</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Peter has a birthday party.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chapter 25</p>
<p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─<br/>lost cause<br/>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p>
<p>Sirius Black found it incredibly offensive that Peter Pettigrew was one week older than him.</p>
<p>Why couldn't the git wait at least two more weeks to come pushing his way out of his poor mother's womb? It would have probably done him some good anyway, he even mentioned one time that he was born prematurely. It was as if he was born earlier <em>just</em> to spite Sirius.</p>
<p>That means that currently, Sirius was sulking like the natural-born dramatic that he was, a drink in his right hand and his left hand finding solace in the sleeping werewolf's hair that was passed out on his lap. It was considerably rude of Remus to sleep through the entirety of Peter's birthday party, and Sirius wasn't sure he loved him more than he did at that moment.</p>
<p>And Lily Evans could argue that she had never been more <em>frustrated</em> than she was at that moment.</p>
<p>Because both Faeryn and James were sitting on opposite sides of the common room drinking away their sorrows as they <em>so obviously</em> looked longingly at each other for the whole night.</p>
<p>And they still both had the audacity to deny even the concept of the other one returning their fancy. They were both overdramatic self-deprecating sods, and Lily Evans would have none of it.</p>
<p>Okay, more like she would <em>try</em> to have none of it. Because she had spent a good amount of the previous two months trying to get even the slightest amount of self-confidence ingrained into James' dull brain in an attempt to talk him into confessing his affections.</p>
<p>At first, he had tried to explain why it was so impossible that Faeryn would ever see him as more than a friend, and when Lily would have counterpoints for each argument he attempted to make, he would just sigh like a love-sick fool and sulk the rest of the day in denial.</p>
<p>Then when she realised James would be a lost cause, she switched her efforts to focus on Faeryn, who was more annoying than James, honestly. For she would just wave her hand and laugh it off, because for no apparent reason, the idea of James Potter returning her fancy was only one thing, <em>laughable</em>. And then when Lily had cornered her and attempted to tell her that it was in fact very plausible for him to like her, she gave a very terrible reason for why it just wasn't true, (it was a very <em>good</em> reason and honestly if Lily were in her shoes she would think the same thing.)</p>
<p>Her reasoning was that '<em>If James Potter even had any interest in me, I would know. He practically shouts all of his feelings to the great hall every morning. Potter is a very public person, if he fancied me he would have spelled it out in fireworks or something.</em>'</p>
<p>And very similar to James, Faeryn slumped into the chair she was inhabiting and spent the rest of the day brooding over the fact that James Potter hadn't spelled all of the portraits to sing her sonnets.</p>
<p>That day was the day Lily determined that James Potter and Faeryn Lupin were perfect for each other.</p>
<p>But as she sat in between Rowan's legs in front of the fire as Brussel sprouts (out of all possible vegetables, why Brussel sprouts?) flew around their heads, she was really questioning her never-ending need to get them together. Because at that point, if they were meant to be, it would happen naturally, right? Lily refused to find out though, and it may have been the alcohol thrumming through her veins, or the feeling of Rowan's clumsy hands running through her hair, or maybe it was the burn of the opened mouth kisses she was leaving all over the back of her neck, but she made a promise to herself, well, technically it was a promise to herself, Faeryn, and James.</p>
<p>She promised that she would get the two of them together before the end of Sixth year, which gave her approximately 7 months. That would surely be enough time. And if by then the two dolts hadn't gotten over themselves and finally shagged then she would force it to happen. There was nothing Lily Evans wasn't willing to do.</p>
<p>It might not have been the most enjoyable thing to set a due date, Tetragrammaton knew that she had more than enough due dates to handle, and that wasn't including her duties as a prefect. But now that her intoxicated mind had set a date, there was no point for return.</p>
<p>She leaned further into her Ravenclaws chest, a breathy sigh escaping her lips quiet enough that only Rowan could hear it as her eyes closed. If Lily weren't so distracted she would have seen two of her fellow Gryffindors gazing at her in what could only be described as jealousy.</p>
<p>James had allowed himself to look at them, knowing that once he did all he would be able to do the rest of the night would be to pine like a lovestruck girl. And as it did every few nights, his brain was flooded with the reminder that everyone was in love <em>but him.</em> As he was lost in his thoughts he didn't notice that his eyes slid over to gaze longingly at Faeryn, who was staring blankly at her shoelaces as she waved her wand to make them dance.</p>
<p>She wasn't wearing anything extravagant or showy, and yet James was still indescribably entranced by her beauty. In fact, she was only in one of her patterned sweaters accompanied by jeans. James frowned, Faeryn hated wearing jeans, she was more one to wear what was comfortable, not what was fashionable. He watched as one of her shoelaces snapped and she sank further into her chair. She looked sad, and not just from the breaking of her shoelace. In fact, she had looked sad for many weeks prior, multiple times James caught himself itching to kiss the frown off of her face. Maybe one day he would break and finally do it.</p>
<p>"Oi!" he was knocked out of his stupor as Sirius <em>literally</em> knocked into him as he fell onto the cushion that James was previously hogging.</p>
<p>"Stop gazing at her like a dramatic twat and go tell her how you feel," Sirius demanded way louder than need be. Noisy enough that a few heads swiveled to hear about who the famous James Potter was into. One of those being Faeryn.</p>
<p>Luck really wasn't on her side, maybe if she had been paying attention to the party around her and not daydreaming as she ruined her shoelaces to a point of no return she would have noticed that the one James was so smitten with, was her. But as English so rudely decided, <em>maybe</em> did not mean that she <em>did</em> notice him staring at her. It meant that now her stomach was in knots because there was more proof that James was in love with someone else, and now Sirius was pushing him to get with her. Sirius who had listened to her dramatics about how much she liked James Potter's <em>hands</em>, or how much she liked his <em>voice</em>, or the way the tips of his ears would go pink when someone said something a little too improper. And she had thought he wanted her to get with him. Apparently not.</p>
<p>She sighed as she stood up to fetch another drink. God knew she really needed it. But she was halfway to the table that was stacked too-full of drinks and crushed bottles when someone yelled out.</p>
<p>"Who wants to play veritaserum or dare?"</p>
<p><em>Fuck</em>.</p>
<p>Faeryn would have much rather sat in the corner of the room smoking, watching as the fifth, sixth, and seven years flowed disorderly until they couldn't walk anymore. Faeryn did <em>not</em> play drinking games. But along with the many quirks that come with being friends with Marauders, there were few downsides. One being that she was literally being dragged to the middle of the common room by Sirius bloody Black.</p>
<p>"Sirius, <em>you arse</em>, let me go," she lamented, but her choice words of opposition and disagreement weren't enough for Sirius and his traitorous personality to drag her to sit right next to James.</p>
<p>"I have the sneaking suspicion that you had something to do with this," she grumbled to Sirius, who gladly plopped down in between her and Remus with a goofy grin on his face, looking too similar to a dazed puppy with its tongue hanging out of its mouth.</p>
<p>"Why would I ever do somethin' like that?" he slurred, Faeryn just rolled her eyes. An intoxicated Sirius was as much amusing as it was horrifying.</p>
<p>Her eyebrows furrowed and she glanced up to Lily who was sitting at the other side of the too-big circle as a bottle was placed in the middle of everyone and spun. Lily caught her eye with an eyebrow quirked at the misuse of a bottle in the game truth or dare.</p>
<p>Remus was the only one brave enough to say anything, and Sirius acted offended at his boyfriend's mistrust of his knowledge in drinking games.</p>
<p>"Come on, Moons. Whoever spins the bottle asks whoever it lands on a truth or dare question," he said, like it was a well-known fact.</p>
<p>There were a few people the bottle landed on that she didn't know that well, so them confessing their love for someone or getting dare to streak in front of Filch didn't really bother her.</p>
<p>But then Lily spun the bottle.</p>
<p>Lily is a bastard. Faeryn could determine by her smirk that she did it on purpose, she just didn't know how.</p>
<p>The bottle landed on James, who returned Lily's smirk. But his face dropped when he said "dare" and Sirius tutted as he shook his head.</p>
<p>"No Prongs, did you forget? You said dare last time, you have to do a truth." his smirk grew.</p>
<p>
  <em>What a stupid rule.</em>
</p>
<p>Because now Faeryn had to watch as James threw back the shot of firewhisky that was spiked with just the <em>right</em> amount of veritaserum, (she wasn't going to ask <em>where</em> they got the veritaserum at, it was a highly regulated potion, and she didn't need to know what other illegal activities her brother was partaking in without her). And she had to watch as his eyes glazed once the effects took him over.</p>
<p>"James Potter, do you fancy anyone?" Lily asked with a manic glint in her eyes.</p>
<p>Faeryn's heart dropped as James nodded.</p>
<p>"Yeah, yeah. She's actually in this room you know and it's funny cause she's actually playing—" he began, but the last words of his sentence were muffled by the palm of Peter's hand.</p>
<p>When he returned to his non-drugged state he patted Peter on the back and muttered a thanks to him.</p>
<p>Sirius and Lily both sent blood-freezing glares in Peter's direction.</p>
<p>Traitor.</p>
<p>The game continued with only little embarrassment and a lot of hopeless pining from both James and Fae.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Lily loved Faeryn, <em>honestly</em>, she <em>really did.</em></p>
<p>But she was going to kill her. She was going to murder her and make her go through a horribly slow and painful death.</p>
<p>For right when they got back to their dormitory Faeryn plopped onto her bed and hid herself under her covers in a sulk.</p>
<p>Lily just sat on the edge of her own bed waiting.</p>
<p>Faeryn sighed.</p>
<p>Lily didn't answer.</p>
<p>Faeryn sighed even louder.</p>
<p>Lily rolled her eyes as she gave in, "What's wrong, Lupin?" she deadpanned.</p>
<p>"He's in love with someone who was in the circle," she groaned sadly.</p>
<p>"Maybe it was you," Lily supplied.</p>
<p>Faeryn just sniffled.</p>
<p>Lily blamed the alcohol for what she did.</p>
<p>"Rynn, I love you, but you are disgustingly oblivious. Like so annoyingly oblivious. I honestly don't understand <em>how</em> someone could be as oblivious as you. I honestly applaud you, honestly. Because I've read about people like you in books and just deemed it as unrealistic, but here <em>you</em> are sitting in front of me as solid proof." she huffed.</p>
<p>Faeryn removed her head from under her covers to look at her quizzically.</p>
<p>"Faeryn, he is <em>in love with you!</em> Everyone knows it! I know it, <em>Remus</em> knows it, Sirius knows it. Everyone knows it <em>but you!</em>" she burst.</p>
<p><em>Oops</em>.</p>
<p>"So funny, Lily. Honestly, <em>such</em> a funny thing to say." she deadpanned, Lily couldn't dismiss that she looked a little hurt.</p>
<p>"Faeryn, he <em>told</em> me! It's absolutely disgusting how smitten he is with you. And if I have to hear him talk about your hair, or your eyes, or your hands <em>one more time</em> I'll crucio him." she snapped.</p>
<p>Faeryn looked back at her with wide eyes before she slumped back into her stupor.</p>
<p>"It's probably just a prank," she muttered.</p>
<p>Lily fell back onto her bed with a slack jaw, "<em>Oh honestly!</em> You are a lost cause" she yelled to the ceiling of her bed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Prophecy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>James and Faeryn overhear important information, Faeryn falls in love.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>chapter 26</p><p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─<br/>prophecy<br/>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p><p>Although she denied any hint Lily tried to send her way that James was in love with her, Faeryn couldn't stop imagining the possibility of it being true.</p><p>Faeryn knew she was oblivious, she had been told that many times throughout her life. And no matter how hard she tried to overcome the problem, she always found she was sliding past things like a blind fish in an aquarium, oblivious to all of the people watching through the glass.</p><p>So maybe, <em>maybe</em> there was a possibility that he did perhaps see her as more than a friend, him being <em>in love</em> with her was a whole different story. But she couldn't stop herself from pondering what it would be like if he was in love with her, holding hands in the corridors, pranking each other before breakfast, whispers of 'I love you' in passing, whispers of 'I love you' while spending time during study period familiarizing the unfamiliar aspects of each other. Faeryn had been fine with her one-sided longing looks, the way her heart would speed up when he smiled at her. But now there was a sting in her chest along with the butterflies that regularly occurred when he spoke her name.</p><p>Perhaps he was in love with her. Maybe he thought of her the same way she thought of him, dreams of what-could-be keeping her in bed until she was late to herbology in an attempt to feel the faux softness of his lips against her neck. Possibly he thought of her and his chest ached in longing, his heart speeding up and his toes tingling.</p><p>But Faeryn wouldn't dare to find out.</p><p>She had already been humiliated once, and she wasn't willing to have it happen again. There was the possibility that if she even <em>hinted</em> her feelings to James, she would be humiliated, not necessarily by him, but by the whispers that would float past her ears in the corridors as the aftershock of her rejection. It would not happen again, she simply would not let it. If James was in love with her, he would have to do something first.</p><p>Maybe Faeryn was wrong for that, she knew that, she knew that she was flawed. Isn't everyone, though? Doesn't everyone have a lapse in judgement at some point in their lives? Even if she was wrong, at least this way she was protecting herself from any possible hurt. She had been maltreated too much throughout her life, and she was willing enough to sacrifice possible happiness with James for the reassurance that she would be secure.</p><p>Not to say that didn't kill her, it killed her to think that she could be wrong, that she could confess to him and be happy and in love like the muggle fairy tales her mother used to read to her as a child.</p><p>Maybe she would change her mind, maybe she would realize she was wrong at some point and hone in on her Gryffindor courage. But now was not that time. Now was for self-preservation.</p><p>Faeryn was all for breaking gender stereotypes, the ones where the men run the relationship and make all the moves, she was all for the idea of her going up to James in the common room and confessing, kissing him until she couldn't breathe and her lips were red and chapped. But she would not do it. She would not sacrifice herself as she had so many other times for other people. She deserved security and safety. And if James wanted to be the one that provided that for her, then he would simply have to take matters into his own hands and do it himself.</p><p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p><p>Faeryn was thankful that she had made a decision, because it made being with James that much easier, and thankfully more enjoyable. Which was a good feat, because she was alone with James at that moment. Stuck in a broom cupboard. Thanks to her best friend Lily who she had previously loved and admired, until she slammed and locked the door with a spell that they could not unlock for the life of them, effectively causing Faeryn and James to miss their shared potions class.</p><p>It had been half an hour before James finally gave up and sat across from Faeryn, his back leaning against the shelves that Lily had vanished all of the contents of, because <em>god forbid</em> they see them and magically use them to somehow escape, Faeryn grumbled at the thought, James did not comment on it. Faeryn had been slumped uncomfortably against her side of the too-small closet since five minutes into their disaster, her back digging into the stones and her toes going numb from digging her feet so hard into the tiles as to not slide down the wall.</p><p>Faeryn was the first to speak, words tumbling out of her mouth before she could filter them through her mind and over analyze what she would say.</p><p>"I'm in love with someone," she stated, and her eyes widened as the words bounced off the walls.</p><p>She hadn't even admitted that in her head, so why, <em>why</em>, did she admit it to the object of her affection, <em>of all people!</em></p><p>Her face heated up at that realization, he would look her in the eyes and know it was him she was talking about. And then the blush spread to her neck and ears as she processed her words, she was in love with James. How did that happen? When did that happen?</p><p>She closed her eyes and gently tilted her head to face the ceiling. This was outrageous and idiotic and so incredibly embarrassing. It seemed she had gone too long without speaking to her father, for he was the reason her filter had such tiny holes to allow only a specific amount of her to reveal itself.</p><p>Why did she say that? She was highly tempted to run straight to Dumbledore's office the moment Lily finally let her out of that awful cupboard just to steal a time-turner and pretend it never happened.</p><p>God this was so embarrassing, if she thought she was flawed before, she surely did now. What kind of idiot just blurts something like that as a conversation starter. It was so childish and something even a twelve-year-old wouldn't do.</p><p>James seemed to take it better than her mind did, for all he did was hum quietly in the back of his throat and turn his eyes to the ceiling in a mimic of Faeryn, and say "me too,"</p><p>This had Faeryn's eyes snapping open and her head dropping to stare daggers into the underside of his chin, because she had just thought she said something so dumb, but then he went and said the same thing as her reassurance. She couldn't lie to herself and say that didn't make her heart flutter warmly. James always had done that, somehow always knew when she was second-guessing herself and would always find a way to make her feel even the least bit more comfortable. Maybe that's one of the reasons she was in love with him.</p><p>Faeryn hummed as an echo of him, hers higher pitched and raspier. "That's good for us, huh? Falling in love while there is most definitely a war blooming outside the castle," she said, trying desperately to change the subject because there was a possibility he would confess it was her, or that it <em>wasn't</em>. She wasn't sure which one was worse.</p><p>"I don't want to talk about that, Faeryn," he said gloomily, he always seemed so dull when the war was in the conversation, so she tried something else.</p><p>She smiled slightly and looked down at her hands that were messing with her many rings, her hair falling slightly in front of her eyes, "Did anything interesting happen last night? I may have left a surprise in Sirius' bed," she chuckled slightly.</p><p>Through her caramel-colored hair, she could see James' face light into a smile as his shoulders shook silently.</p><p>"Yeah, actually. You're quite lucky Remus was in the bathroom when it happened," he smiled wider, but then his expression dropped and his face turned serious as his eyes turned to sear into hers, her chest vibrated in nervous anticipation, "Faeryn Lupin, I'm actually going to murder you," he stated. And the nervousness in her chest dissipated into laughter as her smile reappeared.</p><p>"Don't laugh! You saw me at breakfast this morning and it's your fault!" he said, trying to sound serious but failing as his eyes lit up and his lips twitched into a smile.</p><p>Faeryn did see him at breakfast that morning, with his hair green to match Sirius', a pout on both of their faces.</p><p>"He thought I did it and hexed me! I had to sit in the hospital wing for a whole hour as Poppy tried to figure out how to get my hair black again," he pouted similarly to earlier that day at breakfast.</p><p>Faeryn desperately tried to keep her laugh inside and quiet, but it was simply too much and her eyes watered as she slid further down the wall as she lost her grip to the ground, and was laying on the ground loud and content with giggles as James' pout transformed into a burst of laughter and an open-mouthed smile.</p><p>Though they both abruptly stopped when they heard someone turn down the corner, shoes loudly echoing off of the high corridor ceilings.</p><p>Snape.</p><p>Both Faeryn and James shuffled quietly to rest their ears against the door, straining to quiet their loud breaths to hear what he was saying.</p><p>"— As I was assigned to do something else for him, but I'm positive he'll be pleased with what I just heard," he was saying, Fae and James missed the beginning of the conversation, and were obviously missing vital pieces of information.</p><p>"Well go on," said another voice, though it was timid and nervous, his words seeming to tumble out of his mouth shakily and uncertain.</p><p>As the voices got nearer Faeryn screwed her right eye shut and peered through the small crack in the side of the locked door in an attempt to put voices to names, she held in a gasp as she saw the group of three that passed by the door.</p><p>Snape, which they could recognize from his voice. Avery, whose head was held high with confidence as his stance seemed to say he was proud to be hearing such important information from an older classmate.</p><p>And Regulus Black.</p><p>His eyes were planted to stare at his feet, every step he took was full of uncertainty, his hands were clasped tightly in front of him, but he was unable to stop the shakiness in his fingers from showing.</p><p>Faeryn was too busy staring at his shockingly scared face that she missed the end of Snape's words as they turned the corner on the other side of the hall, their voices tapering off leaving just the sound of their mingled breaths in the broom cupboard.</p><p>"I didn't hear what he said at the end," Faeryn said, hoping James was paying attention and could fill her in.</p><p>"A prophecy," he breathed out, his voice more of a breathy whisper than anything else. He seemed shocked into silence.</p><p>"Did he say what it was?"</p><p>"Not — not directly. But Dumbledore was interviewing a new teacher for divination, Someone named Huxley. And they presented a prophecy, something along the lines of '<em>...Those who are connected, will stretch by the wind,</em>' er... and then something like, '<em>A calling of nature shall pull them together, and as such, they are bound to defeat the Black Tide?</em>' or something," he said, Faeryn stared at him wide-eyed, because one, how did he memorize that, for there was no way the words he just recited were all correct, two, how long had she been zoning out, and three, was Snape telling this to the person she thought he was?</p><p>She slouched into her previous spot against the stone wall, uncaring if there were rocks digging into her skin</p><p>"<em>...Those who are connected...</em>"</p><p>"<em>...Bound to defeat the Black Tide...</em>"</p><p>Faeryn did not like the sinking feeling in her chest as she thought over those words, she particularly did not like how common they sounded to her and Remus' predicament.</p><p>─•~❉᯽❉~•─</p><p>She had seen him up in the astronomy tower multiple times, and they would ignore each other's existence as they both looked up at the stars, neither of them saying a word. She prayed that he would be there that night, she wasn't quite sure if he would show, due to what happened earlier that day.</p><p>But he was there. He was always there. They hadn't spoken more than a dozen words to each other in their whole life but she would like to think of him as a friend. And she prayed that she had read his body language earlier that day through the door, lord knows how bad that could be if she turned out to be wrong.</p><p>They had been sitting in their respective spots by the edge, neither of them caring enough to fear the danger. As December was nearing and all of the leaves had fallen and wisped away like a distant whisper, the air grew colder. Faeryn enjoyed the authentic feeling of warmth a blanket gave her, over the uncomfortable crackle of a heating charm.</p><p>It surprised both of them when she finally spoke, for both had become comfortable in the silence they shared in the months before. Faeryn found security in it, knowing she would never have to speak, she assumed he felt the same way.</p><p>But if there was one thing Faeryn knew about her life, it was that she would never be allowed security. So she spoke.</p><p>"Black?" she asked tentatively. He turned his head to look at her wide-eyed, almost as if he heard her wrong and she didn't speak at all.</p><p>"Lupin?" he returned, his brown quirked up in question, but he kept his face neutral. Faeryn couldn't read him.</p><p>She held his gaze, no matter how much she wanted to stare at her hands. Regulus seemed to share the sentiment that the unusual eye contact between them was undeniably uncomfortable.</p><p>She cleared her throat, sudden nerves attempted to block her words inside of her chest. Maybe it was a sign. A sign she couldn't trust him. A sign to shut her mouth and act like she said nothing. A sign to leave and never come back to the tower.</p><p>But she spoke anyway. She spoke because she had grown to know that boy. Even if it was without the use of words, it was small glances and the feeling of his presence on her back. His safe presence. She had never been scared he would do something to her, or say things about her. He had been as much of a guard as he could be to Faeryn, all without words. It seemed to be time to bring words into the equation.</p><p>"I was wondering... I was wondering if you wanted to be friends," she spoke, her voice sounding confident and sure despite the terror brewing behind her chest.</p><p>Regulus didn't speak for a while, he just studied her face. Faeryn felt like water was filling up in her lungs, the anticipation of his words urging the water to flow faster, to suffocate her. She felt as if she would drown if he didn't speak soon, because if he wasn't the wordless person she made him out to be, it could be disastrous.</p><p>Finally. <em>Finally</em>, he turned his gaze to look over the land surrounding the tower, his mouth opening and his lips forming around the words "Call me Regulus,"</p><p>Faeryn couldn't help the smile that broke over her face.</p><p>And they spoke, probably too late into the night. Not later than some of the other times they spent out there in silence. But it wasn't in silence this time. It was spent getting to know each other, to put words with the person she had made him out to be. Some things she already knew, not from Sirius or from other people, just things she knew while spending time in his presence. But other things were quite surprising to her. The fact that he liked cats over dogs was laughable, and he looked confused as she attempted to stifle her laughter. And even though he didn't know <em>why</em> him being a cat person was so funny, he ended up laughing along too.</p><p>And so they talked.</p><p>Faeryn lost one friend that night and gained a new one, and they both had the same face.</p><p>He <em>wasn't</em> the wordless person she made him out to be, and it <em>wasn't</em> disastrous.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There won't be much talk about the prophecy until later but I promise its important and not some open-ended plot hole.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>